Cell 573**** I will have a car tomorrow so you dont need yours. I will take you home after
from an 801 phone number, Thursday, October 4, 11:46 PM
Obviously the text included the full phone number, but, as you know, I try to preserve the strangers' privacy when I can.
So... this sounds fun, doesn't it? Leila doesn't need her car because the 801 person will take her home after. But after what? That's the question. After a party? After apple-picking? After her court hearing? Isn't it existential to think that we will never know?
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Call me after 3, ok?
from an 814 number, Friday, October 5, 10:34 PM
3? That's a pretty arbitrary time, don't you think, 814 guy?
Well, maybe Leila wouldn't think so. Maybe Leila knows that you have a meeting until 3. Or maybe you are an elementary school student and don't get home until 3. I guess Leila would know.
Personally, though, I want to know what the heck is so special about 3 that you can't receive calls before then. Picky, picky.
from an 814 number, Friday, October 5, 10:34 PM
3? That's a pretty arbitrary time, don't you think, 814 guy?
Well, maybe Leila wouldn't think so. Maybe Leila knows that you have a meeting until 3. Or maybe you are an elementary school student and don't get home until 3. I guess Leila would know.
Personally, though, I want to know what the heck is so special about 3 that you can't receive calls before then. Picky, picky.
hey u just wanted to say hi
from a 909 phone number, Friday, October 5, 6:09 PM
As with the 949 person who asked Leila "how's skool" a few entries back, this text could either be really sweet or really annoying. It all depends what Leila's relationship is with the 909 guy. If it's a friend of hers who lives in a different state and they don't get to talk all that often, then it's nice of him to text just to say hi, just so she knows they're still friends.
On the other hand, if this is a boy with whom she once, a number of months ago, went out on a date, and she's been avoiding him ever since, and he's still texting to say, "hey u just wanted to say hi," then really he should just lay off. And had Leila received this text, as was intended, she would have turned to her friends and been like, "God, that guy is still texting me, and he has nothing to say, even; he can't even come up with a good pretense for texting me."
It's all a matter of perspective, is the point.
To ponder: Is a text message saying "hey u just wanted to say hi" better than those text messages that I constantly criticize that just say "hi"?
from a 909 phone number, Friday, October 5, 6:09 PM
As with the 949 person who asked Leila "how's skool" a few entries back, this text could either be really sweet or really annoying. It all depends what Leila's relationship is with the 909 guy. If it's a friend of hers who lives in a different state and they don't get to talk all that often, then it's nice of him to text just to say hi, just so she knows they're still friends.
On the other hand, if this is a boy with whom she once, a number of months ago, went out on a date, and she's been avoiding him ever since, and he's still texting to say, "hey u just wanted to say hi," then really he should just lay off. And had Leila received this text, as was intended, she would have turned to her friends and been like, "God, that guy is still texting me, and he has nothing to say, even; he can't even come up with a good pretense for texting me."
It's all a matter of perspective, is the point.
To ponder: Is a text message saying "hey u just wanted to say hi" better than those text messages that I constantly criticize that just say "hi"?
R u going to the hw game i am
from a 310 phone number, Friday, October 5, 7:33 PM
You know, a number of colleges have their homecoming games this weekend. (I learned this from my coworker Leslie, don't worry, it's not like I actually have any sense of when or what homecoming is.) Do you suppose "the hw game" is supposed to be "the homecoming game"? Or is that too much of a stretch?
In my experience, "hw" stands for "homework." But "R u going to the homework game i am"? No. That makes no sense. Homework is never a game.
from a 310 phone number, Friday, October 5, 7:33 PM
You know, a number of colleges have their homecoming games this weekend. (I learned this from my coworker Leslie, don't worry, it's not like I actually have any sense of when or what homecoming is.) Do you suppose "the hw game" is supposed to be "the homecoming game"? Or is that too much of a stretch?
In my experience, "hw" stands for "homework." But "R u going to the homework game i am"? No. That makes no sense. Homework is never a game.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
FWD: Men are like toilets. They're either dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, or FULL OF SHIT. If you agree, send to all of your girls.
from a 646 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 5:50 PM
While I appreciate the "boys suck" sentiment, I honestly find this analogy to be a little factually inaccurate. Although some toilets are dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, or FULL OF SHIT, many toilets work fine. For example, today I used the toilet in my office. It was fine. Then I got home and used the toilet in my apartment. Also fine.
So men may still be like toilets, but at that point all you're saying is, "Men are like toilets. They're either dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, FULL OF SHIT, or-- and this happens most often-- perfectly normal and usable and fulfilling their purpose."
Sort of diminishes the statement's power, doesn't it?
from a 646 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 5:50 PM
While I appreciate the "boys suck" sentiment, I honestly find this analogy to be a little factually inaccurate. Although some toilets are dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, or FULL OF SHIT, many toilets work fine. For example, today I used the toilet in my office. It was fine. Then I got home and used the toilet in my apartment. Also fine.
So men may still be like toilets, but at that point all you're saying is, "Men are like toilets. They're either dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, FULL OF SHIT, or-- and this happens most often-- perfectly normal and usable and fulfilling their purpose."
Sort of diminishes the statement's power, doesn't it?
MUAHHH!!!! I WANT ONE BACK! You've been blown a KISS. If u get 1-3 ur sweet, 4-6 adorable, 7-9 freaking hot! So start kissin!
.:.~%"LoU"%*~.:.
from a 928 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 7:55 PM
I only got this one kiss, so I guess I'm just sweet. Which would really be a compliment, if I didn't know that the other two options were "adorable" and "freaking hot." Sweet doesn't sound so great any more, when compared with freaking hot. But I guess I take my compliments where I get them.
P.S. I have NO FUCKING CLUE what that random string of punctuation at the end of the text is. Is it supposed to look like a kiss, maybe? I don't know, maybe kisses do look like a string of colons and percentage signs. I mean, who's to say?
.:.~%"LoU"%*~.:.
from a 928 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 7:55 PM
I only got this one kiss, so I guess I'm just sweet. Which would really be a compliment, if I didn't know that the other two options were "adorable" and "freaking hot." Sweet doesn't sound so great any more, when compared with freaking hot. But I guess I take my compliments where I get them.
P.S. I have NO FUCKING CLUE what that random string of punctuation at the end of the text is. Is it supposed to look like a kiss, maybe? I don't know, maybe kisses do look like a string of colons and percentage signs. I mean, who's to say?
Bourne is awsome chicken is in the frig as of 12:30
from an 865 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 6:18 PM
Ahem. This is where the PR people for The Bourne Identity are supposed to give me free CDs and liquor and stuff because I mentioned their movie in my blog, and that is good advertising. In fact, I not only mentioned it, I called it "awsome."
Go on, then. Show your gratitude. I'll accept even free Bourne clip-on earrings (if they exist). I am not picky.
from an 865 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 6:18 PM
Ahem. This is where the PR people for The Bourne Identity are supposed to give me free CDs and liquor and stuff because I mentioned their movie in my blog, and that is good advertising. In fact, I not only mentioned it, I called it "awsome."
Go on, then. Show your gratitude. I'll accept even free Bourne clip-on earrings (if they exist). I am not picky.
Monday, October 1, 2007
still at l a x plane f up
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, September 29, 4:19 PM
Sometimes the Leila Texts make me feel like I'm part of this whole big community, like we're not all so different as we feel, like I really have a lot in common with this multitude of nameless, faceless text message senders. We all sometimes get bored. We all celebrate birthdays. We all want to know what the plans are today. We all sometimes get stranded in airports. It's a small world after all.
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, September 29, 4:19 PM
Sometimes the Leila Texts make me feel like I'm part of this whole big community, like we're not all so different as we feel, like I really have a lot in common with this multitude of nameless, faceless text message senders. We all sometimes get bored. We all celebrate birthdays. We all want to know what the plans are today. We all sometimes get stranded in airports. It's a small world after all.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Happy birthday! loue, aunt jody
from an 814 phone number, Friday, September 28, 6:44 AM
I live in the EST time zone, so it can't have been any later in the morning where Leila lives. When Aunt Jody texted her birthday wishes, it was definitely 6:44 in the morning. Being awake at 6:44 AM sounds like a devastating start to a birthday. I'm glad I was able to intercept this text and perhaps allow Leila to sleep in a bit later. Think of it as my own little birthday present to her.
from an 814 phone number, Friday, September 28, 6:44 AM
I live in the EST time zone, so it can't have been any later in the morning where Leila lives. When Aunt Jody texted her birthday wishes, it was definitely 6:44 in the morning. Being awake at 6:44 AM sounds like a devastating start to a birthday. I'm glad I was able to intercept this text and perhaps allow Leila to sleep in a bit later. Think of it as my own little birthday present to her.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Salu on est entrain de manger
from a 702 phone number, Wednesday, September 19, 2:07 PM
I ran this message through Babelfish, French to English (although this may or may not actually be French). Babelfish translated the phrase as "Salu one is spirit to eat."
I can't decide if it makes more sense in English or in French. Maybe I should run it through again, like in Swedish to English, and see if that makes it any clearer.
from a 702 phone number, Wednesday, September 19, 2:07 PM
I ran this message through Babelfish, French to English (although this may or may not actually be French). Babelfish translated the phrase as "Salu one is spirit to eat."
I can't decide if it makes more sense in English or in French. Maybe I should run it through again, like in Swedish to English, and see if that makes it any clearer.
FWD: FWD: Me w/out you is like a camera w/ no flash, a car w/ no gas, a stripper w/ no ass & a pimp w/ no cash send 2 all your friends
from a 626 phone number, Thursday, September 20, 10:04 PM
Some B-average 10th grader out there is right now thinking, "Yes! I am a POET! Cell phone users across the nation are reading MY POETRY! I am like the POET LAUREATE of cell phones!"
Who are we to disabuse the poor tyke of her illusions?
from a 626 phone number, Thursday, September 20, 10:04 PM
Some B-average 10th grader out there is right now thinking, "Yes! I am a POET! Cell phone users across the nation are reading MY POETRY! I am like the POET LAUREATE of cell phones!"
Who are we to disabuse the poor tyke of her illusions?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Hey leila! Hows skool? I have not talk to u in a long time. Text me back k well ttyl
from a 949 phone number, Monday, September 17, 10:24 PM
This is sweet. It's nice to think that there's some mensch out there who's like, "You know who I like? Leila. Really it's a pity we've fallen out of touch. I think I'll just send her a text message, nothing too significant, no big gesture, just a nice note to let her know I'm thinking of her."
Sometimes my friends do this for me. Like send me postcards for no good reason, or facebook wall posts. Mostly it makes me feel guilty.
Of course, maybe this 949 person has some insidious intention, like really he has a crush on Leila and he has "not talk to u in a long time" because she is avoiding him. So this text is him trying to play it cool, as in, "Oh heeeey, long time, no see, I was just flippin' through my contacts list and, boom! There you were! Random! So, how's skool?"
from a 949 phone number, Monday, September 17, 10:24 PM
This is sweet. It's nice to think that there's some mensch out there who's like, "You know who I like? Leila. Really it's a pity we've fallen out of touch. I think I'll just send her a text message, nothing too significant, no big gesture, just a nice note to let her know I'm thinking of her."
Sometimes my friends do this for me. Like send me postcards for no good reason, or facebook wall posts. Mostly it makes me feel guilty.
Of course, maybe this 949 person has some insidious intention, like really he has a crush on Leila and he has "not talk to u in a long time" because she is avoiding him. So this text is him trying to play it cool, as in, "Oh heeeey, long time, no see, I was just flippin' through my contacts list and, boom! There you were! Random! So, how's skool?"
hey
from a 408 phone number, Tuesday, September 18, 7:16 PM
By now you've all heard my little rant against texts like this once, but SERIOUSLY. Was this really worth the ten cents it took to send it? It's true, Leila didn't text you back, 408 guy, because she didn't receive your text-- but it could have EQUALLY WELL been that she elected not to text you back because she had NOTHING TO SAY IN RESPONSE.
"hey." Sheesh. Could there BE less of a conversation starter?
from a 408 phone number, Tuesday, September 18, 7:16 PM
By now you've all heard my little rant against texts like this once, but SERIOUSLY. Was this really worth the ten cents it took to send it? It's true, Leila didn't text you back, 408 guy, because she didn't receive your text-- but it could have EQUALLY WELL been that she elected not to text you back because she had NOTHING TO SAY IN RESPONSE.
"hey." Sheesh. Could there BE less of a conversation starter?
Monday, September 17, 2007
Albert already decorated for my birthday. He said he doesnt have a sister to help him decorate. He did it nice!
from a 916 phone number, Wednesday, September 12, 1:02 AM
One thing I like about texting is that you can nearly always tell when someone uses predictive texting and when someone spells things out. The errors are different, for one. The abbreviations, too-- in predictive texting, it takes considerably more effort to type "bcuz" than "because." If this same text were written by a person who did not use predictive texting, it would look something like the following:
Albert alredy dedorated 4 my bday. he sed he doesnt hav a sister 2 helq him decorate. he did it nice!
Of course, both versions are equally easy to read. It's six of one, half-dozen of another, really.
from a 916 phone number, Wednesday, September 12, 1:02 AM
One thing I like about texting is that you can nearly always tell when someone uses predictive texting and when someone spells things out. The errors are different, for one. The abbreviations, too-- in predictive texting, it takes considerably more effort to type "bcuz" than "because." If this same text were written by a person who did not use predictive texting, it would look something like the following:
Albert alredy dedorated 4 my bday. he sed he doesnt hav a sister 2 helq him decorate. he did it nice!
Of course, both versions are equally easy to read. It's six of one, half-dozen of another, really.
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