Salu on est entrain de manger
from a 702 phone number, Wednesday, September 19, 2:07 PM
I ran this message through Babelfish, French to English (although this may or may not actually be French). Babelfish translated the phrase as "Salu one is spirit to eat."
I can't decide if it makes more sense in English or in French. Maybe I should run it through again, like in Swedish to English, and see if that makes it any clearer.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
FWD: FWD: Me w/out you is like a camera w/ no flash, a car w/ no gas, a stripper w/ no ass & a pimp w/ no cash send 2 all your friends
from a 626 phone number, Thursday, September 20, 10:04 PM
Some B-average 10th grader out there is right now thinking, "Yes! I am a POET! Cell phone users across the nation are reading MY POETRY! I am like the POET LAUREATE of cell phones!"
Who are we to disabuse the poor tyke of her illusions?
from a 626 phone number, Thursday, September 20, 10:04 PM
Some B-average 10th grader out there is right now thinking, "Yes! I am a POET! Cell phone users across the nation are reading MY POETRY! I am like the POET LAUREATE of cell phones!"
Who are we to disabuse the poor tyke of her illusions?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Hey leila! Hows skool? I have not talk to u in a long time. Text me back k well ttyl
from a 949 phone number, Monday, September 17, 10:24 PM
This is sweet. It's nice to think that there's some mensch out there who's like, "You know who I like? Leila. Really it's a pity we've fallen out of touch. I think I'll just send her a text message, nothing too significant, no big gesture, just a nice note to let her know I'm thinking of her."
Sometimes my friends do this for me. Like send me postcards for no good reason, or facebook wall posts. Mostly it makes me feel guilty.
Of course, maybe this 949 person has some insidious intention, like really he has a crush on Leila and he has "not talk to u in a long time" because she is avoiding him. So this text is him trying to play it cool, as in, "Oh heeeey, long time, no see, I was just flippin' through my contacts list and, boom! There you were! Random! So, how's skool?"
from a 949 phone number, Monday, September 17, 10:24 PM
This is sweet. It's nice to think that there's some mensch out there who's like, "You know who I like? Leila. Really it's a pity we've fallen out of touch. I think I'll just send her a text message, nothing too significant, no big gesture, just a nice note to let her know I'm thinking of her."
Sometimes my friends do this for me. Like send me postcards for no good reason, or facebook wall posts. Mostly it makes me feel guilty.
Of course, maybe this 949 person has some insidious intention, like really he has a crush on Leila and he has "not talk to u in a long time" because she is avoiding him. So this text is him trying to play it cool, as in, "Oh heeeey, long time, no see, I was just flippin' through my contacts list and, boom! There you were! Random! So, how's skool?"
hey
from a 408 phone number, Tuesday, September 18, 7:16 PM
By now you've all heard my little rant against texts like this once, but SERIOUSLY. Was this really worth the ten cents it took to send it? It's true, Leila didn't text you back, 408 guy, because she didn't receive your text-- but it could have EQUALLY WELL been that she elected not to text you back because she had NOTHING TO SAY IN RESPONSE.
"hey." Sheesh. Could there BE less of a conversation starter?
from a 408 phone number, Tuesday, September 18, 7:16 PM
By now you've all heard my little rant against texts like this once, but SERIOUSLY. Was this really worth the ten cents it took to send it? It's true, Leila didn't text you back, 408 guy, because she didn't receive your text-- but it could have EQUALLY WELL been that she elected not to text you back because she had NOTHING TO SAY IN RESPONSE.
"hey." Sheesh. Could there BE less of a conversation starter?
Monday, September 17, 2007
Albert already decorated for my birthday. He said he doesnt have a sister to help him decorate. He did it nice!
from a 916 phone number, Wednesday, September 12, 1:02 AM
One thing I like about texting is that you can nearly always tell when someone uses predictive texting and when someone spells things out. The errors are different, for one. The abbreviations, too-- in predictive texting, it takes considerably more effort to type "bcuz" than "because." If this same text were written by a person who did not use predictive texting, it would look something like the following:
Albert alredy dedorated 4 my bday. he sed he doesnt hav a sister 2 helq him decorate. he did it nice!
Of course, both versions are equally easy to read. It's six of one, half-dozen of another, really.
from a 916 phone number, Wednesday, September 12, 1:02 AM
One thing I like about texting is that you can nearly always tell when someone uses predictive texting and when someone spells things out. The errors are different, for one. The abbreviations, too-- in predictive texting, it takes considerably more effort to type "bcuz" than "because." If this same text were written by a person who did not use predictive texting, it would look something like the following:
Albert alredy dedorated 4 my bday. he sed he doesnt hav a sister 2 helq him decorate. he did it nice!
Of course, both versions are equally easy to read. It's six of one, half-dozen of another, really.
If u can will u please take your granny to the toilet around 5 or 6 pm thank you mom. Let me know. Text me. We are suppose to be shopping but at movies.
from a 916 phone number, Saturday, September 15, 7:17 PM
I called this woman back, obviously. I mean, while I am on occasion heartless, I don't really want someone's grandmother to die from a bladder infection just because I couldn't get my act together to call a wayward text messager.
It impresses me how consequential the messages are that people will text to one another. I don't know why this impresses me; I, too, often use texting to convey important information. But I like to think that if a senior citizen's health were at stake, I would actually place a phone call.
No. I just thought it over. I probably wouldn't bother.
from a 916 phone number, Saturday, September 15, 7:17 PM
I called this woman back, obviously. I mean, while I am on occasion heartless, I don't really want someone's grandmother to die from a bladder infection just because I couldn't get my act together to call a wayward text messager.
It impresses me how consequential the messages are that people will text to one another. I don't know why this impresses me; I, too, often use texting to convey important information. But I like to think that if a senior citizen's health were at stake, I would actually place a phone call.
No. I just thought it over. I probably wouldn't bother.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
hey call me im bored in dance class wishing u are here did imention im very very bored bye bye ttyl ttfn l8r g8r
from a 415 phone number, Tuesday, September 11, 9:14 PM
This girl should hook up with the 608 area code girl who was so bored at the library last weekend, and then they would both stop being bored. That would kill two birds with one stone.
It seems wrong that this girl should be very very bored, though. What dance class gives you time to text? This is obviously not like advanced ballet here. Maybe it's a social dance class. Whatever it is, they should really be working the kids harder.
I find it funny that, when people are bored, they text their friends (Specifically their friends named Leila). I mean, I do the same, all the time, so I absolutely relate. But I still find it funny. What did humans do when they were bored before the advent of texting?
from a 415 phone number, Tuesday, September 11, 9:14 PM
This girl should hook up with the 608 area code girl who was so bored at the library last weekend, and then they would both stop being bored. That would kill two birds with one stone.
It seems wrong that this girl should be very very bored, though. What dance class gives you time to text? This is obviously not like advanced ballet here. Maybe it's a social dance class. Whatever it is, they should really be working the kids harder.
I find it funny that, when people are bored, they text their friends (Specifically their friends named Leila). I mean, I do the same, all the time, so I absolutely relate. But I still find it funny. What did humans do when they were bored before the advent of texting?
Monday, September 10, 2007
Salam kola ghermezi:) khufiii
from an 818 phone number, Monday, September 10, 11:57 AM
Sometimes the Leila Texts make such little sense, out of context as they are, that they could practically be written in a foreign language.
Other times, they actually are written in a foreign language.
It can be hard to figure out which is which, but I'm pretty sure this is an example of the latter.
from an 818 phone number, Monday, September 10, 11:57 AM
Sometimes the Leila Texts make such little sense, out of context as they are, that they could practically be written in a foreign language.
Other times, they actually are written in a foreign language.
It can be hard to figure out which is which, but I'm pretty sure this is an example of the latter.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Hey is 85 a wk good 4 a house cleaner?
from a 909 phone number, Thursday, September 6, 9:17 PM
My God, I have no idea. How many days a week is the cleaner coming? How big is your house? Of course, even if I knew the answers to these questions, I would not know what a good price is for a house cleaner. If it were a manicure, I would tell you: $10-$15. If it were a vodka cranberry at a bar, I would tell you: $4-$7. But a house cleaner? I would call my mother.
It fascinates me that there exists some Leila (in California, it seems) who would KNOW these things. Some Leila who, when her friends are getting housecleaners, are like, "You know who we should ask about this? Leila. She is like the expert at pricing out cleaning services."
If I ever become rich enough to get my own house cleaner, hell, I'LL text this Leila to ask what I should be paying. I would be grateful for her advice.
from a 909 phone number, Thursday, September 6, 9:17 PM
My God, I have no idea. How many days a week is the cleaner coming? How big is your house? Of course, even if I knew the answers to these questions, I would not know what a good price is for a house cleaner. If it were a manicure, I would tell you: $10-$15. If it were a vodka cranberry at a bar, I would tell you: $4-$7. But a house cleaner? I would call my mother.
It fascinates me that there exists some Leila (in California, it seems) who would KNOW these things. Some Leila who, when her friends are getting housecleaners, are like, "You know who we should ask about this? Leila. She is like the expert at pricing out cleaning services."
If I ever become rich enough to get my own house cleaner, hell, I'LL text this Leila to ask what I should be paying. I would be grateful for her advice.
you best be ready for the smack down! Haha
from an 860 phone number, Wednesday, September 5, 10:35 PM
I'm not sure how I would respond to this text, if I were the intended Leila. "Oh, I am ready, don't you worry." Or, "Ahh! No, not the smack down!" Or, "You'll never get me!"
Text message flirtation is not my forte, apparently.
from an 860 phone number, Wednesday, September 5, 10:35 PM
I'm not sure how I would respond to this text, if I were the intended Leila. "Oh, I am ready, don't you worry." Or, "Ahh! No, not the smack down!" Or, "You'll never get me!"
Text message flirtation is not my forte, apparently.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
Its been over an hour
from an 810 phone number, Saturday, September 1, 10:58 PM
I was at the movies with my mother and my friend Emily on Saturday night. When I emerged, I had this text on my phone. This pleased me; it makes me feel lonely to turn off my phone for two hours, and then turn it on again to find that no one has tried to contact me for the entire time that I have been incommunicado.
Emily was less impressed. "They weren't actually texting YOU," she pointed out. As though this makes a difference.
from an 810 phone number, Saturday, September 1, 10:58 PM
I was at the movies with my mother and my friend Emily on Saturday night. When I emerged, I had this text on my phone. This pleased me; it makes me feel lonely to turn off my phone for two hours, and then turn it on again to find that no one has tried to contact me for the entire time that I have been incommunicado.
Emily was less impressed. "They weren't actually texting YOU," she pointed out. As though this makes a difference.
Hey what are the plans for tomorrow
from an 814 phone number. Saturday, September 1, 8:53 PM
I regret not calling this person back. Like, what if he and Leila had made tentative plans for a date, so he was texting to see what they were going to do? But then she didn't receive his text, so she assumed that he didn't actually want to go out with her, and he assumed that she's ignoring him, and now their chances at a relationship are ruined.
And if they ever discuss it, it'll be, like, he'll work up all his nerve to say to her, "Leila, why did you never text me back that time I asked about our plans? You could have at least written back to say you weren't interested."
And then she'll reply, "You never texted me."
And he'll say, "Yes, I did!"
And she'll say, "Look, it's fine that you didn't actually want to go out with me. I can handle it. But don't lie to me and pretend like you texted me when we both know you didn't."
And Leila will think he's a liar, and he'll think Leila's a bitch, and it will be all because I couldn't be bothered to call back some 814 phone number.
(Alternatively, maybe 814 is just Leila's best friend, who, failing to receive a response, just phoned Leila up an hour later. No biggie.)
from an 814 phone number. Saturday, September 1, 8:53 PM
I regret not calling this person back. Like, what if he and Leila had made tentative plans for a date, so he was texting to see what they were going to do? But then she didn't receive his text, so she assumed that he didn't actually want to go out with her, and he assumed that she's ignoring him, and now their chances at a relationship are ruined.
And if they ever discuss it, it'll be, like, he'll work up all his nerve to say to her, "Leila, why did you never text me back that time I asked about our plans? You could have at least written back to say you weren't interested."
And then she'll reply, "You never texted me."
And he'll say, "Yes, I did!"
And she'll say, "Look, it's fine that you didn't actually want to go out with me. I can handle it. But don't lie to me and pretend like you texted me when we both know you didn't."
And Leila will think he's a liar, and he'll think Leila's a bitch, and it will be all because I couldn't be bothered to call back some 814 phone number.
(Alternatively, maybe 814 is just Leila's best friend, who, failing to receive a response, just phoned Leila up an hour later. No biggie.)
I am at the library... And I am bored!!!
from a 608 phone number, Saturday, September 1, 4:55 PM
I don't know where this 608 character goes to college, but wherever it is, she can't be more than two weeks into the new school year. If she's ALREADY so bored of the library that she's texting Leila about it, then I feel pretty bad for her. It's a long nine months between now and graduation.
On the upside, girl, at least you get cell phone reception in your library. My college library was a goddamn Faraday cage. When I was there and bored, I couldn't text anyone for moral support, least of all someone else named Leila.
from a 608 phone number, Saturday, September 1, 4:55 PM
I don't know where this 608 character goes to college, but wherever it is, she can't be more than two weeks into the new school year. If she's ALREADY so bored of the library that she's texting Leila about it, then I feel pretty bad for her. It's a long nine months between now and graduation.
On the upside, girl, at least you get cell phone reception in your library. My college library was a goddamn Faraday cage. When I was there and bored, I couldn't text anyone for moral support, least of all someone else named Leila.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Cierra left her pillow case.
from a 916 phone number, Thursday, August 30, 1:29 AM
Somewhere, there is a Leila who would be deeply affected by the news that Cierra left her pillow case. This is obviously a relevant piece of information, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why. I have never in my life of texting felt the need to inform a friend that someone left her pillow case (though I have also never felt the need to inform a friend that I only roll with P.I.M.P.S., so perhaps I shouldn't use myself as a texting reference point).
The best explanation I can come up with for this text is that it is code for something like, "Cierra hooked up with a really hot guy," or, "The Nazis surrendered," or whatever.
from a 916 phone number, Thursday, August 30, 1:29 AM
Somewhere, there is a Leila who would be deeply affected by the news that Cierra left her pillow case. This is obviously a relevant piece of information, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why. I have never in my life of texting felt the need to inform a friend that someone left her pillow case (though I have also never felt the need to inform a friend that I only roll with P.I.M.P.S., so perhaps I shouldn't use myself as a texting reference point).
The best explanation I can come up with for this text is that it is code for something like, "Cierra hooked up with a really hot guy," or, "The Nazis surrendered," or whatever.
Hey its beth! i wanna see u!
from a 518 phone number, Wednesday, August 29, 4:00 PM
This sort of text always unnerves me because it could conceivably actually be for me. I might know someone named Beth, right? And she might want to see me? I don't know where 518 is, and I can't offhand think of a Beth who would want to see me who is not already saved in my contacts list, so I am going to assume this is a Leila Text and will not call this girl back. I figure that's a safer route than calling up this stranger and being like, "Beth! I wanna see u, too!"
from a 518 phone number, Wednesday, August 29, 4:00 PM
This sort of text always unnerves me because it could conceivably actually be for me. I might know someone named Beth, right? And she might want to see me? I don't know where 518 is, and I can't offhand think of a Beth who would want to see me who is not already saved in my contacts list, so I am going to assume this is a Leila Text and will not call this girl back. I figure that's a safer route than calling up this stranger and being like, "Beth! I wanna see u, too!"
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