you smell
from a 763 phone number, Friday, October 31, 4:16 PM

I love when eight-year-old boys try to flirt with me.

Hey were meeting at 830. Now sure where yet. Any ideas?
from a 734 phone number, Thursday, October 30, 6:06 PM

Well nobody is answering me so i dunno whats goin on
from a 734 phone umber, Thursday, October 30, 7:11 PM

Who bought the t bell? my drunkass forgot to give anyone money
from a 734 phone number, Saturday, November 1, 12:18 PM

Well, I guess managed to meet up with her friends eventually-- even though none of them were answering her (because none of her texts were reaching them). I mean, she must have met up with them for long enough to be drunk and do something with a t bell (?) without paying anyone for it. Sounds like a successful night out.

For bloody serious, I don't understand the pro prop 8 wankers. It isn't going to effect you. Vote no, you arses. I would if I could vote. Fucking yanks.
from a 650 phone number, Wednesday, October 29, 3:10 AM

Well put, 650. And don't worry, we fucking yanks have the same response to congestion charging.

Actually, just kidding, no, we don't. We don't pay attention to other countries' domestic policies.

Anyway, allow me to use this text as a jumping-off point to remind you all to VOTE on Tuesday. I'm sure you've been inundated with reminders, but this time I, personally, am cajoling you. It matters to me, the default Verizon Leila. Don't let me down.

smith FWD: : Silent prayer for Jennifer Hudsons family.. If you have a heart keep this going.
from an 860 phone number, Tuesday, October 28, 11:15 AM

This text was actually how I found out about the tragedy that has befallen Jennifer Hudson's family. After I received this message, I immediately went to Yahoo!News to find out what was up, on the (correct) assumption that, if there was news about a past American Idol contender, Yahoo! definitely have an article about it. Sadly, the same cannot always be said for the New York Times.

Drinking non alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin,,sure it taste the same but its just wrong. Keep it going!
from a 605 phone number, Monday, October 27, 9:32 PM

What concerns me most about this text is that this is not the first time I have received it.

Im still in a meeting in philadelphia i should be home tonight
from a 908 phone number, Monday, October 27, 2:15 PM

908 is Central New Jersey, which isn't ridiculously far to have to travel after a meeting in Philadelphia... but it's far enough that I, for one, would not be thrilled about the commute.

i hav 2 ipods now. hahaha!
from a 703 phone number, Sunday, October 26, 7:10 PM

This reminds me of a conversation I once witnessed on the subway, in which this guy pulled out his iPod, and his girlfriend said admiringly, "Oh my God, how many iPods do you have?"

And he shrugged in a pleased, chill way, and replied, "Dunno. Like eight or nine, maybe."

And she was like, "Wow."

And I was like, "Lady, does it bother you that your boyfriend is quite probably a thief?"

Call me cell wanna in to a small play tonigh eight in the city
from a 510 phone number, Saturday, October 25, 6:11 PM

510 must assume that Leila likes him a lot since he provides no information about the play other than that 1) it is small, 2) it is in the city, 3) presumably he will be there. This play could totally blow, for all the detail he has provided. I wouldn't go. (Unless 510 was like really hot.)

What r u doing
from a 602 phone number, Saturday, October 25, 1:06 AM

He Put you through hell. if u need sex pick me..
from a 602 phone number, Saturday, October 25, 2:04 AM

I lost all respect 4 you. sorry u have fun
from a 602 phone number, Saturday, October 25, 3:19 AM

I don't see how you can accuse some other guy of putting Leila through hell when you're the one telling her you lost all respect 4 her. It sounds like Leila is just getting emotional abuse from all sides. Plus, does it appear to anyone else like 602 lost all respect 4 Leila just because she didn't pick him for sex? What a baby.

FWD:FW: Msg: Dear God, The lady reading this is beautiful and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Send to 10 femals, even
from a 314 phone number, Wednesday, October 22, 10:48 PM

I wonder how God feels when he reads text messages like this one.

We just got back!
from a 609 phone number, Wednesday, October 22, 3:51 PM

my love M so horny and i cant stop thinking about you
from a 609 phone number, Thursday, October 23, 9:25 AM

ahahahahaha and the winner of "Best Text of the Week" goes to....

Im proud of u parisa told me about your paper
from a 703 phone number, Monday, October 20, 9:21 PM

I love texts where people tell Leilas that they're proud of them. This restores my faith in humanity (and texting).

hey i had so much fun saturday night! u will def have to come with us again! did u get chino's socks back?
from a 256 phone number, Monday, October 20, 4:56 PM

Remember on the OC, how some of the douchebag jocks used to refer to Ryan as "Chino"? I really hope this text is a reference to Ryan Atwood.

Where r u now? Txt me.
from a 951 phone number, Sunday, October 19, 11:17 PM

What us our plan today? Later this pm? Pls call me.
from a 951 phone number, Monday, October 20, 9:51 AM

Are u coming to rc? Pls call.
from a 951 phone number, Monday, October 20, 8:59 PM

951, I find you just a little too concerned with the minute details of Leila's life plan. It's kinda overbearing.

Hi. How are you?
from a 248 phone number, Sunday, October 19, 9:51 PM

Fine. Ready for a nap, mostly.

Its jas. We go old bay. PLS BE THERE.
from a 973 phone number, Saturday, October 18, 10:09 PM

Probably the Old Bay Restaurant in New Brunswick, NJ ("Where Every Day is Mardi Gras"). I believe 973 is NJ. Right, Leslie?

Coffee in the morning i an tired and going to sleep let me know
from a 510 phone number, Saturday, October 18, 1:38 AM

The problem here is that, if 510 is going to sleep, she won't know if Leila wants to do coffee in the morning until it already is the morning. So that could have a real impact on when 510 wakes up. Like, if Leila doesn't want to do coffee in the morning, there's no sense in waking up at 9 AM on a Saturday (when you're not even going to sleep until 1:38 AM). Unless 510 wakes up at like 4 AM to check her text messages, she has a real problem on her hands.

hey guys its kenz c im using my back up fone til my fone is fixed tomorrow
from a 703 phone number, Friday, October 17, 10:14 PM

I don't have a backup phone. Should I? Kenz makes it sound like something that everyone has, obviously. Am I a luddite, after all?

FWD: Hey jane, it's allie. Study group for econ at the motley if youre interested.
from a 603 phone number, Tuesday, October 14, 9:11 PM

I think Jane, Allie, and Leila go to Scripps. Because obviously they're in college, and Scripps is the first college that comes up on Google that has a place called "The Motley." That's my sleuthing work for you.

Hey wat up
from a 310 phone number, Tuesday, October 14, 8:16 PM

Lying around in bed, feeling nauseous, procrastinating on taking out my air conditioner (yes, I know it's October). Wat up with you, 310?