Have you been watching Gossip Girl this season? You're the only one I can go OMF to.
from a 605 phone number, Saturday, February 20, 3:59 PM

No, actually, I have not been watching GG this season, and I am so glad you asked, 605, because I would love to explain why. I watched the first two seasons diligently, and I have been waiting for someone to ask why I quit so that I can rant about it a little. Ideally, the person to ask me would be a CW network exec, but, barring that, some girl from South Dakota will do.

I stopped watching GG for two reasons. ONE, they started showing it at 9pm, and that is too late for me to be out in Manhattan and at a friend's house every Monday night. Watching GG is fulfilling, not in and of itself, but as a social experience. If it's at 9pm, I can't watch it at a friend's house because that is too late at night. And if I can't watch it at a friend's house, than it's not worth watching, because it is not an inherently good show.

TWO, GG completely trashed any continuity in storyline or character sometime during Season Two. It angers me (clearly) that they think they can just take a bunch of beautiful people and throw beautiful clothes on them and I will keep watching. I am not that dumb. The reason why I watched three seasons of the OC was because they were beautiful people in beautiful clothes ACTING IN WAYS CONSISTENT WITH THEIR CHARACTERS. New situations would arise, and Ryan Atwood would always react like Ryan Atwood (i.e. misguidedly violent), and Marisa Cooper would always react like Marisa Cooper (i.e. self-defeatingly). But on Gossip Girl? There is no standard way for Dan Humphrey to respond to things, because he is NOT A REAL CHARACTER. He reacts in whatever way seems easiest and most convenient for the storywriters at that moment.

So, in short: No, 605. I have not been watching Gossip Girl this season. But for some damn good reasons.

U da cacaheaded 1 Donnie
from a 928 phone number, Sunday, February 21, 5:42 PM

We're just all about the insults today, aren't we? Though "You're the caca-headed one" is a little more... unique, I suppose, than simply "suck a dick." "Unique" is the word I'm looking for, isn't it?

Suck a dixl
from a 703 phone number, Sunday, February 21, 2:32 PM

Suck a dick
from a 703 phone number, Sunday, February 21, 2:34 PM

The phrase "suck a dick" is not as easy to spell as you might think.

Father wants you to talk to you. Patience and understanding
from a 786 phone number, Monday, February 15, 3:40 PM

Is this from Leila's superior older sister? Because I have to say, nothing makes me exhibit less patience and understanding than someone telling me that I have to. I'd be all, "God, I knoooooow, I was going to!"

thisisjjwereareyouismamaawak

word surch
-abby-
from a 951 phone number, Sunday, February 14, 5:41 PM

"This is JJ. Where are you? Is Mama awake?"

Did I solve the word search?

Mija ill pick u up when tia carol gets out of bed about ten . Ok
from a 520 phone number, Sunday, February 14, 11:20 AM

"Mija" = a contraction of "mi hija," which is Spanish for "my daughter."
"Tia" = aunt.

See? Fluent, as usual.

I AM USING TXT FOR THE FIRST TIME. WE ARE FREE IF YOU WANT TO GET TOGETHER. LET ME KNOW AMY
from a 508 phone number, Sunday, February 14, 10:25 AM

Uh, Amy? No offense, but it was kind of obvious that you're using txt for the first time. Don't ask me how I knew, I just did.

hey leila. at the beach so reception is not good. cannot come tonight. sorry it keeps being no, but i really need a bit of advance notice. hope u have fun
from an 808 phone number, Saturday, February 13, 9:30 PM

Shot down! 808 is kind of annoyed with Leila and her last-minute invitations. Like, "I'm sorry to keep saying no... but not that sorry, since you never give me any notice, so really you bring this on yourself."

Yesssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from a 717 phone number, Saturday, February 13, 6:22 PM

Did u get my txt message i sed yessssssss!!!!!!!!!!! wich means u can sleepover if it ok with ur dad
from a 717 phone number, Saturday, February 13, 6:46 PM

U left ur pillow here i can bring it 2 u wen we leave wich is soon
from a 717 phone number, Sunday, February 4, 12:54 PM

This is just flat-out adorable. Also I like when I receive a cryptic text (like one that says "yes" with one zillion 's's and exclamation points), and then I receive a follow-up text that clarifies what it refers to. That makes my job easier. Finally, I am glad to see that Leila DID get to sleep over at 717's, even though she never received the text message inviting her.

YEA the strike is over they r going 2 call guys from strike back in 3 periods then probably start on layoff guys & scott is 2nd on layoff list
from a 716 phone number, Saturday, February 13, 10:09 AM

This seems like some highly classified information that we're privy to right here. Like the fact that Scott is about to get laid off. I wonder if he'd getting laid off because he was striking? That's not legal, right? Any other ideas what's going on here?

No i am srry my mom said i might not be able to go okay we might be going somewhere okay i am srry:( :( :(
Ray Ray ; )
from a 262 phone number, Friday, February 12, 7:19 AM

Okay, Ray Ray. Okay. I do want to know where you might not be able to go, and where's the "somewhere" that you have to go to instead. But don't be too srry for not telling me those details. It is okay.

is modern fam on tonight?
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Wednesday, February 10, 8:48 PM

My roommate has also gotten pretty into this show. I hear good things. You know what would really make for a modern family, though? Would be a mother who didn't constantly (and ineffectually) stalk her daughter Leila via text message.

Hi just wanted to remind u to night is prayer meeting. kaylie called and the baby is fine. luv u
from a 229 phone number, Wednesday, February 10, 2:58 PM

The juxtaposition of these sentences implies to me that tonight is prayer meeting, but that Leila should not use this a an opportunity to pray for Kaylie's baby, because that baby is already fine. Go to prayer meeting, but save your prayer chips for a baby who needs them.

Thank you! I love the calendar.
from a 760 phone number, Tuesday, February 9, 11:23 AM

Ugh! I need a new calendar. I've kept this text on my phone for the past few days not because it is so awesome, but to serve as a reminder to myself: Leila. Go buy a calendar. Before it's 2011.

Me for my birthday idk its up to u
-JULEZ-
from a 717 phone number, Sunday, February 7, 6:14 PM

Yerp lol...but yea u dnt have another blunt to roll up another one cuz i got like 3 roaches n u got sum i think we can smoke n watch this movie...
-JULEZ-
from a 717 phone number, Wednesday, February 10, 10:13 AM

From kailey: do u want 2 play in the snow btw: happy b-day i called on thursday but u didnt answer so i left a message
from a 717 phone number, Saturday, February 13, 10:07 AM

Things we know:
Julez's birthday was last week.
Julez "thinks" she and Leila can get high and watch a movie... but she is not certain.

Yo the math is hard and math teacher is not good
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, February 9, 10:42 AM

Yo what is the deal different way to do a single problem today there is like 5, wat.
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, February 9, 10:47 AM

Yo did you get the message @?@
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, February 9, 11:59 AM

I kind of like math problems that can be solved in different ways. That is one of the coolest things about math. But, um, that may not be the response 917 was hoping to get from his Leila.

Hi u rich hereUr mom is driving maniacally to get you in a timely fashion HELP ME
from a 631 phone number, Monday, February 8, 7:00 PM

Unclear why Rich is in a car with Leila’s mom and without Leila. I can’t think of the last time my friend’s mom was driving me without my friend in the car. But, then, I can’t think of the last time a friend’s mom drove me.

Hahhhhaha i lknow im waitibg for him to text me hey
from a 267 phone number, Saturday, February 6, 10:00 PM

LEILA
from a 267 phone number, Saturday, February 6, 10:06 PM

Leila alekberov im gona kill you
from a 267 phone number, Saturday, February 6, 11:10 PM

Are you wqith matt
from a 267 phone number, Sunday, February 7, 6:36 PM

Ahhhhhhhh my phone is actually at my house!
from a 267 phone number, Monday, February 8, 12:51 PM

Maybe this girl? She goes to Penn State, and 267 is a Pennsylvania area code. Why do we think 267 was threatening to kill her Intended Leila, though? And did he ever text her or not? I hope so, but boys can be so lame about that sort of thing.

YOu
from a 516 phone number, Saturday, February 6, 6:05 PM

U
from a 917 phone number, Saturday, February 6, 9:10 PM

Me?

hey wat court r u on?
<3 ci bell
from a 530 phone number, Saturday, February 6, 12:31 PM

hey how did u guys do in ure last match?
<3 ci bell
from a 530 phone number, Saturday, February 6, 8:36 PM

All-day tennis tournament?