SHAWTY U A 10! send dis to da 10 prettiest girls/ Hottest guys you know. If u get 1-2 ur ok 3-4 ur hot 4 or more ur f
from a 360 phone number, Friday, November 9, 9:23 PM
I really want to know what happens if you get 4 or more. "ur f." F what? Is that short for "fucking gorgeous"? I hope so.
I got this text message only once, which I guess makes me just "ok," but that's still better than any of you lot reading this blog, because I doubt you've ever gotten any.
Also: I was previously unaware that "shawty" was the new cool way of saying "shorty" (as in "go shorty, it's your birthday, we gonna party like it's your birthday"), but I have now duly taken note.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
I want 2 come 2 the dark side 2morrow
from a 201 phone number, Friday, November 9, 3:28 PM
My hope is that this person is not kidding. My hope is that 201 lives in a town where Leila has formed a coven of evil witches, and 201 has been refusing to join, despite Leila's encouragements that 201 would make "a very powerful witch." But today something momentous happened, making 201 realize that she cannot make it on her own, she is too weak, and her only option for self-preservation or success is 2 come 2 the dark side. And Leila, had she received this text, would have responded to 201, "you are making the right choice," and then would have sat alone and cackled to herself, "One more for my coven! I am winning them over, one by one! This town will be ours!"
from a 201 phone number, Friday, November 9, 3:28 PM
My hope is that this person is not kidding. My hope is that 201 lives in a town where Leila has formed a coven of evil witches, and 201 has been refusing to join, despite Leila's encouragements that 201 would make "a very powerful witch." But today something momentous happened, making 201 realize that she cannot make it on her own, she is too weak, and her only option for self-preservation or success is 2 come 2 the dark side. And Leila, had she received this text, would have responded to 201, "you are making the right choice," and then would have sat alone and cackled to herself, "One more for my coven! I am winning them over, one by one! This town will be ours!"
Do u have those movies i am being charged for? How long have you had them.
from a 916 phone number, Wednesday, November 7, 7:21 PM
Contentious! This is totally the sort of text you send to your roommate whom you hate, or some irresponsible "friend" who's always taking your stuff. If Leila were 916's actual friend, then 916 would have called Leila to say, "Can you return my videos?" But at the point where it's a text message, that's basically like, "I can't even TALK to you, just return my shit so I don't have to keep paying money for YOUR POOR JUDGMENT."
from a 916 phone number, Wednesday, November 7, 7:21 PM
Contentious! This is totally the sort of text you send to your roommate whom you hate, or some irresponsible "friend" who's always taking your stuff. If Leila were 916's actual friend, then 916 would have called Leila to say, "Can you return my videos?" But at the point where it's a text message, that's basically like, "I can't even TALK to you, just return my shit so I don't have to keep paying money for YOUR POOR JUDGMENT."
R u tryin to wirk there o
from a 540 phone number, Tuesday, November 6, 9:17 PM
You recall from a few weeks ago my analysis of how you can tell when someone is using predictive texting and when they are using letter-by-letter texting. Well, this text is interesting because it's easy to tell that they sent it from their computer. The giveaway is the word "wirk." This can't have been an abbreviation-- "wirk" and "work" both have four digits. And, on a phone, the "i" key and the "o" key aren't near each other. However, they are next to one another on a computer keyboard.
A typo of "work" in predictive texting would be "world" (if you accidentally hit the "3" key at the end of typing "work") or "york" (if you accidentally hit the "next word" button). A typo of "work" in letter-by-letter texting would be "wnrk" or "worj," if you hit one letter key too many times, or not enough. But "wirk" comes only from a computer keyboard.
Or, potentially, from someone who has no fucking clue how to spell "work."
from a 540 phone number, Tuesday, November 6, 9:17 PM
You recall from a few weeks ago my analysis of how you can tell when someone is using predictive texting and when they are using letter-by-letter texting. Well, this text is interesting because it's easy to tell that they sent it from their computer. The giveaway is the word "wirk." This can't have been an abbreviation-- "wirk" and "work" both have four digits. And, on a phone, the "i" key and the "o" key aren't near each other. However, they are next to one another on a computer keyboard.
A typo of "work" in predictive texting would be "world" (if you accidentally hit the "3" key at the end of typing "work") or "york" (if you accidentally hit the "next word" button). A typo of "work" in letter-by-letter texting would be "wnrk" or "worj," if you hit one letter key too many times, or not enough. But "wirk" comes only from a computer keyboard.
Or, potentially, from someone who has no fucking clue how to spell "work."
Whats good erything ok going good i hope
from a 540 phone number, Tuesday, November 6, 8:42 PM
This seems like overkill, doesn't it? "Whats good"? "erything ok"? "going good i hope"? Dude, you can just say, "Are you ok?" or, "hope you're doing well." Leila's a smart girl (I assume). She'll understand you the first time through.
from a 540 phone number, Tuesday, November 6, 8:42 PM
This seems like overkill, doesn't it? "Whats good"? "erything ok"? "going good i hope"? Dude, you can just say, "Are you ok?" or, "hope you're doing well." Leila's a smart girl (I assume). She'll understand you the first time through.
r u goin 2 ski skool???
from a 206 phone number, Friday, November 2, 9:11 PM
No, though I wish I were, because my skiing could really use some work. However, I do want to throw out there that even if I were going to ski skool, I don't know that I would have made that decision by November 2. You know? It hasn't even snowed yet. I haven't taken out my winter coat. It seems early in the season to making such important decisions.
from a 206 phone number, Friday, November 2, 9:11 PM
No, though I wish I were, because my skiing could really use some work. However, I do want to throw out there that even if I were going to ski skool, I don't know that I would have made that decision by November 2. You know? It hasn't even snowed yet. I haven't taken out my winter coat. It seems early in the season to making such important decisions.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Wed is going to suck. Bus is at 7:15am for noon flight
from a 303 phone number, Friday, October 26, 5:25 PM
Ughhhh that IS going to suck! Leila will have to wake up at like 6:45 AM, and that's still assuming she's finished all her packing the night before. I don't envy the girl. Move closer to the airport, why don't you? If it's a noon flight, you don't really need to be there before 10 AM, which means you must live nearly three hours away from the airport?!? Unless the bus is stopping many times along the ride there, and 303 person just happens to live right at the beginning of the route. Or maybe this trip is being organized by someone incredibly neurotic who insists upon their all arriving at the airport four hours before the flight leaves.
Regardless, 303 person and Leila have my pity.
from a 303 phone number, Friday, October 26, 5:25 PM
Ughhhh that IS going to suck! Leila will have to wake up at like 6:45 AM, and that's still assuming she's finished all her packing the night before. I don't envy the girl. Move closer to the airport, why don't you? If it's a noon flight, you don't really need to be there before 10 AM, which means you must live nearly three hours away from the airport?!? Unless the bus is stopping many times along the ride there, and 303 person just happens to live right at the beginning of the route. Or maybe this trip is being organized by someone incredibly neurotic who insists upon their all arriving at the airport four hours before the flight leaves.
Regardless, 303 person and Leila have my pity.
FWD: FWD: Shes having the baby! the classroom is mine i am so excited
from a 765 phone number, Wednesday, October 24, 8:08 AM
Okay, here is what I'm surmising happened:
Some woman-- say her name is Ann-- is an assistant teacher to some other woman, say, Bonnie. Then Ann finds out that Bonnie is pregnant! Ann is excited because this would make her the head teacher. But then Bonnie has second thoughts. She considers abortion. Ann waits on pins and needles.
But then Bonnie decides: "Shes having the baby!" Gleefully, Ann texts her best friend, um, Cara. Cara forwards this text to their mutual friend, Diane, who works at the school with Ann, assuming Diane will be pleased for Ann.
Only here's the catch: Diane only PRETENDS to be friends with Ann. Really she HATES her, and she sees in this forwarded text message the opportunity to BRING ANN DOWN. So she forwards this text message to Leila, the SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, as a way of saying, "Look how callous Ann is! She doesn't even care that Bonnie is having a baby. All she cares about is getting her own classroom."
But that's where Diane went wrong. Rather than addressing the forwarded text message to Leila, the principal, she sent it to me, Leila, the Verizon text girl. So her little ploy to bring down Ann in the eyes of their shared boss won't work, after all! I have thwarted you, Diane!
(That is the most logical explanation of this particular text message, right?)
from a 765 phone number, Wednesday, October 24, 8:08 AM
Okay, here is what I'm surmising happened:
Some woman-- say her name is Ann-- is an assistant teacher to some other woman, say, Bonnie. Then Ann finds out that Bonnie is pregnant! Ann is excited because this would make her the head teacher. But then Bonnie has second thoughts. She considers abortion. Ann waits on pins and needles.
But then Bonnie decides: "Shes having the baby!" Gleefully, Ann texts her best friend, um, Cara. Cara forwards this text to their mutual friend, Diane, who works at the school with Ann, assuming Diane will be pleased for Ann.
Only here's the catch: Diane only PRETENDS to be friends with Ann. Really she HATES her, and she sees in this forwarded text message the opportunity to BRING ANN DOWN. So she forwards this text message to Leila, the SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, as a way of saying, "Look how callous Ann is! She doesn't even care that Bonnie is having a baby. All she cares about is getting her own classroom."
But that's where Diane went wrong. Rather than addressing the forwarded text message to Leila, the principal, she sent it to me, Leila, the Verizon text girl. So her little ploy to bring down Ann in the eyes of their shared boss won't work, after all! I have thwarted you, Diane!
(That is the most logical explanation of this particular text message, right?)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Hey. Do you wanna go to walmart with us tonight? After edward gets out.
from a 281 phone number, Tuesday, October 23, 6:50 PM
Ooh. I do wanna go, actually, as my coworker Jillian recently informed me that Walmart stocks Rice Krispie Treat cereal. Unfortunately, person, you do not know who I am, and 281 is in Houston. So I'm afraid that, this time, I must respectfully decline.
(Please note: Now would be an excellent time for the Rice Krispie corporation to send me complimentary boxes of cereal, as thanks for all the good publicity I'm giving them. Just a thought.)
from a 281 phone number, Tuesday, October 23, 6:50 PM
Ooh. I do wanna go, actually, as my coworker Jillian recently informed me that Walmart stocks Rice Krispie Treat cereal. Unfortunately, person, you do not know who I am, and 281 is in Houston. So I'm afraid that, this time, I must respectfully decline.
(Please note: Now would be an excellent time for the Rice Krispie corporation to send me complimentary boxes of cereal, as thanks for all the good publicity I'm giving them. Just a thought.)
Love you, too.
from a 303 phone number, Tuesday, October 23, 11:36 AM
This is a weird one. It appears like this 303 person was in the middle of a texting conversation with Leila. Like she texted him to say, "Love you," and now he's texting back to say, "Love you, too." But if that were the case, why wouldn't he just hit the "reply" button to her text? Why start an entirely NEW text message and type in the "send-to" field as L-E-I-L-A?
The ways in which people interact with their technological devices are fascinating, unpredictable, and inexplicable.
from a 303 phone number, Tuesday, October 23, 11:36 AM
This is a weird one. It appears like this 303 person was in the middle of a texting conversation with Leila. Like she texted him to say, "Love you," and now he's texting back to say, "Love you, too." But if that were the case, why wouldn't he just hit the "reply" button to her text? Why start an entirely NEW text message and type in the "send-to" field as L-E-I-L-A?
The ways in which people interact with their technological devices are fascinating, unpredictable, and inexplicable.
do ya luv it or do u luv it
from a 763 phone number, Friday, October 19, 5:30 PM
Oh. Hmm. Tricky grammatical question there. I think "do u luv it," because "u" sounds more like "you," but "do ya luv it" is still understandable. It may be like pronunciations of "neither": they're both valid. You say "tomato," etc.
And, yes. I luv it.
from a 763 phone number, Friday, October 19, 5:30 PM
Oh. Hmm. Tricky grammatical question there. I think "do u luv it," because "u" sounds more like "you," but "do ya luv it" is still understandable. It may be like pronunciations of "neither": they're both valid. You say "tomato," etc.
And, yes. I luv it.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Got the message got the time did not get the airline dc
from an 808 phone number, Monday, October 15, 8:19 AM
I texted this person back and told him to re-send the text, but I hope he managed to do so before Leila was actually airborne. It sucks to be wandering around an airport, trying to figure out... was it American? USAir? Who knows?
from an 808 phone number, Monday, October 15, 8:19 AM
I texted this person back and told him to re-send the text, but I hope he managed to do so before Leila was actually airborne. It sucks to be wandering around an airport, trying to figure out... was it American? USAir? Who knows?
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Omg leila im scarred now
from an 808 phone number, Sunday, October 14, 4:12 AM
Sometimes I'm jealous of other people. I believe that when other people receive texts at 4:12 AM on a Saturday night, those texts are pretty much guaranteed to be from their boy/girlfriends, texting to say, "hey baby im drunk an i love you so much xxx"
Other people never run the risk that their 4:12 AM messages will be Leila Texts from Hawaii (where the time difference means that it is not, in fact, 4:12 AM).
Other people have all the luck.
from an 808 phone number, Sunday, October 14, 4:12 AM
Sometimes I'm jealous of other people. I believe that when other people receive texts at 4:12 AM on a Saturday night, those texts are pretty much guaranteed to be from their boy/girlfriends, texting to say, "hey baby im drunk an i love you so much xxx"
Other people never run the risk that their 4:12 AM messages will be Leila Texts from Hawaii (where the time difference means that it is not, in fact, 4:12 AM).
Other people have all the luck.
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