hey call me im bored in dance class wishing u are here did imention im very very bored bye bye ttyl ttfn l8r g8r
from a 415 phone number, Tuesday, September 11, 9:14 PM

This girl should hook up with the 608 area code girl who was so bored at the library last weekend, and then they would both stop being bored. That would kill two birds with one stone.

It seems wrong that this girl should be very very bored, though. What dance class gives you time to text? This is obviously not like advanced ballet here. Maybe it's a social dance class. Whatever it is, they should really be working the kids harder.

I find it funny that, when people are bored, they text their friends (Specifically their friends named Leila). I mean, I do the same, all the time, so I absolutely relate. But I still find it funny. What did humans do when they were bored before the advent of texting?

Salam kola ghermezi:) khufiii
from an 818 phone number, Monday, September 10, 11:57 AM

Sometimes the Leila Texts make such little sense, out of context as they are, that they could practically be written in a foreign language.
Other times, they actually are written in a foreign language.
It can be hard to figure out which is which, but I'm pretty sure this is an example of the latter.

Hey is 85 a wk good 4 a house cleaner?
from a 909 phone number, Thursday, September 6, 9:17 PM

My God, I have no idea. How many days a week is the cleaner coming? How big is your house? Of course, even if I knew the answers to these questions, I would not know what a good price is for a house cleaner. If it were a manicure, I would tell you: $10-$15. If it were a vodka cranberry at a bar, I would tell you: $4-$7. But a house cleaner? I would call my mother.

It fascinates me that there exists some Leila (in California, it seems) who would KNOW these things. Some Leila who, when her friends are getting housecleaners, are like, "You know who we should ask about this? Leila. She is like the expert at pricing out cleaning services."

If I ever become rich enough to get my own house cleaner, hell, I'LL text this Leila to ask what I should be paying. I would be grateful for her advice.

you best be ready for the smack down! Haha
from an 860 phone number, Wednesday, September 5, 10:35 PM

I'm not sure how I would respond to this text, if I were the intended Leila. "Oh, I am ready, don't you worry." Or, "Ahh! No, not the smack down!" Or, "You'll never get me!"

Text message flirtation is not my forte, apparently.

Hey justin now has txting
from a 307 phone number, Tuesday, September 4, 4:24 PM

True. Too bad Justin still doesn't know how to use it properly.

Its been over an hour
from an 810 phone number, Saturday, September 1, 10:58 PM

I was at the movies with my mother and my friend Emily on Saturday night. When I emerged, I had this text on my phone. This pleased me; it makes me feel lonely to turn off my phone for two hours, and then turn it on again to find that no one has tried to contact me for the entire time that I have been incommunicado.

Emily was less impressed. "They weren't actually texting YOU," she pointed out. As though this makes a difference.

Hey what are the plans for tomorrow
from an 814 phone number. Saturday, September 1, 8:53 PM

I regret not calling this person back. Like, what if he and Leila had made tentative plans for a date, so he was texting to see what they were going to do? But then she didn't receive his text, so she assumed that he didn't actually want to go out with her, and he assumed that she's ignoring him, and now their chances at a relationship are ruined.

And if they ever discuss it, it'll be, like, he'll work up all his nerve to say to her, "Leila, why did you never text me back that time I asked about our plans? You could have at least written back to say you weren't interested."

And then she'll reply, "You never texted me."

And he'll say, "Yes, I did!"

And she'll say, "Look, it's fine that you didn't actually want to go out with me. I can handle it. But don't lie to me and pretend like you texted me when we both know you didn't."

And Leila will think he's a liar, and he'll think Leila's a bitch, and it will be all because I couldn't be bothered to call back some 814 phone number.

(Alternatively, maybe 814 is just Leila's best friend, who, failing to receive a response, just phoned Leila up an hour later. No biggie.)

I am at the library... And I am bored!!!
from a 608 phone number, Saturday, September 1, 4:55 PM

I don't know where this 608 character goes to college, but wherever it is, she can't be more than two weeks into the new school year. If she's ALREADY so bored of the library that she's texting Leila about it, then I feel pretty bad for her. It's a long nine months between now and graduation.

On the upside, girl, at least you get cell phone reception in your library. My college library was a goddamn Faraday cage. When I was there and bored, I couldn't text anyone for moral support, least of all someone else named Leila.

FWD: FWD: --ORIGINAL MSG: Ur LOVE wil cal u ' 10:55 pm, KIS u 2morrow, or ASK u out. If u BREAK the chain ul have bad luk. Send dis to 10 ppl
from an 808 phone number, Friday, August 31, 3:39 PM

Oh my God, I cannot WAIT for 10:55 pm. That is going to be the best minute EVER.

Ok. Luv ma
from a 504 phone number

My ma never texts me. She wouldn't know how if she tried. She would also never say she "luvs" me, because she actually loves me, because she is my mother.

Aw.

Cierra left her pillow case.
from a 916 phone number, Thursday, August 30, 1:29 AM

Somewhere, there is a Leila who would be deeply affected by the news that Cierra left her pillow case. This is obviously a relevant piece of information, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why. I have never in my life of texting felt the need to inform a friend that someone left her pillow case (though I have also never felt the need to inform a friend that I only roll with P.I.M.P.S., so perhaps I shouldn't use myself as a texting reference point).

The best explanation I can come up with for this text is that it is code for something like, "Cierra hooked up with a really hot guy," or, "The Nazis surrendered," or whatever.

Hey its beth! i wanna see u!
from a 518 phone number, Wednesday, August 29, 4:00 PM

This sort of text always unnerves me because it could conceivably actually be for me. I might know someone named Beth, right? And she might want to see me? I don't know where 518 is, and I can't offhand think of a Beth who would want to see me who is not already saved in my contacts list, so I am going to assume this is a Leila Text and will not call this girl back. I figure that's a safer route than calling up this stranger and being like, "Beth! I wanna see u, too!"

Fwd: Fwd: I only roll wit P.I.M.P.S. (Pretty Individuals Makin People Stare) and you're one of them send this to 10 of ya prettiest friends!
from a 925 phone number, Tuesday, August 28, 1:12 AM

This text awoke me from a deep sleep. I'm going to tell you something: It was well worth waking up for.

FWD: FWD: FWD:FWD: FWD: FWD:FWD:Fwd: Fwd: I better get this back! i love you to death ;) today is bestfriendz day snd to 10 friendz u kant imagine losin*
from a 201 phone number, Saturday, August 25, 3:26 PM

Bestfriendz Day is my favorite holiday, though I'm not sure how Kant would feel about having his name, however accidentally, associated with this concept.

FWD: -No matter where life takes us promise we'll always be friends send to ten great friends including me=)
from a 925 phone number, Thursday, August 23, 4:46 PM

This particular chain text seems considerably less instructive than the "HIV needles in gas pumps" chain text I received last week. Heartwarming, perhaps; instructive, certainly not. Doesn't this person know that "instructive" is the new gold standard in text messaging? She really ought to follow the "Tom brady had a boy" model.

Going back to that one, by the way... I am so excited to now have that piece of knowledge, without having had to exert any effort to obtain it. I intend to make a lot of casual conversation about it. "So, did you hear that Tom Brady just had a boy?" I will not make casual conversation like, "So, did you hear that no matter where life takes us promise we'll always be friends?"

Tom brady had a boy
from a 408 phone number, Wednesday, August 22, 7:33 PM

I just looked it up on Yahoo!News, and this is, in fact, true: Tom Brady did have a boy. See how useful the Leila Texts can be? If only more people would text facts to one another, instead of cryptic party invitations (c.f. the "party @ masons" text and the "partyy at marks" text). I would become a whole lot smarter as a result.

Hi leila love you!
aly----@hotmail.com
allarie e-mail adress.
from an 845 phone number, Monday, August 20, 4:09 PM

The actual text includes a full email address, of course, but I've removed it here to protect the sender's privacy (as much as I can, given that I'm posting her private correspondence to the entire Internet).

It often baffles me the places where people do and do not exert effort to use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. For example: putting the hyphen in "e-mail"? That seems pretty hard. It takes at least a couple extra keystrokes. And it's not like Leila wouldn't have known what Aly was talking about had Aly just written "email." So the hyphen wasn't for clarity, or for speed. What was it for? These are the sort of linguistic questions that I grapple with daily.

P.S. Aly-- I love you too. (Possibly.)

heyy partyy at marks on wed. from 5 to 10...be there or be square!
from a 631 phone number, Monday, August 20, 9:56 PM

I often receive texted invitations to events that I cannot attend (mostly because I don't know where they are being held, or who invited me). It's sad, because it's like I'm very popular... only not really.

Also, as a side note: I find it odd that both "hey" and "party" are spelled with two 'y's at the end. Either would make sense-- "heyy" sounds debonair, and "partyy" sounds like a badass shindig-- but one immediately following the other reads as a little awkward. Not that it matters to me; I'd still love to go to Mark's party on Wednesday. If I knew who Mark was.

Allie says hi
from a 413 phone number, Sunday, August 19, 7:39 PM

I actually know people from the 413 area code (it's the Berkshires), many of whom would send me texts similar to this one. So theoretically this message could be intended for me, and not another Leila. Only I don't know anyone who spells her name "Allie." So this could be someone I know in the Berkshires, texting me to say that someone I don't know named Allie says hi.

Most likely, though, it's someone I don't know in the Berkshires, texting a Leila that I don't know, to say that Allie (whom I don't know) says hi. So this is not actually my concern at all.

park ey did you ever take a music class in college
from a 714 phone number, Sunday, August 19, 5:57 PM

The difficult thing about predictive texting is that it really could be anything. "ey" is obviously not a word. But had s/he typed a 4 after it, it would have turned into "fyi." Not that "park fyi did you ever take a music class in college" makes sense, either. Maybe s/he just put the space after the wrong letter, and it was supposed to be "par key." At least keys have something to do with music.

I haven't yet made sense out of this text, but I have raised an important point, which is that mis-typed predictive texts are not as straight-forward as you might assume.

And to answer your question, 714: Yes. I did take a music class in college.