We r painting my room.
R8chel*
from a 909 phone number, Thursday, June 17, 5:45 PM EST

Hi leila this is leila alexis neais what are you doing what color is your room if you want my room color it is pulple.
from a 302 phone number, Friday, June 18, 8:23 PM EST

I hope you have noticed that these are two different text messages, from two different girls, for two different Leilas, both about room-painting and sent within the same 27-hour span. Folks, this is what the Leila Texts is all about. This is the Leila Texts at its finest.

Its lauren whats going on cause we have to leave here at 4 45 so can bring us anything here please and if its a two pack im not paying two$
California<3
from a 330 phone number, Thursday, June 17, 3:56 PM EST

I think miranda is spending the night what r u doing tonight?
California<3
from a 330 phone number, Thursday, June 17, 4:21 PM EST

What does Lauren mean by "a two pack." Like a two pack of beer? Does that exist? Wouldn't that just be two beers?

poo
from a 703 phone number, Thursday. June 17, 12:21 PM EST

Yeah.

give the book to kaily and tell her to give it to shelly at summer camp
Esaw<3(its a horse)
from a 717 phone number, Thursday, June 17, 8:57 AM EST

Okay, whoa. I have seen some sig lines in my day, but "Esaw<3(its a horse)" is some next-level shit. WHAT are you talking about?

Cierra spent the night last nigt so we hung out today then she lef then me and kelsi hung out then we went to tikias and played then kelsi went in to
from a 231 phone number, Tuesday, June 15, 10:30 PM EST

Now im where i am laughing ummm........u?????????????
from a 231 phone number, Tuesday, June 15, 10:38 PM EST

That is a really exciting Tuesday. That is the most exciting Tuesday I can imagine, frankly.

tim and laura broke up because laura was cheating on tim when she was at camp and the kid had his arm around her and she didnt do anything
"20 football"
from a 717 phone number, Tuesday, June 15, 3:16 PM EST

This is like a whole episode of Summerland in less than 160 characters.

Uh, does anyone else remember Summerland?

If we woke up naked together, using only 3 words, what would you say to me? Pass it on the both genders. WARBING: this gets funny!
from a 510 phone number, Monday, June 14, 4:31 AM EST

"Who are you?"

Got blk skt sze 8 4 u. Can ret if u dont want xox
from an 847 phone number, Sunday, June 13, 8:50 PM EST

"Got black skirt, size 8, for you. Can return if you don't want. xox"

Do you have any IDEA how many characters 847 just saved?

Have a great last day! you are amazing for making it through a year of work, school and motherhood! you can do anything!
from a 978 phone number, Wednesday, June 9, 9:00 AM EST

Have a greatttt summmerrrrrrr
from a 571 phone number, Friday, June 18, 12:38 PM EST

Guys, school is motherfucking OUT FOR SUMMER!

or Jamie Hey
I bleed for you
from a 231 phone number, Monday, June 7, 7:47 PM EST

Apparently, this is a song?

FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Text me one memory we had together. The first one that pops in ur head and fw 2 ten people and c wat u get. -MakeMeFamous(: -Day_Day
from a 919 phone number, Tuesday, June 15, 2:43 PM EST

Wht happend
-MJlover*
from a 919 phone number, Wednesday, June 16, 7:48 PM EST

Freaky friday comin on
-MJlover*
from a 919 phone number, Wednesday, June 16, 8:00 PM EST

Hey were gonna leave around 11:40 instead of 11:50
-MJlover*
from a 919 phone number, Friday, June 18, 11:55 AM EST

Omg i see this cute boy here in kroger
-MJlover*
from a 919 phone number, Friday, June 18, 2:32 PM EST

Nd i saw this cute white boy at the dollar store he was zac efron with brown eyes
-MJlover*
from a 919 phone number, Friday, June 18, 2:54 PM EST

Im tryin to send u a very sexy pic of zac efron bt it is not sendin
-MJlover*
from a 919 phone number, Friday, June 18, 3:23 PM EST

Abt him comin
-MJlover*
from a 919 phone number, Friday, June 18, 4:36 PM EST

I think 919 is boy-crazy, since she has a thing for 1) Zac Efron, 2) boys who resemble Zac Efron, 3) random boys in Kroger, and 4) Michael Jackson (I assume that's "MJ"-- that's the only MJ I know). I don't see as many cute boys in a week as she sees in one trip to the dollar store.

It's ok. Im sorry u had to go through something like this i wish i could take away all pain and hurt no one should have something like that happen to them
from a 917 phone number, Thursday, June 10, 1:08 PM EST

Don't blame urself pls i love u no matter what love tt
from a 917 phone number, Thursday, June 10, 1:10 PM EST

Oh, no! What happened to Leila?

Why hello, succulent honey dew drop of love
from an 828 phone number, Sunday, June 13, 8:32 PM EST

If you ever wonder why I even bother with the Leila Texts: This is why.

fuck yeah!! south africa just scored!
from a 310 phone number, Friday, June 11, 11:17 AM EST

I've been hoping that the Leila Texts will provide me frequent updates about the World Cup so that I can have informed opinions about it without actually having to do any work. But so far this is the only text I've received about any soccer games. Even the USA vs. England game: radio silence. Is it that no one with friends named Leila is watching the World Cup? Or no one thinks their Leilas would be interested in hearing about the results? Or everyone who watches the World Cup and who has a friend named Leila also knows how to use their cell phones?

leila bring your phone to the party
from a 541 phone number, Friday, June 11, 1:37 PM EST

that was soooo awesome we should do that again exept bring amber
from a 541 phone number, Saturday, June 12, 1:06 AM EST

leila- bring yor fone to the party @ my dads house FYI harper is also going to be their if you are aloud when at party we can ask for sleepover -abz
from a 541 phone number, Saturday, June 12, 5:03 PM EST

Here's what we know: Leila and Abz went to a party on Friday night and it was soooo awesome. They also went to a party at Abz's dad's house on Saturday night, where they may have asked for a sleepover (if Leila was allowed). What we don't know is why Abz always has to specifically instruct Leila to bring her phone to parties. Is she really micromanaging? Is Leila really forgetful? Or what?

exspecting the Lord 2 do great things. I'm praying I L U
from a 425 phone number, Saturday. June 12, 7:57 PM EST

One great thing the Lord could do would be teaching 425 how to spell "expecting." Just for a start.

does mehana know dat i smoke? ssh look at me n answee
from an 808 phone number, Saturday. June 12, 8:42 PM EST

Well, if Mehana didn't know that you smoke before, she does now that this is on the internet.

Hola hija buenas tardes gracias por hablar no te escuche estaba afuera.se me paso decirte q me iban a mandar via fax unos papeles .
from a 626 phone number, Sunday, June 13, 12:43 AM EST

Unfortunately for you, my readers, my Spanish gets worse every time I try to translate one of these. "Hello, daughter, good day, thank you for talking, do not listen something it was outside (?). I/You/He something to say to you something to send via fax some papers."

Yup.

what wd u like for dinner? steak? chicken? shrimp? or ?? prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Sunday, June 13, 11:55 AM EST

Prema is a recurring character in this blog, but we haven't heard from her in ages. Do we think she finally figured out how to text Leila and today she just forgot, or do we think she hasn't communicated with Leila (presumably her daughter) in this many months? Either way: Prema, you crazy ol' mom, we missed you.