do i have you on yr knees?
from a 301 phone number, Thursday, December 3, 5:40 PM

What is this, textsex? For when even cybersex is a little too immediate?

Im 12 and what is this?
from an 847 phone number, Thursday, December 3, 3:58 PM

"I'm 12, okay? Practically an adult. So you can't pull the wool over my eyes. What is this?"

Unfortunately, I also don't know what this is.

As an aside, I should mention that the Leila Texts has been named one of PC Magazine's favorite blogs of 2009. An enormous compliment, especially as that places this blog in the same company of Boing Boing and Buzzfeed. And PC Mag's list doesn't even include Gawker, implying (at least to me) that the Leila Texts are probably way more socially relevant than Gawker could ever dream of.

Thanks, PC Magazine people!

Are you going? I got sextractor running.
from a 203 phone number, Wednesday, December 2, 3:00 PM

Either 203 is very horny, or he has named his car "Sextractor," and I can't decide which is funnier.

Leila I love u and I'm not trying to be ugly, but before u try to set kayla up with another man , he needs to have a place to live, or u have one 4 her
from a 270 phone number, Wednesday, December 2, 1:31 PM

Cuz I can't handle her drama here anymore and I WON'T! I'm not mad at u so don't take this wrong. I just can't have her back here!!!!
from a 270 phone number, Wednesday, December 2, 1:32 PM

I'm not exaggerating when I say that messages like this are what we live for, here at the Leila Texts. Leila and 270 conspiring to set Kayla up with a man-- provided he has a place for her to move into. That is my number-one criterion in guys, too.

hey sexy
from a 614 phone number, Monday, November 30, 1:18 AM

I consider late on Sunday night to be an inopportune time for booty texts, but what do I know; I work at 9 AM on Mondays.

-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Sunday, November 29, 1:41 AM

Thank you
-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Sunday, November 29, 1:43 AM

Hi
-MaYa-
from a 4256 phone number, Sunday, November 29, 6:09 PM

Every time I hear from MaYa, I think her texts cannot get any more boring, yet then they DO! Like the first text she sent here which was just her NAME! I should really write back and let her know that the JIG IS UP.

how long do u guys plan to bowl?
Prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Saturday, November 28, 8:03 PM

From this lady. Thanks to comments, we now know that Prema is a common name in India. Even knowing that, I still find this kind of a weird sig line.

u should stop @ wells fargo @ safeway 2 sign a bank paper. see Mehdi. from claude
from a 415 phone number, Saturday, November 28, 5:52 PM

This seems kind of sketchy and encoded. Not least because banks aren't open at 5:52 PM on Saturdays.

Hey Leila! I miss you already! Is Bryce going to the party tonight?Yasmine
from a 406 phone number, Saturday, November 28, 3:27 PM

I don't know who Bryce or Yasmine is, but I do admire the impeccable capitalization and punctuation in this text!

is the movie over yet?
from a 402 phone number, Saturday, November 28, 12:51 AM

plz say yes ur home. i want to stop worrying bout u (only cuz i lov u) n go 2 sleep
from a 402 phone number, Saturday, November 28, 1:13 AM

What do we think is going on here? Clingy boyfriend? Neurotic mother?

Other important question: When someone texts that they "lov u," is that real love? Is it more real than "luv"? Does it count as "the L word"?

hey i may be running to best buy and ann cant come out still havent
from a 518 phone number, Friday, November 27, 6:41 PM

still havent heard from lisa but how about i call u in a little while
from a 518 phone number, Friday, November 27, 6:43 PM

Some things we know:

1) 518 may be running to Best Buy
2) Ann can't come out
3) Lisa can maybe come out, but 518 hasn't heard from her yet
4) 518 will call Leila in a little while, like after she has gone to Best Buy, or after Lisa calls

What we don't know:

1) Where are they going out to?
2) Will it be fun there?
3) Am I invited?

It's snowing!
from an 860 phone number, Friday, November 27, 4:27 PM

Heading to kansas city from st louis...listening to a great gospel radio station:)
from an 860 phone number, Sunday, November 29, 10:29 AM

Dinner=shrimp and oyster gumbo...and catfish and crawfish etoufee :)
from an 860 phone number, Tuesday, December 1, 9:41 PM

I can't believe I missed snow! I guess I can go without the great gospel radio station and the shrimp and oyster gumbo, though. I think this Intended Leila and I don't have that much in common.

Also forgot pickles look 4 Them xMas Eve
from a 218 phone number, Friday, November 27, 11:29 SM

Is "find the pickles" a common Christmas Eve game? I have never played before.

werlein Can go px in pm
from an 847 phone number, Thursday, November 26, 9:09 PM

No idea. It is from this person, and I didn't understand what she meant in her last two texts, either, so I guess this is just par for the course.

Boys It is 9 o clock right now
from a 503 phone number, Thursday, November 26, 12:51 AM

Man, that is discipline! Your kids not coming home by curfew? Set them straight with a fiercely worded, minimally punctuated text message!

mom were r the yams
from a 562 phone number, Wednesday, November 25, 1:18 PM

Lemmi! I missed our connection either standby tonite or fl. tomorrow am.
from a 912 phone number, Wednesday, November 25, 5:44 PM

hey, leila... plane landed at 6 and it's been a while. I tried to call. Are you still picking me up?
from a 713 phone number, Wednesday, November 25, 9:08 PM

Happy Thanksgiving Day:.
from a 718 phone number, Thursday, November 26, 8:18 AM

Here is a sampling of what Thanksgiving was like this year for four different friends of Leilas. Missing yams, travel hassles, texts sent at 8:18 in the morning... Can you now understand why I spent last week in a foreign country?

Hey where r u and wats 4 din
Beastmode777
from an 843 phone number, Tuesday, November 24, 7:50 PM

I had always thought the Mark of the Beast was 666, not 777? No?

Two souls but with a single thought two hearts that beat as one ^^
from a 770 phone number, Thursday, November 19, 9:19 PM

All right team, we are back, and we start out with a quote that Google attributes alternately to Keats, Von Munch-Bellinghausen, and others, but which I personally think sounds like lyrics from a Stacey Q song.