steve said Jim was kind of a dick. carnival barker, talks over people even over Sesh.
from a 561 phone number, Wednesday, June 15, 8:54 PM EST

Hahaha I have never before called a loud, obnoxious talked a "carnival barker." But now I will!

I have a major Drs sppt at 3:00 in Washington for thyroid ck up. I can help in morning before I have appt. Let me know how we can manage. xo
from a 301 phone number, Wednesday, June 15, 11:18 PM EST

"Major doctor's appointment" never sounds good. I hope it goes okay, 301!

Feel better....b-b-q and swim here on Sunday.
from a 610 phone number, Thursday, June 16, 7:22 PM EST

Like I just said, summer is da bomb.

so hows us summer goin?
summer is da bomb
from a 330 phone number, Thursday, June 16, 7:34 PM EST

Well, I had a margarita with dinner tonight. So, yeah. I agree. Summer is da bomb.

I found out the differeance! Medical has more THC than regular
from an 860 phone number, Saturday, June 11, 10:08 PM EST

Drugs.

Dangit! leila im soooooo bored! i hav 2 b in this stupid day care again cuz my dad is at the gym! T_T
from a 951 phone number, Sunday, June 12, 1:20 PM EST

I had not realized that neglectful body builders were giving cell phones to their four year olds, but I guess that makes sense.

i getting hair color do you want me to pick a colr to highlight your hair with. seriously
(you dont wanna be me)
from a 585 phone number, Thursday, June 9, 4:24 PM EST

Seriously, you say? Okay, then. Yes. Red. Or, like, not quite red. Auburn.

Leila you rule and i suck really badly. You may hit me as hard as you like. I love you so much
from a 415 phone number, Thursday, Junr 9, 1:54 PM EST

This relationship makes me highly uncomfortable.

She dosent like in the first place. I as ugly as s***
from a 302 phone number, Thursday, June 9, 12:31 PM EST

If she doesn't like you just because you are ugly as shit, then she is just shallow. You deserve better.

2 T sugar 1 cup half n half 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract. half cu course salt in a gallon bag fill halfway and shake.
from an 805 phone number, Wednesday, June 8, 4:34 PM EST

This could be the final exam in cooking school. Like, "I'll give you this recipe. You tell me what dish it makes." My best guess is... Sweet n Salty Half n Half. Delish.

Larry cleaned the pool if the girls want to go swimming.
from a 912 phone number, Sunday, May 29, 1:39 PM EST

HELL YES the girls want to go swimming! It's like 90 degrees outside!

Now, if only I had a pool for Larry to clean for me...

did she introduce her boy friend whats he like
from a 425 phone number, Sunday, May 29, 9:43 PM EST

Tall, dark, and handsome.

Just kidding. The odds are against that. He's probably medium-height and acne-scarred, like the rest of us.

Are you coming to my party on Saterday? Please reply soon! :)
UnicornsPoop2
from a 701 phone number, Monday, May 30, 12:09 PM EST

Ah, but do unicorns poop too? Do we know that for a fact?

Can u com ova
from an 858 phone number, Monday, May 30, 1:41 PM EST

Literally 3/4 of this text message is spelled incorrectly. SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT. It's a wonder we can even parse his meaning.

Hi Leila. I forgot to take Christopher sheets out of the dryer downstairs. Can u please get them from the dryer. I am sorry ;(
from a 908 phone number, Tuesday, May 31, 9:12 AM EST

This is reminding me that I, too, have sheets in the dryer. Much like Christopher. I have been postponing getting them by updating the Leila Texts. I am that kind of lazy.

Good morning. Are you planning on transporting your child CLC class this summer on Tuesday and Thursday? I see that they are signed up but attendance
from an 858 phone number, Tuesday, May 31, 11:05 AM EST

Is not mandatory
from an 858 phone number, Tuesday, May 31, 11:06 AM EST

That'd be College of Lake County classes. At least, I think it is?

Congratulations ?! Well done?
from an 843 phone number, Wednesday, June 1, 8:51 AM EST

Thank you??

fufu FWd....no need juice. we going wit water only. if they like juice they can get from their own tent.
from an 808 phone number, Thursday, June 2, 3:43 AM EST

Yeah! Let them suffer! That is what it means to live in the WILD.

U buster how dear u foret about me i will never forgive this bad u r
from a 973 phone number, Thursday, June 2, 9:02 AM EST

This would sound a lot more menacing if it were written in actual English sentences.

R u mad at me
< 3Me R H8 Me Im A Real CntryGrl
from an 803 phone number, Friday, June 3, 3:41 PM EST

Am I mad at you that your sig line is "Heart me or Hate Me, I'm a Real Country Girl"? No, I don't think mad is exactly the word I'm looking for...