Roll tide roll.
from a 205 phone number, Monday, January 9, 11:24 PM ESTM

Go University of Alabama athletics, especially football!

I miss you so much mom by the way this is rachael speaking
from a 662 phone number, Monday, January 9, 10:35 PM EST

Mom did ypu get my message
from a 662 phone number, Monday, January 9, 10:38 PM EST

I mean she threw up this morning
from a 662 phone number, Monday, January 9, 10:54 PM EST

I was laughing in mr graves class and he said that he would call you
from a 662 phone number, Saturday, January 14, 1:54 PM EST

Missing your mom, getting in trouble in Mr. Graves' class, and vomit, all adds up to a pretty crappy week for poor Rachael.

I LOST MY IPOD
from a 541 phone number, Tuesday, January 10, 7:07 PM EST

Hi can u get my ipod from carla
from a 541 phone number, Wednesday, January 11, 9:48 AM EST

CRISIS AVERTED.

Hi can you send me a pic of malia i want to see her?
from a 407 phone number, Wednesday, January 11, 4:30 PM EST

Easy. That's what the internet is for.

Funny. U have a migrain and i think i have aconcussion. I fell and banged my head on the sink and almost went to hospital.
from a 917 phone number, Thursday, January 12, 1:32 PM EST

What a goddamn one-upper. "You have a migraine? Big deal. I MAYBE HAVE A CONCUSSION!" I feel like I just got a text message from Penelope.

Moriah Jan.22nd
Ciera April26th
David Jan.28th

Right!
from an 828 phone number, Thursday, January 12, 2:32 PM EST

Happy almost-birthday, Moriah and David! (Leila, you might want to get on buying those birthday presents. Now.)

Haha wow :P but apparently u can have fun with "the animal" and do anything at the same time :P
from a 908 phone number, Thursday, January 12, 3:55 PM EST

See, unlike "HAVE A BLESSED DAY!" this is a great use of quotation marks.

I bet you're having a blast!
"HAVE A BLESSED DAY!"
from a 540 phone number, Friday, January 13, 10:15 AM EST

When she puts "HAVE A BLESSED DAY!" in quotation marks like that-- whom exactly is she quoting?

Mike and leila together for ever...lol
from a 315 phone number, Sunday, January 15, 1:01 PM EST

Stop and pose
from a 315 phone number, Sunday, January 15, 1:01 PM EST

Hi i left myhand thing at you house
from a 315 phone number, Monday, January 16, 3:32 PM EST

Mike and I are not together forever, and you will not get your hand thing back until you take that back. TAKE IT BACK!

I think she was lieing but she said if u stay with her then she will buy us something
from a 714 phone number, Monday, January 16, 8:13 PM EST

"Okay, she was probably lying, but what if you agreed to stay with her and she bought us both iPods?! Wouldn't that be worth it? I mean, I know her house is filled with bedbugs. And she's lying. But just think about the bit where we might get something for free."

I'll see if I can tonight depends on what time I get done with work I'm closing lunch otherwise let's grab some drinks this weekend if u have time
from a 480 phone number, Wednesday, January 4, 5:17 PM EST

I bet 480 is a good waitress. I bet she doesn't do things like spill soup on people or drop glasses, which is pretty much what I would do, if anyone ever made the mistake of hiring me to work in a restaurant.

Mr.conklin is gonna txt you ok love you so much
from an 845 phone number, Thursday, January 5, 10:24 AM EST

Hey pal..i got the word yesterday you are coming back on monday...thats not cool..if i have to be here with these kids...well so do you...miss u
from an 845 phone number, Thursday, January 5, 10:27 AM EST

Yeah, Leila, enough playing hooky. Take some Tums, shoot some nasal spray, and get back into that classroom. DYJ. (That's cool-kid slang for "do your job," fyi.)

DID U GET 11 THROUGH 14
from a 650 phone number, Thursday, January 5, 6:58 PM EST

YES.
BUT I WON'T TELL YOU THE ANSWERS.
NO MATTER HOW THREATENING YOUR CAPS LOCK MAY BE.

Mom has adrienne had a baby yet? Dont forget daddys motorcycle that i painted at color me mine
from a 662 phone number, Thursday, January 5, 7:24 PM EST

Color Me Mine is a paint your own pottery studio. So, no, 662 didn't actually buy and paint her father a motorcycle. I assume it looks something like this, only painted:

my dad had a pool wen he ws yg he went inside to go to the bathroom and he saw a light socket stuck his finger in it!he wnt os and said mom wat des it mean
from a 978 phone number, Friday, January 6, 6:40 AM EST

Is this a real story or an urban legend or what? Snopes, what's the deal here?

I just saw your message about leila being excited about playing at jessies...i feel bad! If he wasn't laying around so much i would just give him med and
from a 978 phone number, Friday, January 6, 8:00 AM EST

What I'm hearing you say is that you'd be fine with Leila coming over to play and catching Jessie's flu. Your sole concern is that he might just lie around the whole time, and that would be boring for Leila. Nice parenting there, 978.

Hey what up what are you going to say to tje boy i like
from a 208 phone number, Friday, January 6, 10:27 AM EST

To the boy you like, I am going to say something like, "Never hook up with 208. She'll only use you. For your money."

Maybe you should ask one of your other friends to talk to him instead.

leila r u going skating today:)
Christalynn
from a 530 phone number, Sunday, January 8, 4:01 PM EST

Every winter, somebody asks Leila to go skating. I almost never say yes, though. I have pretty weak ankles.

Hey wats up aydins birthday is today r u coming over his house? i missed u when ur mom came and u dident its merki
from a 917 phone number, Saturday, January 7, 10:36 AM EST

Kids of the Google Generation have such crazy names. "Aydin"? "Merki"? "Leila"?

The 11th won't work 4 me so I'm thinking about a catalog party instead. I'm in the foothills & either my husband or I should be here today or tomorrow.
from a 928 phone number, Saturday, January 7, 12:16 PM EST

I googled it, but I still don't know exactly what a catalog party is. It sounds like the "hostess" calls up a bunch of her friends/acquaintances and tries to sell them shit from a catalog. As best I can tell, no one comes over to your house, no one eats all the crudite, and no one winds up making out with a stranger in the coat closet, so it's not really clear to me why this counts as a "party" at all.