hair color. valentines. craft stuff. patch material. green binding. fruit. english muffins. computer paper. sale games.
from a 970 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 12:37 PM

Best shopping list ever. Here we have a healthy-eating, dyed-hair craftster who likes sale games (whatever those are). Sounds like a cool gal.

come home said mom cause they made food and she wants u home
from a 313 phone number, Friday, January 22, 6:17 PM

I feel like there was a way to convey this same message using one-third as many words. You know?

please go by & check on aunt mary she's not feeling well also there is a present for you on my bed
from a 562 phone number, Friday, January 22, 1:02 PM

on my way
from a 562 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 12:31 PM

need anything from costco
from a 562 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 7:45 PM

You know, I wasn't going to go check on Aunt Mary, because that sounded like a "good deed." But if there's a present for me, then I guess you have bribed me into it.

medicine
from a 207 phone number, Friday, January 22, 9:37 AM

would like to invite Mike to dinner if you wish. spaghetti garlic bread. ready 6-6:30. let me know.
from a 207 phone number, Friday, January 22, 5:00 PM

Mike is one the fence as to whether to join you for dinner. Knowing that there will be spaghetti is neither here nor there. Hearing that there will also, in addition, be garlic bread, is an important factor. But what Mike really wants to know is: Will there be medicine?

would u be terribly upset if i didnt make it to the funeral home. i was getting ready 2 leave but heard roads were really bad with the fog on way 2 RB
from a 314 phone number, Wednesday, january 20, 6:33 PM

No, that's fine. Go ahead. Stay home. Never mind that this is the FUNERAL of someone NEAR AND DEAR to Leila (presumably). If the roads are bad, then by all means! Keep sitting on your couch!

FWD: FWD: FWD:After the tragic Earthquake that striked Haiti on Tuesday phone companies have agreed to donate 25 cents everytime this MSG is sent.
from a 949 phone number, Tuesday, January 19, 6:40 PM

This is NOT true and this text makes me very angry. It's clear from the three "FWD"s at the beginning that people are forwarding this message right and left, believing that they are helping to make things better in Haiti, but that is a lie and forwarding this text message has no impact on anything. If you want to donate one dollar to Haiti, don't forward this chain text to four friends. That's a placebo. If you want to donate money to Haiti, which you should, go to UNICEF and give them your credit card number.

I love sending texts, and I love reading texts, and I love writing about reading texts, but let's get real: None of that saves lives.

Dont throw ur phone!!!
DEREK=HOLLYWOOD
from a 440 phone number, Tuesday, January 19, 6:20 PM

I agree that throwing your phone is generally bad. I don't know whether or not I believe that Derek=Hollywood. I guess that seems as likely as anyone else equalling Hollywood.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala text me ur bro texts me more than u!!
from a 774 phone number, Tuesday, January 19, 3:43 PM

That's because you are boring and needy, and if Leila's bro texts you that often, I have to wonder what's wrong with him.

hey guys. so sorry but i cant print the lyrics. can u guys please do it?
from a 925 phone number, Monday, January 18, 8:40 PM

Sure thing. The lyrics are:

I'm sexy, I'm cute! I'm popular to boot!
I'm bitchin', great hair! The boys all love to stare!
I'm wanted, I'm hot! I'm everything you're not!
I'm pretty, I'm cool! I dominate this school!
Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest!

You're welcome.

I REALLY WANT TO SEE AVATAR AGAIN!
from an 843 phone number, Monday, January 16, 1:19 PM

Seriously, folks, this is killer product placement, and I am providing it all for free. You're welcome, 20th Century Fox.

Sry iff i take so long 2 txt u back. I hert my tumb in s.b. And its hard. I only have 1 finger
from a 201 phone number, Sunday, January 17, 9:16 PM

That is so sad. 201 hurt her thumb (in s.b., whatever that is?), and now she can barely communicate. It's true-- texting on keypad phones is not a sport for index fingers. Without an operable thumb, you're basically a mute.

hey never mind i cant sry ttul im so mad now sry by
from a 336 phone number, Saturday, January 16, 11:58 AM

This raises more questions than it answers. 336 can't do what? And why is she so mad? It doesn't sound like she's so mad at Leila, but will Leila know the cause of 336's anger?

use the wii
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Thursday, January 14, 10:30 AM

we r at the side door where we dropped u off
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Thursday, January 14, 7:01 PM

i am going to be in mtg from 11 to 12. if u need something txt me before or after.
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Friday, January 15, 10:30 AM

hi whats up? in a mtg till 11 but u can txt me
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Monday, January 18, 10:00 AM

Prema's micromanaging of Leila has become downright creepy. Telling Leila exactly where she'll be during every hour of the day? Deciding which video game console Leila should use? Prema, listen, I don't care who Leila is or what your relationship is with her: If you love something, set it free. Set it at least a little free.

I love you so so so so so so so much and wish we were still together forever and ever
from an 865 phone number, Wednesday, January 13, 8:46 PM

Depending on the circumstances, this text could be either really heart-wrenching or really creepy. I'm going to go with heart-wrenching, but, then, I am a romantic.

i am much better than i was. im almost good as new
from a 706 phone number, Wednesday, January 13, 8:40 PM

Ah, I envy you, 706. I have one of those soul-sucking sorts of colds. I am very far from as good as new.

Hey leila the alligator hunt has been canceled. want to go skydiving instead?
from a 917 phone number, Wednesday, January 13, 6:52 PM

I have a lot of trouble believing that this is a real Leila Text, but I'm posting it here just in case.

hayy such a gr8 driver lolz not cough cough
from a 774 phone number, Wednesday, January 13, 4:25 PM

help me
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, January 17, 6:16 PM

help
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, January 17, 6:16 PM

Even though it has been my policy to ignore 774, this "help me" text concerned me enough that I replied with my standard, "your texts are going to me, not to Leila" message. 774 wrote back:

okkkkkk?
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, January 17, 8:05 PM

It wasn't okkkkkk, but I didn't bother to tell her that.

i c u look @ the stairs
from a 774 phone number, Monday, January 18, 10:37 AM

But at least we know her cries for help were not too serious, as she lived to text a new day.

i have the coolest sisstaaa everrrr
from a 732 phone number, Wednesday, January 13, 3:45 PM

I hope that Leila is your sisstaaa and that you are just speaking about her in the third person, because otherwise this text seems like it would come off as pretty braggy. ("Hey, Leila, your sisstaaa is okay, but my sisstaaa is the coolest everrrr!")

What was Nikki yelling about 2nd period, i kinda just tuned her out.
from an 815 phone number, Wednesday, January 13, 3:35 PM

Why was Nikki yelling at me 2nd period? i kinda just tuned her out.
from an 815 phone number, Wednesday, January 13, 4:13 PM

Maybe Nikki was yelling at you because you claim to be her friend, yet you take pride in ignoring her whenever she has something important to tell you. I don't know; just a guess.

The war has officially ended
from an 818 phone number, Tuesday, January 12, 10:20 PM

R u guys up
from an 818 phone number, Saturday, January 16, 1:20 AM

When I got this first text message, I hoped 818 meant the war in Afghanistan. It turned out she did not.