Hey my mom wanted to get some party light things so she wanted to know if she could get your moms number
from a 360 phone number, Saturday, September 18, 12:29 PM EST

Why would anyone ever want to party light? I want to party hard!

Merci, han hoet au tanze, hoffe blamiere mi ned… ond du hesch aues parat foerd schuel?
from a 651 phone number, Tuesday, September 7, 3:26 PM EST

I am stymied. This isn't French, other than the "merci." A few words in here are German, but not that many. None of it is Portuguese. What IS this?

In case you ever wondered what it means to be the recipient of the Leila Texts, it basically means that I spend a lot of my life on Babelfish.

Leila its Cassidy go on youtube and type in tails of adventure slideshow. i think youll like it!
from an 865 phone number, Monday, September 6, 5:19 PM EST

Here is what you find when you type in "tails of adventure slideshow." It is more or less exactly what I would be doing right now, if I were 12 years old.

hey girl wtf
from a 770 phone number, Monday, September 6, 4:10 PM EST

This calls to mind a classic text message invented many years ago by me and my best friend Allie. Some boy had acted toward me in a way that was totally baffling, and we determined that I should send him a text that said, simply, "wtf i hate you." I never did it, but only because I was scared, not because he didn't deserve it. I'm glad to see someone out there (770) has the balls to say what I never could. Sort of.

Boys suck. they dont listen or care. jeff is out of town weekend of 17th of sept i will be by myself.
from an 843 phone number, Friday, September 10, 9:14 PM EST

Boys do suck, that is true. But going out of town for a week is not the primary reason why.

R u still celebrating yer holiday?
MICHAELA :)
from a 260 phone number, Friday, September 10, 4:42 PM EST

Yes. Michaela, it is sundown to sundown. 4:42 PM does not sundown make. This is true of all Jewish holidays, so best to just learn it now.

Is it Monday night?
from a 301 phone number, Friday, September 10, 11:32 AM EST

I know, like, will this weekend never end?

Guess what i m part i m in the nutcracker
from an 850 phone number, Thursday, September 9, 5:55 PM EST

Clara! I hope Clara.

What services r u going 2
from a 216 phone number, Wednesday, September 8, 3:09 PM EST

Oh, yes: Shana Tova!

I FIND IN RM A VERY SM PAPER SAYS LETYOURMANNERS SPEAK YOURDEEDS PROVE AND YOUR DELIVERY IMPRESS FUGINOKO GONE WILLBETHOUGHTFUL RESPECT
I T A L Y
from an 808 phone number, Wednesday, September 8, 2:36 AM EST

Totally.

meet me at the mall at 5?
from an 802 phone number, Wednesday, September 1, 11:15 AM EST

Remember when the mall used to be a super-cool place and you were always arranging to meet your friends there? That was a great social scene.

Hi dear i called afsaneh twice there was no answer i left message each time do you think i cal her again?
from a 409 phone number, Wednesday, September 1, 6:19 PM EST

No, I think you can text or email her, but I think at this point you've done the phone thing to death. Some people just don't check voicemail. Afsaneh may be one of them.

Just found a rotten chicken sandwich in my loader pew nasty
from a 757 phone number, Thursday, September 2, 9:11 AM EST

I have to wonder what 757's relationship is to Leila that she felt compelled to share this with her. Maybe Leila is really interested in rotten food?

We r planning a cookout at shelleys house on saturday.
from a 727 phone number, Friday, September 3, 8:16 AM EST

Wooooo happy Labor Day weekend!

i hate leila
from a 770 phone number, Friday, September 3, 6:19 PM EST

Oh yeah? Well I hate YOU.

Send me a picture of him please
from a 203 phone number, Saturday, September 4, 8:57 AM EST

Yeah. Pics or it didn't happen.

today is my sister, Mari's birthday. Wats kraka-lackn
from a 302 phone number, Tuesday, August 31, 7:26 AM EST

As you are likely aware if you read this blog a lot, I hate it when people text Leilas to say simply "whats up." I guess it's a little better when they throw in some spice and say "Wats kraka-lackn." A LITTLE better.

Maman joon i am testing my new fon tell me if u got my mssge
from a 310 phone number, Tuesday, August 31, 1:17 PM EST

Considering the number of misspellings in this text, I guess it's most likely that 310 is trying to say "Mama and Joon." But what I prefer to believe is that 310 is French, and he calls his mother maman. Is that so much to hope for?

poop! yay!
from a 610 phone number, Tuesday, August 31, 7:13 PM EST

The Leila Texts started going downhill around the same time that they started giving cell phones to five year olds.

wAht
I am awsome
from a 978 phone number, Tuesday, August 31, 9:14 PM EST

No false modesty here, folks!