R u ridin w kelsey home?
from a 404 phone number, Monday, July 21, 9:13 PM

Same person who was looking for a walk buddy and whose dining room has no boxes in it. Not sure how Kelsey fits into that equation.

Jjj
from an 813 phone number, Monday, July 21, 5:53 PM

Did you know that last entry was my five HUNDREDTH post to this blog? Wow. That is like epic amounts of posting. And epic amounts of text messages.

As for this particular text message... Whatwhatwhat?

Hey leila
how r u?
and how is massachasettes
from a 248 phone number, Sunday, July 20, 1:37 PM

I'll grant you that "Massachusetts" is a tricky word to spell, but 248 was way off. That said, the nice thing about "Massachusetts" is that you can get half the letters wrong, yet people will still know what you're talking about. Masacshussettes. You can still read it, can't you?

Anyway, this text was eerie because I WAS in Massachusetts for the weekend. So is 248 someone I know, just failing to identify themselves? Or were there TWO of us Leilas in Massachusetts this weekend? Is Massachusetts big enough for the both of us?

Walk buddy?
from a 404 phone number, Friday, July 18, 9:31 PM

a dining room with no boxes hey!
from a 404 phone number, Sunday, July 20, 4:21 PM

Hey, indeed. I assume 404 just moved houses and has now finished unpacking his dining room. Which is awesome progress, by the way. That doesn't help explain why he wanted a "walk buddy," but I don't care.

are you going to grandma's
*RiTa_PiTa*
from a 951 phone number, Friday, July 18, 5:41 PM

what do you want to do????,....
*RiTa_PiTa*
from a 951 phone number, Friday, July 18, 9:30 PM

the reason why i called you is because i was gunna go over but my mom said that i have to take care of the baby but imma go oveer later
*RiTa_PiTa*
from a 951 phone number, Saturday, July 19, 6:27 PM

are you at home?????
*RiTa_PiTa*
from a 951 phone number, Sunday, July 20, 3:22 AM

I am so over *RiTa_PiTa* and her excess question marks and her family drama. I called her yesterday and was like, "Stop it. Stop stop stop." She didn't ask me how I was getting her text messages, or how I knew she was trying to reach her Leila. So either she was too overwhelmed by my call to ask questions, or she just doesn't have much curiosity.

i ordered cheese fries. bring danny by and we'll have a feast with seamus and humphrey
from a 703 phone number, Thursday, July 17, 7:57 PM

Since a character in Gossip Girl is "Dan Humphrey," I immediately assumed this text was some sort of oblique reference to him. But I guess it's more likely that Leila actually knows guys named Danny, Seamus, and Humphrey-- though where she found them is anyone's guess.

hey la.. this is my number... I'm working on getting a new one...
-->SIX
from a 210 phone number, Wednesday, July 16, 10:39 PM

I've never been a big nickname person, but there are those (mostly my godmother and my first-year college roommate) who call me "Lei." But there has never been anyone, ever, who has called me "La."

Send the picture to my moms phone "ILL NaNa"
from a 559 phone number, Monday, July 14, 10:21 PM

559's mom must be like 27 years old, in order for her to be this "with it." If you sent a picture to my mom's phone, she would have no idea how to open it. And if you called her "ill," she not only wouldn't realize that you meant she was cool, she might also take an ibuprofen.

imma make it juicy for yaaa.(:
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, July 13, 9:17 PM

Is this the same kind of "juicy" as the Leila who needed juicy to get loosey goosey? Or is this a different type of juicy? How many meanings of "juicy" are there?

eyyy
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, July 13, 1:21 AM

Thanks for texting a Leila, Fonzie.

hi this is giannibelle text me back
from a 407 phone number, Saturday, July 12, 3:18 PM

text me back please
from a 407 phone number, Saturday, July 12, 3:24 PM

Sometimes this culture of instant gratification annoys the hell out of me. Giannibelle, if you asked Leila to text you back, you don't need to ask again only six minutes later. Probably she just hasn't gotten around to it yet. If one of my actual friends sent me this series of text messages, I would be like, "Leave me the fuck alone. I am trying to lead my life here."

Also: Have you ever met anyone named Giannibelle? Because I have not.

are you there
*hannah*
from an 812 phone number, Saturday, July 12, 1:53 PM

no
*leila*

oh my lordy...seamus kissed me!
from a 703 phone number, Thursday, July 10, 9:02 PM

man, im so excited! im literally sitting her shoving down cheesecake in an attempt to stifle my joy.
from a 703 phone number, Thursday, July 10, 9:33 PM

This is probably the most exciting news I've ever heard. Or, to be more accurate, if I were the Intended Leila, this would probably be the most exciting news I would have ever heard.

I wonder for how long this 703/Seamus hook-up was in the works. Had they been flirting for weeks? Months? Years? Had Leila been saying for ages that they would totally someday get together, or will Leila be stunned by this turn of events? Why are kisses so fun?

are you still having bonfire tonight?
shay shay
from a 313 phone number, Tuesday, July 8, 8:18 PM

Some Leilas are so cool. Like this one, who's apparently hosting a bonfire party. I want to host a bonfire party. Hell, I would settle for just being invited to a bonfire party.

While in California, we went to Huntington Beach, which my guidebook promised was "the place to go" for beach bonfires. I couldn't verify this claim. If there were beach bonfires going down, no one invited me.

Ha ha luke is such a fat ass. If just ate 2 fluff and peanutbutter sandwiches with 2 sides of chips... I'm full after 1.
from a 630 phone number, Tuesday, July 8, 12:22 PM

First of all, 630, they're called "fluffernutters," not "fluff and peanutbutter sandwiches." Second of all, everyone else, when is the last time you ate a fluffernutter? Let alone TWO fluffernutters! Were you in elementary school?

(Actually, the last time I ate a fluffernutter was like three weeks ago. It was at Peanut Butter and Co., which is this restaurant that could exist nowhere but Manhattan, where you pay upwards of $7 for peanut butter sandwiches. Sure, the peanut butter's better than the Skippy that you buy at the supermarket, but really you'll paying for the nostalgia.)

love u
glad u got to visit
laura
from a 404 phone number, Monday, July 7, 8:24 PM

Coincidentally, I just came home from California, where I got to visit my friend Laura. But I know that this text is a real Leila Text, and is not from MY Laura. Not least because MY Laura doesn't use "u" as a word.

So what are we doin
from a 339 phone number, Sunday, July 6, 10:39 AM

Well, now, I don't know, 339. I am cleaning my room and finishing baking brownies. We could be doing any number of things. What are we doin? You tell me.

Wanna hit waterpk sun?
from an 808 phone number, Friday, July 4, 7:10 PM

I just spent like eight minutes googling "waterpark sun," as though that were the full name of an amusement park resort, before I realized that 808 actually means "Wanna hit waterpark on Sunday." So I don't know which waterpark she means, but presumably one in Hawaii.

are you coming to tio ito's game today
*RiTa_PiTa*
from a 951 phone number, Friday, July 4, 1:20 PM

Why does this chick sometimes go by *RiTa_PiTa* and sometimes go by *RiTa_cAtAnO*? If I weren't paying such close attention, I might mistake them for two separate people, both of whom have an eerie fondness for alternating lowercase and capital letters.

i love you i hope you know that
from a 724 phone number, Thursday, July 3, 5:53 PM

Yes, I do know that, thank you, 724. It must have been the two other "i love you" texts this week, but somehow that message has really sunk in.

Leilas = the most loved people in the country? T/F?