Stans gonna have some diamonds from north carolina as special guests tonight
from 571 phone number, Friday, July 30, 9:39 AM EST

Is this or is this not a very cryptic was of saying that Stan is going to propose tonight?

I wanna go home :(
from a 281 phone number, Saturday, July 31, 2:12 PM EST

A classic summer camp text message! (Except for how you're not allowed cell phones at camp.)

The nurses that they give us,
They say they’re mighty fine,
But if you break a finger, they'll break the other nine!

Oh, I don’t wanna go to Girl Scout camp!
Gee Mom, I wanna go,
But they won’t let me go,
Gee Mom, I wanna go home!

This what im going to tell andrew: She said that she doesnt like lying to her friends and she cant take it anymore
from a 757 phone number, Saturday, July 31, 5:56 PM EST

She has been having an affair with Andrew, but lying to her friends and telling them that she's not. She can't take it anymore. 757 has been charged with breaking this news to Andrew. No, I don't know why.

Hey did Jenny find her glasses?? did dad fix the car??
from a 315 phone number, Saturday, July 31, 6:56 PM EST

My friend Emily's theory: "Probably there was a car crash, and in it Jenny lost her glasses. But they already know that Jenny herself wasn't hurt, or they would be asking about that, too."

Seems as likely as anything else.

R u doing bible contest
from a 216 phone number, Sunday, August 1, 10:48 PM EST

Nope. And you know why? Because I know that I would lose. And, in general, I try not to enter contests that I'm guaranteed to lose.

Hey sweetie cutie baby cakes!!! Hope ur havin a good day at work honey =) love u < 3
from an 856 phone number, Tuesday, July 27, 2:20 PM EST

Sometimes someone gets really clingy, and you start to feel like, "Babe, I know you love me, but it's getting a little creepy."

hellooooooooooo
from an 805 phone number, Friday, July 23, 2:46 PM EST

my mom says u can drive ahead cuz my dad wants my mom to drive slower so ya and lindseys my girl damit
from an 805 phone number, Sunday, July 25, 11:04 PM EST

Bullshit. Lindsey's my girl. (Cue Monica/Brandy "That Boy Is Mine" duet.)

Hey bab waht up when are yu going tocome back guees who i am
from a 516 phone number, Sunday, July 25, 7:53 PM EST

I guees that you are Leila's illiterate sort-of friend. Is that right? Am I close?

Dear Leila "Hi." When do I get dinner? Is it contingent on the comic?
from a 303 phone number, Sunday, July 25, 803 PM EST

I wish this one were for me. For some reason I find the unnecessary quotation marks hilarious, and I bet this 303 has a charming sense of humor.

hi I am at Marisa's game melting something awful...I truly hate the heat...They r winning 8 to 5..
from a 203 phone number, Saturday, July 24, 3:52 PM EST

You know, I do feel bad for 203, having to sit outside in this heat (and I agree, it has been HOT). But I feel worse for Marisa. She has to run around in it!

brian call me wanted 2 no if i had any thoughts 4 grandma birthday party
from a 301 phone number, Saturday, July 24, 12:44 PM EST

I propose a pinata and shots of Jameson.

gracias por darme la opurtunidad a ir a la escuela de LWA maharba
from a 516 phone number, Friday, July 23, 6:41 PM EST

"Thank you for giving me the opportunity to go to the school of LWA something." Sort of.

I just paid off my credit card so i am tapped out right at the moment. But thank you so much for remembering me. I do want go sometime
from a 904 phone number, Friday, July 23, 6:16 PM EST

I love you. Hope to see you soon
from a 904 phone number, Friday, July 23, 6:17 PM EST

Go where? I haven't just paid off MY credit card! I'll go!

Leila I never thought you would have hated me like you do I always told you the truth we were always spent our birthdays together yesterday was no
from an 803 phone number, Friday, July 23, 5:22 PM EST

So I texted this woman back to say that Leila didn't get her text and she should resend it by pulling Leila's name out of her contacts list. Then she replied as follows:

Who is this please tell Leila I love you
from an 803 phone number, Friday, July 23, 5:29 PM EST

It occurred to me that she wasn't exactly getting the picture. So I called her. We proceeded to have a maybe ten-minute conversation in which I tried, hopelessly, to explain why Leila wasn't getting her texts, and that, no, I did not know Leila, and Leila was not here with me, and Leila may have been avoiding her, or she may simply have not received her texts. For whatever it's worth, 803 is Leila's mother, and she lives in South Carolina. I never got her name.

DUDE THAT CAMCORDER IS AROUND $250 ON EBAY! AHHHH!
from a 336 phone number, Friday, July 23, 4:54 PM EST

AHHHH THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY! OR MAYBE A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR A CAMCORDER! I DON'T KNOW, I HAVEN'T BOUGHT A CAMCORDER RECENTLY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgDanZBJtsE&feature=youtube_gdata
from an 803 phone number, Friday, July 23, 3:59 PM EST

This is the URL for the video for the Official Remix of a song called Nina Bonita. Why this has been sent to me, I still don't know. Here's a link, if you want to experience the joy along with me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgDanZBJtsE&feature=youtube_gdata.

I guess she means tomorrow,.

FWD: Hey hun. What r u doing? I'm in a big jam and don't know what to do. I'm down a sitter 2moro.
7:30-12:00(around).
from an 860 phone number, Thursday, July 22, 8:05 PM EST

I like how 860 has to clarify that, when whoever sent her this text wrote "2moro," she might have meant "tomorrow." It was so unclear.

Wylie 2 publish bks .
from an 847 phone number, Thursday, July 22, 6:38 PM EST

Ebooks & co. 2 b called odyssey
from an 847 phone number, Thursday, July 22, 10:17 PM EST

This is weird for me because I work in book publishing-- like, that is my real job, other than receiving misdirected text messages-- so I am accustomed to hearing updates on the publishing world like these. I'm just not accustomed to getting them by text message.

I was wondering if you would like to meet me for a glass of wine tomorrow early evening say, 7 00 at Stella's ? Also, I would love to give Tori a lesson
from a 949 phone number, Thursday, July 22, 1:00 AM EST

This is one of those people whose texts never clock in at fewer than 160 characters. You can just tell.

hi im not ignoring your call its just that i return calls when im driving alone and the past few days Kays been helping us on a deck job so i couldnt call
from a 714 phone number, Thursday, July 22, 12:50 AM EST

First text got full i didnt even get to finish anyway i hope your well and happy
from a 714 phone number, Thursday, July 22, 12:55 AM EST

Okay, that seems like a fair explanation. The reason why I'm ignoring your text is not the same as the reason why you're ignoring Leila's call.