Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Hhhhhaaaaa very realistic
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Sunday, April 25, 8:08 PM

Im not going to txt in class its bad
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Sunday, April 25, 9:23 PM

Sorry it wasnt my mom it was markie
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Sunday, April 25, 10:00 PM

Just dropped my fone and almost broke it
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Sunday, April 25, 10:34 PM

I want jcs # cause i want more contacts
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Sunday, April 25, 11:11 PM

Help me!!!!!!!!!
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Monday, April 26, 4:47 PM

Txt me
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Monday, April 26, 4:50 PM

Thats why i did it
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Monday, April 26, 10:17 PM

Hey hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha u smell like cheese
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Monday, April 26, 10:19 PM

Do u still lik jck
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Monday, April 26, 10:29 PM

Were is the game tonorow
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Monday, April 26, 10:43 PM

Wont let me send says invalid destination
Maddy

from a 760 phone number, Monday, April 26, 11:20 PM

i am back can text now
(: Maddy :)

from a 760 phone number, Tuesday, April 27, 9:30 PM

In her text from Sunday, 10:34 PM, Maddy states that she dropped her phone and almost broke it. Unfortunately, Maddy, "almost" isn't quite good enough.
OMG R U WACHIN THE GAME NO THEN WAAAAAACCCCCCHHHHH TTHEE GGAME
from an 818 phone number, Tuesday, April 27, 11:06 PM

I was not watching the game last night, but when I received this text message, I seriously considered it.
Te apuesto q no tienes tiempo para esto: Jesus dio la vida por ti y por mi. Envialo a diez personas y observa lo q pasa en diez minutos.
from a 714 phone number, Wednesday, April 28, 11:06 AM

Chain texts in Spanish are not that different in content from chain texts in English. For all of you who took French in high school:

Something something if you don't have time for this: Jesus gave his life for you and for me. Send this to ten people and see what happens in ten minutes.
So i was going to respond on FB but i am having computer problems. Tues sounds great. I teach at myers park high. Can we meet around 400?
from an 828 phone number, Wednesday, April 28, 4:02 PM

What do we think Leila's relationship is to 828? Obviously they don't know each other very well; Leila doesn't even know where 828 works, and 828 feels that he has to explain his decision to text Leila rather than messaging her via facebook. Only in this modern day and age would a text message (sent to a stranger, no less) seem more personal and forward than a facebook message.
FWD: I will rape u in the butt tyler... Then kill u in ur sleep
from a 704 phone number, Wednesday, April 28, 9:03 PM

Even if this is "just kidding," this is still one of the more terrifying Leila Texts I have ever received.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Work Draining lung at 7 Am. CT Scans in the middle of the night! Biopsy of very large lymph node, ukn. Three dracula types to draw an areterial blood
from a 775 phone number, Friday, April 23, 1:43 AM

work cont. gas. Very painful as they have to find an artery with a strong pulse. Would one of you call Mickey? Thank you very much for being such
from a 775 phone number, Friday, April 23, 1:48 AM

work cont. awesome friends! You can't imagine what it means to me! We will talk tomorrow.
from a 775 phone number, Friday, April 23 1:50 AM

work Busy day! Lung drained, I feel so much better. Echo, waiting for results, finally a CTScan, I now glow in the dark! Waiting for biopsy.
from a 775 phone number, Friday, April 23, 6:13 PM

I don't know whatever happened to 775, because I texted as soon as I woke up on Friday morning to say that Leila has not received these messages. But I hope she is doing okay. This sounds scary.
leila i going 2 start with 5 songs 4 now. were u able to pull forms? let me know when you'd like to meet with lil ole me? lol
from a 213 phone number, Thursday, April 22, 1:34 AM

Maybe 213 and Leila run a chorus, and they need to fill out forms to get the rights to perform certain songs. For example.
charlie wanted me to ask you if you saw the "my first home" show with diana on it. lol i was watching it and was like i think ive seen that chick
from a 703 phone number, Saturday, April 17, 11:33 AM

I didn't realize this was a show, and all I can say is, thank God it's about buying your first home, not renting your first home. Because can you imagine if this was a TV program about 22-year-olds trying to move their parents' discarded furniture into cockroach-infested apartments and bribing their friends with vegan pizza to get them to help lift boxes? Would anyone watch that, or would it just make you feel too self-conscious?
She got crust iN her ears and she was all Picking Them and stuff
from a 413 phone number, Saturday, April 10, 4:51 PM

I feel awful that I'm still posting texts from when I was out of the country... but some of them are so good, I can't NOT post them.
hey girl well i filled out an aplication for ncrest hopefully thay will respnod i would love to work l&d. ive decided to stop talking to that girl kelly
from a 931 phone number, Friday, April 9, 8:32 PM

NCREST is the National Center for Restructuring Education, Schools and Teaching. Presumably the first step in their restructuring will be teaching kids thay "application" is spelled with one "p" and "they" is spelled with an "a."

I know, I know, it's so cliched to make fun of grammar and spelling in text messages, but what can I say? I'm a walking cliche.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Im Soory 4 Acusing u Of calling Me private i love you
from a 413 phone number, Sunday, April 11, 9:24 PM

What kind of accusation is that?

413: "You called me private!"
LEILA: "No, I didn't!"
413: "Yes, you did! How dare you call me private!"

(a few hours later)

413: "Leila, I take it back. I'm sorry for accusing you of calling me private."
LEILA: "Okay good. Because I would never do such a thing to you."
won some loot gambling.. want soup for dinner? ting? or something else?
from a 215 phone number, Tuesday, April 13, 5:28 PM

You won some loot gambling and you're offering to splurge on soup? What did you win, $1.47?
ehh bruthha mann....bring my fone to the bus after skul if its vharged ... i gotta call coach lance before he goes to workk...kay kay shooties...
from an 808 phone number, Tuesday, April 13, 6:47 PM

Apparently "shooties" is an incredibly esoteric slang word that means "bye." But only ten people on Urban Dictionary seem to know about it!

Also, why 808 thinks Leila is a "bruthha" or a "mann" is beyond me.
Danielle had the baby
from a 704 phone number, Wednesday, April 14, 6:43 AM

Good for Danielle! My friend Jess has a baby due today. But she, unlike Danielle, has NOT had the baby. We are growing impatient here.
Can i borro $40
~love, zorana.

from an 804 phone number, Tuesday, April 13, 2:16 PM

Hey erica wanna knw do richmond dermatology takes southern health insurance...?
from an 804 phone number, Tuesday, April 13, 4:13 PM

Y r u not answering me?
from an 804 phone number, Tuesday, April 13, 4:59 PM

Can i borrow $40..
from an 804 phone number, Tuesday, April 13, 6:26 PM

I know i said id return the money to u last night but can i borrow it til thursday next week? I need gas.
from an 804 phone number, Wednesday, April 14, 11:27 AM

Deadbeat.
Get a life!!
from a 757 phone number, Wednesday, April 14, 7:53 PM

What, you mean transcribing thousands of strangers' text messages doesn't count as a life?
Beware of the fox!!!! Lmao
from an 845 phone number, Wednesday, April 14, 11:38 PM

Probably a really hysterical inside joke, if you're Leila.
Get dovid workin papers. please n Thanx.
from a 718 phone number, Wednesday, April 21, 9:57 AM

Totally, because getting someone working papers is just that easy. While you're at it, get me a visa for Cuba and EU citizenship. please n Thanx.
Susies in labor!! Can u imagine what shell do when he realises its not his?
from a 980 phone number, Wednesday, April 21, 7:14 PM

I do not for one instant believe this is an actual misdirected text message, but I'll post it here, anyway, as proof of the lengths people will go to in trying to test if Leila Texting really works.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

just got the jersey.. too small and looks like shit. damn
from a 215 phone number, Thursday, April 15, 2:08 PM

It's unclear to me whether 215 just received a sports jersey that is too small a size and looks like shit... or whether 215 is making lodging some criticism at New Jersey, like maybe there is a cocktail named "the Jersey" and it, like the state (supposedly), is too small and looks like shit. You know, like ordering a Manhattan at a bar or whatever.

These both seem like reasonable explanations to me.