a little late...but finally on my way home
from a 520 phone number, Wednesday, March 2, 8:11 PM EST

Dad kust texted he was coming home tonight cause he wanted to cause his daughters live here. = asked him directed text u two...I doubt he will tho.
from a 520 phone number, Sunday, March 6, 6:27 PM EST

Dad sounds like a bit of a deadbeat, but I think his heart is in the right place.

no reply from sally yet I ll call her in the morning if she cant get you baba will work it out Tell baba to ask bababoz if he is free tomorrow to get y
from a 425 phone number, Tuesday, March 8, 12:49 AM EST

sally will take you after school she will take you to sees or home when claire goes to cheer love you
from a 425 phone number, Tuesday, March 8, 10:52 AM EST

Sally to the rescue! Thank God. I wasn't in to the idea of Leila being deserted at school while Claire goes to cheer.

Did u check in
from a 603 phone number, Tuesday, March 8, 7:49 AM EST

No. You know why? Because I don't have Foursquare. Why? Because I don't have a smartphone. Why? Because I need to have a dumbphone in order to RECEIVE LEILA TEXTS. So that is why I didn't check in. These are the sacrifices I make for my "art."

I mite not go to scul today i think im gettin the stumich flu boo hooo
from a 925 phone number, Tuesday, March 8, 10:11 AM EST

925, I would suggest that you rethink that decision. I know you might be throwing up or whatever, but I just really think you could use some time at school. I mean, scul.

I think you'd make a wonderful physician leila. i just want you to make yourself happy. we only get this one life so why waste it
from a 203 phone number, Friday, March 4, 9:55 PM EST

These are wise words which we could all stand to heed. I mean, not the part about bow Leila would make a wonderful physician. But the rest of it.

Not sure but either way shell hav to meet me at argo cuz im going there in an hr
from a 516 phone number, Friday, March 4, 3:39 PM EST

OMG, are we talking about ARGO TEA? My favorite TEA CHAIN? Have I mentioned how I have a LoyalTea Card there? (This is a real thing.) Argo used to be only in Chicago, so when I moved to NYC I missed it a great deal, but now it is also in NYC, which means I keep going into the Argo and gushing at the unimpressed college-aged baristas, "I'm just so glad you're HERE!"

Leilaaa ask your mom if you can go to the game now bcs when you ask last minute she changes her mind
from a 224 phone number, Friday, March 4, 11:05 AM EST

Maybe this is just me, but I HATE these sorts of friends, who you have to micromanage. Like, "Hey, Leila, ask your mom for permission now instead of waiting to the last second like you usually do!" "If you're coming over for a sleepover tonight, you have to figure out who is going to drive you." "You should leave your house now in order to meet me half an hour from now." Like, why can't people figure this out on their own?

Is this just me?

Sweetheart?what was the name of the pills u gave me last night?im in duanereade.do u need anything from here?
from a 347 phone number, Thursday, March 3, 7:19 PM EST

Oxycontin.

I can has cigarette tomorrowww?
from a 772 phone number, Thursday, March 2, 2:39 PM EST

Society: 772 has just hit upon a brilliant idea for a blog. It will be like "I Can Haz Cheeseburger," only it will be about people can hazing cigarettes. GET ON IT, the Internet.

WE HAVE 5 DANCES IN BETWEEN JAZZ AND TAP
from a 315 phone number, Thursday, March 3, 7:47 AM EST

My heart goes out to the parents of young dancers. The bit where they have to sit in an auditorium and watch five groups of strangers' kids dance in between their own daughter's jazz and tap dances? Miserable.

My parents used to have to attend my gymnastics meets, which is like that, except maybe even worse, since my routines totaled about five minutes out of about eight hours. I didn't feel bad for them at the time, however. I just assumed they WANTED to watch me.

We are confirmed for 11am schoenberg panel!
from a 323 phone number, Wednesday, March 2, 10:56 PM EST

Presumably a panel about composer Arnold Schoenberg. Or, possibly, not.

please put that black cape of mine over that laptop. gracie and all others leave that one hooked up.....they just cover them up.
from a 706 phone number, Wednesday, March 2, 12:58 PM EST

This is a good plan because thieves are characterologically incapable of lifting capes to see if they conceal valuable goods.

Hey how is vegas???
from an 801 phone number, Tuesday, March 1, 12:57 AM EST

Uncannily like the film Ocean's 11. Weird, right?

message I just got fromm Dad FWD: good. i owe you a trip to jail. i'll track this down tomorrow. your txt says you used a debit card. interesting.
from a 520 phone number, Tuesday, March 1, 12:41 AM EST

I just googled the phrase "I owe you a trip to jail," in quotation marks, to determine if that's a thing that people often say to each other. Answer: No.

Gangsta won bulls 3
from a 757 phone number, Sunday, February 27, 9:38 PM EST

Sports scores? I have no idea. Guys, more helpful than sports scores right now would be some updates on the Oscars. They're going on right now, you know. SOMEONE has to be watching. Don't they want to text their friends named Leila about it?

Hey its true. His nose is all round
from an 832 phone number, Sunday, February 27, 3:47 PM EST

I also noticed that sometimes wen desmonds looks down he gets a double chin
from an 832 phone number, Sunday, February 27, 3:56 PM EST

Ha ha, oh man these girls know a lot of deformed boys.

Playing wuth my moms dresses
from an 818 phone number, Saturday, February 26, 11:58 PM EST

Texts from a Very Young Drag Queen.

GREAT workshop by my account. I hope the students agree. Thanks a million addles of noodles for you support in makin' it happen! Look forward to more. Xo
from a 267 phone number, Saturday, February 26, 7:32 PM EST

Can I come next time? I want to go to a great workshop, please.

Ariana is beeing real mean!!
from a 347 phone number, Saturday, February 26, 5:54 PM EST

I'm sorry, 347, but I can't help you here. You are going to have to fight this battle on your own.

Yo best sleepover ever i luv u
from a 347 phone number, Friday, February 25, 10:36 AM EST

So i just asked my mom over the phone were i was born and she said mermanmadies hospital in brooklyn not manhatten soooo woopsie.im a bk girl so ha eat it
from a 347 phone number, Saturday, Febraury 26, 2:42 PM EST

Totally, 347, you are a b-girl. You like to sit on your stoop and attend loft parties.

I live in Brooklyn and even I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about here.