did u do ur bio poem yet? Also did u try 2 go on study island? My username and password 4 last year wont work on it this year.
from a 973 phone number, Saturday, September 12, 11:43 AM

I love when schools try to make something incredibly dull sound incredibly exciting by naming it like "study island." It's like how, at my office, if we want to check status of orders, we have to log into a website called "Oasis." The homepage of Oasis pictures an idyllic oceanfront palm tree, but what "Oasis" actually stands for is Order And Shipping Information Services.

where are you in the city
from a 610 phone number, Friday, September 11, 10:37 PM

i am going to be in. the ghetto w philly soon
from a 610 phone number, Friday, September 11, 10:38 PM

610 is Pennsylvania, near Philadelphia, so I find it perplexing that this person has a friend named Philly in the city of Philly. It's like if my parents had named me Boston. Maybe this is a nickname.

hapby birthday! do you have lunch plans today?
from a 309 phone number, Friday, September 11, 8:40 AM

If Leila didn't have lunch plans, that would be kind of sad, since it was her birthday.

yo come to the kegger. .3206 woolen way by timothys. . bring whoever
from a 302 phone number, Thursday, September 10, 10:11 PM

Oh my God, this text is so AWESOME! I have always dreamt of receiving a text like this, only, you know, having it be actually addressed to me. I don't think anyone has ever invited me to a kegger. Or at least they didn't call it a "kegger."

lets just text
from a 973 phone number, Thursday, September 10m 4:32 PM

This is the technological equivalent of "let's just cuddle."

marie lets kick it
Clubkid
from a 775 phone number, Tuesday, September 8, 6:56 PM

marie answr your phone
Clubkid
from a 775 phone number, Tuesday, September 8, 8:39 PM

marie aghhh shoot me
Clubkid
from a 775 phone number, Thursday, September 10, 1:39 AM

Do you think my "let's kick it," Clubkid means, like, "let's go nightclubbing"?

(Nightclubbing, we're nightclubbing, we're what's happening.)

Im gonna break out my mocassins at school!
from a 508 phone number, Tuesday, September 8, 5:06 PM

I love the sheer, unadulturated excitement of a teen girl talking about shoes.

From Morgan... FWD: I should have some $ on wed or thurs talk to you soon
from a 303 phone number, Tuesday, September 8, 12:09 PM

Why does 303 have to be the intermediary here? Dude, Morgan-- Leila wants her $ NOW.

We started episode three a few minutes ago
from a 334 phone number, Monday, September 7, 8:55 PM

So HURRY UP, Leila, or you'll miss the whole episode and will be totally lost when you show up for episode four!

Hey who was that
from a 7572 phone number, Sunday, September 6, 9:45 PM

Hey
from a 757 phone number, Sunday, September 6, 9:53 PM

Hey u done if u r call me
from a 757 phone number, Sunday, September 6, 10:09 PM

In the interest of saving characters, I should note that you don't have to open every text message with the word "hey." Sometimes you can just get right to the point. And with those extra three characters, you might even have space to include punctuation.

what colar candles do you want for the tables
from a 423 phone number, Sunday, September 6, 3:35 PM

Something to complement the tablecloth. Barring that, an off-white will always do. I know you weren't trying to ask me, 423, but aren't you glad you did?

Sorry, dear Leila Text afficianados, for the lack of updates over the past week. I have been very preoccupied because I just SOLD MY FIRST NOVEL. It's called Wayward Girls and it will be published by Simon & Schuster in fall of 2010. My novel has almost nothing to do with text messaging, except that in one scene one of the characters sends a text. Still. I thought you might want to know, anyway.

Other than that update, life remains the same, and texts of congratulations intended for me come interspersed with texts asking other Leilas where they left their bio textbooks, or whose turn it is to pick up the kids from soccer. So let's get down to business.

Are you with your dad this weekend coming up?
from a 508 phone number, Sunday, September 6, 11:26 AM

I just hope this isn't sent by Leila's mother. I like for parents, at the very least, to know their own joint custody schedule.

get ur ass over here
from an 815 phone number, Saturday, September 5, 9:17 PM

I respond to requests. Not commands.

hey do u want dohnuts or cheese danish? -fia wants cheese danish.
from a 919 phone number, Saturday, September 5, 8:17 AM

Fia has no taste. I want donuts, please. I had a donut at 2 AM last night, and every bite of it was brilliant.

hey could you get me the name of that lab again please?
from a 915 phone number, Friday, September 4, 10:32 PM

Is this a homework request? Then my answer is, absolutely not. I will not get you the name of that lab at 10:32 on the Friday night of a long weekend. Let's readdress this question on Monday afternoon. For now, why don't you go get wasted or watch a movie, like normal students?

Can u please get me yummy ice cream when u lids come home
from a 703 phone number, Friday, September 4, 6:03 PM

I mant kids and i am praying
from a 703 phone number, Friday, September 4, 6:03 PM

I kind of hope she meant "paying," as in "I am paying for the ice cream," not "I am praying that you kids get me yummy ice cream." I mean, I often seriously hope for yummy ice cream. But praying for it seems like overkill.

we have a rez @ Mc & Schnick 4 7pm. How ya doin,?
from a 713 phone number, Friday, September 4, 5:48 PM

Well, I hope Leila likes seafood.

Can we leave our french textbook home
from a 973 phone number, Friday, September 4, 3:56 PM

I hope so. That shit is heavy.

marie eeeeppp help help help save me kidnapp me
Cubkid
from a 775 phone number, Friday, September 4, 2:58 AM

marie well ima try to get a hold of brad so....
Cubkid
from a 775 phone number, Friday, September 4, 4:27 PM

marie say no
Cubkid
from a 775 phone number, Friday, September 4, 8:28 PM

marie ugh here it goes im talking to jimmy im scarded hell be mad at me
Clubkid
from a 775 phone number, Saturday, September 5, 4:32 PM

What I don't understand is that the first three texts from this number are signed "Cubkid" (like a fan of the Cubs, maybe?), but the last one is signed "Clubkid." Is this last one a typo? Or is 775 a Cubkid on weekdays and a Clubkid on weekends?

hey leila do you think you fit me in tomorrow sometime between 930 am and 2pm i have work at 230?
~Steph~3
from a 408 phone number, Thursday, September 3, 10:11 PM

Theories? We think this Leila is a... hair dresser?

Hi, What is W/S? Do you have expenses for 09?. Love, Dad
from a 541 phone number, Thursday, September 3, 10:59 AM

Sorry, Leila's Dad, I have no idea what W/S is. Workshop? Wide/Short? Something related to expenses?