Skatetown USA is "the Tri State's Premier Roller Skating Facility." And when you visit their website, it immediately starts playing a pump-up skate-time jam by Taio Cruz. Consider yourself warned.

You can leave Ryan at home, but I should warn you that my babysitting rates are pretty steep. Especially when Brent's not there.

I hope it's something like a pretty news dress, and not something boring like new covers for my patio furniture. Or maybe if I had patio furniture, that wouldn't seem so boring.

Okay yes I will go out with you. As any of my exes can tell you, I am a sucker for poetry.

Christopher is truly a wunderkind.

Are we ordering pizza?! For $3 each, we should each get two slices. I am so ready to eat my two slices.

"Why? I don't know, just 'cause. Not because I stole $20 from my mom's wallet and blamed it on my brother or anything like that."

Thanks, that was all it took to cure Leila's seasonal affect disorder.

I LOVE HOT CHOCOLATE! And french toast. And bagels. Man, I really did miss out.

Okay, guys, I just got an iPhone, so I am attempting to make this a "modern blog" filled with "modern text messages." It's tough going, though. I can't even figure out how to talk on my iPhone, let alone edit images and then type up snarky commentary about them. Just bear with me while I get the hang of this.

It's a brave new world.

Hi! kathy hill just called me to confirm her second consult visit for tomorrow at christophers. Is it okay for her to come. I know we were going to
from a 781 phone number, Wednesday, February 29, 6:45 PM EST

Finish the eval. Should i change her visit with her?
from a 781 phone number, Wednesday, February 29, 6:46 PM EST

How awkward to schedule two dates on top of each other. What a social faux pas.

Emergency rm w mb. Fell backwards. Hit head. Cat scan ekg. All ok i think. Precaution. Xoxm
from an 847 phone number, Thursday, March 1, 11:55 PM EST

werlein Mb lving emerg hosp post backward fall. We r pooped. Xox m
from an 847 phone number, Friday, March 2, 2:34 AM EST

I hope MB is doing okay. That sounds like a scary fall.

P.S. This is from the same 847 as always, obviously.

So srry for the lotion its ok
from s 541 phone number, Sunday, February 26, 11:41 PM EST

LAUGHMYF*****a**off
from a 541 phone number, Saturday, March 3, 1:48 PM EST

Heather asked if i like you i said as a friend yes
from a 541 phone number, Saturday, March 3, 1:55 PM EST

Still more from this guy. Who now, we learn, likes Leila "as a friend." Sorry to break this to you, but friends don't text friends every seven minutes. I think Heather is on to something.

Atassi Awe ....This was in my archives. FWD: I just started feeling flutters in my belly! Definitely not gas! :o)
from a 440 phone number, Saturday, February 25, 9:04 PM EST

Intended for this Leila. She's a reporter! That's a cool profession for another Leila to have.

Since u r busy n didnt buy da torbo tax yet I ask dad if she can help u out to do der taxes.
from an 808 phone number, Friday, February 24, 6:24 PM EST

Ugh. Thanks for this reminder about doing my taxes, 808. Just what I was in the mood for.

Hi how r u im awesome
from a 323 phone number, Wednesday, February 22, 10:01 AM EST

I'm pretty good, but now I don't really feel comfortable saying that, since 323 has set the bar so high with her "awesome."

Do you still have leftover antibiotic?
from a 615 phone number, Tuesday, February 21, 4:07 PM EST

People love to use the Leila Texts for drug deals. It gets old.

Its billy
~ DaS WaSsUp ~ =D =P
from an 808 phone number, Wednesday, February 22, 9:01 PM EST

Where r u? ur usually always at school early!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from an 808 phone number, Thursday, February 23, 12:18 PM EST

Can i copy ur hw plllleeeeaaassseeee!!!!!!!!! ur math hw!!!!!!
from an 808 phone number, Friday, February 24, 1:42 PM EST

Have u txted brandon lately? cuz i still have his number lol!
from an 808 phone number, Friday, February 24, 8:25 PM EST

I think if you're going to illegally copy someone's homework, you probably don't want a paper trail about it. Or even a text trail.

WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP!!!
from a 541 phone number, Saturday, February 25, 11:12 PM EST

You home im going to justice so in about 1 hours or 2 kk bye
from a 541 phone number, Sunday, February 26, 4:29 PM EST

1 hour or 2 we can play kk bye
from a 541 phone number, Sunday, February 26, 4:30 PM EST

Heyy
from a 541 phone number, Sunday, February 26, 6:32 PM EST

LAUGHMYF****a**off
from a 541 phone number, Sunday, February 26, 6:36 PM EST

Hi its ok about the lotion dont worry
from a 541 phone number, Sunday, February 26, 9:33 PM EST

Kinda curious to know what Leila did with the lotion. Is it really okay?