Im going to hebrew school
from a 310 phone number, Monday, October 8, 9:39 PM
Oh, man, that sucks. I'm sorry. I have been in your boat, child, and it is no fun. Just keep your head down and eat a lot of kosher candy. That's all the advice I've got for you today.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
It's Stephanie. For cleaning today key is under mat.
from a 203 phone number, Tuesday, October 9, 8:43 PM
Is Stephanie texting Leila with this information because Leila is Stephanie's house cleaner? I don't know many people close enough to their house cleaners to text them the location of their hidden house keys. My mother has house cleaners, but honestly I doubt she knows their cell phone numbers at all.
I wonder how much Stephanie pays Leila to clean her house. More or less than $85 per week, do you think? I should ask her and then use that information to reply to the 909 person from last month who wanted to know if $85 per week is good for a house cleaner. I think that would be a real service that I could provide.
Funny, isn't it, how many text messages revolve around house cleaning?
from a 203 phone number, Tuesday, October 9, 8:43 PM
Is Stephanie texting Leila with this information because Leila is Stephanie's house cleaner? I don't know many people close enough to their house cleaners to text them the location of their hidden house keys. My mother has house cleaners, but honestly I doubt she knows their cell phone numbers at all.
I wonder how much Stephanie pays Leila to clean her house. More or less than $85 per week, do you think? I should ask her and then use that information to reply to the 909 person from last month who wanted to know if $85 per week is good for a house cleaner. I think that would be a real service that I could provide.
Funny, isn't it, how many text messages revolve around house cleaning?
Good luck at practice
from a 646 phone number, Tuesday, October 9, 6:06 PM
What a sweet text message! Thank you! Thank you for your good luck wishes! (Again, unless you are a creepy ex who's just looking for any desperate excuse to send Leila a text message.)
I wonder what Leila practices. Soccer? Violin? Debate? I hope it's something cool. Like basket-weaving. Does one practice basket-weaving? Is that the terminology?
from a 646 phone number, Tuesday, October 9, 6:06 PM
What a sweet text message! Thank you! Thank you for your good luck wishes! (Again, unless you are a creepy ex who's just looking for any desperate excuse to send Leila a text message.)
I wonder what Leila practices. Soccer? Violin? Debate? I hope it's something cool. Like basket-weaving. Does one practice basket-weaving? Is that the terminology?
Dumb ass
from a 248 phone number, Wednesday, October 10, 11:04 AM
Maybe 248 thought Leila didn't respond because she was offended. Maybe when he sees her later, he'll be like, "Hey, sorry about the text I sent you earlier today. Obviously you're not a dumb ass. I was just kidding."
And she will say, "What?"
from a 248 phone number, Wednesday, October 10, 11:04 AM
Maybe 248 thought Leila didn't respond because she was offended. Maybe when he sees her later, he'll be like, "Hey, sorry about the text I sent you earlier today. Obviously you're not a dumb ass. I was just kidding."
And she will say, "What?"
Monday, October 8, 2007
c Just poured 1 gal distilled h20 in fountain will need more tomorrow
from a 310 phone number, Sunday, October 7, 1:09 AM
This sounds like an intense science project. This obviously belongs in the "Materials" section of a lab report. As in:
Materials:
1 beaker
1 fountain
a centrifuge
1 gal. distilled H2O
However, I still don't understand what the "Method" section would be. Or, more to the point, the "Hypothesis." Because my working hypothesis right now is, "If I pour 1 gallon of distilled H2O in the fountain today, then I will need more tomorrow."
from a 310 phone number, Sunday, October 7, 1:09 AM
This sounds like an intense science project. This obviously belongs in the "Materials" section of a lab report. As in:
Materials:
1 beaker
1 fountain
a centrifuge
1 gal. distilled H2O
However, I still don't understand what the "Method" section would be. Or, more to the point, the "Hypothesis." Because my working hypothesis right now is, "If I pour 1 gallon of distilled H2O in the fountain today, then I will need more tomorrow."
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Cell 573**** I will have a car tomorrow so you dont need yours. I will take you home after
from an 801 phone number, Thursday, October 4, 11:46 PM
Obviously the text included the full phone number, but, as you know, I try to preserve the strangers' privacy when I can.
So... this sounds fun, doesn't it? Leila doesn't need her car because the 801 person will take her home after. But after what? That's the question. After a party? After apple-picking? After her court hearing? Isn't it existential to think that we will never know?
from an 801 phone number, Thursday, October 4, 11:46 PM
Obviously the text included the full phone number, but, as you know, I try to preserve the strangers' privacy when I can.
So... this sounds fun, doesn't it? Leila doesn't need her car because the 801 person will take her home after. But after what? That's the question. After a party? After apple-picking? After her court hearing? Isn't it existential to think that we will never know?
Call me after 3, ok?
from an 814 number, Friday, October 5, 10:34 PM
3? That's a pretty arbitrary time, don't you think, 814 guy?
Well, maybe Leila wouldn't think so. Maybe Leila knows that you have a meeting until 3. Or maybe you are an elementary school student and don't get home until 3. I guess Leila would know.
Personally, though, I want to know what the heck is so special about 3 that you can't receive calls before then. Picky, picky.
from an 814 number, Friday, October 5, 10:34 PM
3? That's a pretty arbitrary time, don't you think, 814 guy?
Well, maybe Leila wouldn't think so. Maybe Leila knows that you have a meeting until 3. Or maybe you are an elementary school student and don't get home until 3. I guess Leila would know.
Personally, though, I want to know what the heck is so special about 3 that you can't receive calls before then. Picky, picky.
hey u just wanted to say hi
from a 909 phone number, Friday, October 5, 6:09 PM
As with the 949 person who asked Leila "how's skool" a few entries back, this text could either be really sweet or really annoying. It all depends what Leila's relationship is with the 909 guy. If it's a friend of hers who lives in a different state and they don't get to talk all that often, then it's nice of him to text just to say hi, just so she knows they're still friends.
On the other hand, if this is a boy with whom she once, a number of months ago, went out on a date, and she's been avoiding him ever since, and he's still texting to say, "hey u just wanted to say hi," then really he should just lay off. And had Leila received this text, as was intended, she would have turned to her friends and been like, "God, that guy is still texting me, and he has nothing to say, even; he can't even come up with a good pretense for texting me."
It's all a matter of perspective, is the point.
To ponder: Is a text message saying "hey u just wanted to say hi" better than those text messages that I constantly criticize that just say "hi"?
from a 909 phone number, Friday, October 5, 6:09 PM
As with the 949 person who asked Leila "how's skool" a few entries back, this text could either be really sweet or really annoying. It all depends what Leila's relationship is with the 909 guy. If it's a friend of hers who lives in a different state and they don't get to talk all that often, then it's nice of him to text just to say hi, just so she knows they're still friends.
On the other hand, if this is a boy with whom she once, a number of months ago, went out on a date, and she's been avoiding him ever since, and he's still texting to say, "hey u just wanted to say hi," then really he should just lay off. And had Leila received this text, as was intended, she would have turned to her friends and been like, "God, that guy is still texting me, and he has nothing to say, even; he can't even come up with a good pretense for texting me."
It's all a matter of perspective, is the point.
To ponder: Is a text message saying "hey u just wanted to say hi" better than those text messages that I constantly criticize that just say "hi"?
R u going to the hw game i am
from a 310 phone number, Friday, October 5, 7:33 PM
You know, a number of colleges have their homecoming games this weekend. (I learned this from my coworker Leslie, don't worry, it's not like I actually have any sense of when or what homecoming is.) Do you suppose "the hw game" is supposed to be "the homecoming game"? Or is that too much of a stretch?
In my experience, "hw" stands for "homework." But "R u going to the homework game i am"? No. That makes no sense. Homework is never a game.
from a 310 phone number, Friday, October 5, 7:33 PM
You know, a number of colleges have their homecoming games this weekend. (I learned this from my coworker Leslie, don't worry, it's not like I actually have any sense of when or what homecoming is.) Do you suppose "the hw game" is supposed to be "the homecoming game"? Or is that too much of a stretch?
In my experience, "hw" stands for "homework." But "R u going to the homework game i am"? No. That makes no sense. Homework is never a game.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
FWD: Men are like toilets. They're either dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, or FULL OF SHIT. If you agree, send to all of your girls.
from a 646 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 5:50 PM
While I appreciate the "boys suck" sentiment, I honestly find this analogy to be a little factually inaccurate. Although some toilets are dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, or FULL OF SHIT, many toilets work fine. For example, today I used the toilet in my office. It was fine. Then I got home and used the toilet in my apartment. Also fine.
So men may still be like toilets, but at that point all you're saying is, "Men are like toilets. They're either dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, FULL OF SHIT, or-- and this happens most often-- perfectly normal and usable and fulfilling their purpose."
Sort of diminishes the statement's power, doesn't it?
from a 646 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 5:50 PM
While I appreciate the "boys suck" sentiment, I honestly find this analogy to be a little factually inaccurate. Although some toilets are dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, or FULL OF SHIT, many toilets work fine. For example, today I used the toilet in my office. It was fine. Then I got home and used the toilet in my apartment. Also fine.
So men may still be like toilets, but at that point all you're saying is, "Men are like toilets. They're either dirty, unavailable, out-of-order, FULL OF SHIT, or-- and this happens most often-- perfectly normal and usable and fulfilling their purpose."
Sort of diminishes the statement's power, doesn't it?
MUAHHH!!!! I WANT ONE BACK! You've been blown a KISS. If u get 1-3 ur sweet, 4-6 adorable, 7-9 freaking hot! So start kissin!
.:.~%"LoU"%*~.:.
from a 928 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 7:55 PM
I only got this one kiss, so I guess I'm just sweet. Which would really be a compliment, if I didn't know that the other two options were "adorable" and "freaking hot." Sweet doesn't sound so great any more, when compared with freaking hot. But I guess I take my compliments where I get them.
P.S. I have NO FUCKING CLUE what that random string of punctuation at the end of the text is. Is it supposed to look like a kiss, maybe? I don't know, maybe kisses do look like a string of colons and percentage signs. I mean, who's to say?
.:.~%"LoU"%*~.:.
from a 928 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 7:55 PM
I only got this one kiss, so I guess I'm just sweet. Which would really be a compliment, if I didn't know that the other two options were "adorable" and "freaking hot." Sweet doesn't sound so great any more, when compared with freaking hot. But I guess I take my compliments where I get them.
P.S. I have NO FUCKING CLUE what that random string of punctuation at the end of the text is. Is it supposed to look like a kiss, maybe? I don't know, maybe kisses do look like a string of colons and percentage signs. I mean, who's to say?
Bourne is awsome chicken is in the frig as of 12:30
from an 865 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 6:18 PM
Ahem. This is where the PR people for The Bourne Identity are supposed to give me free CDs and liquor and stuff because I mentioned their movie in my blog, and that is good advertising. In fact, I not only mentioned it, I called it "awsome."
Go on, then. Show your gratitude. I'll accept even free Bourne clip-on earrings (if they exist). I am not picky.
from an 865 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 6:18 PM
Ahem. This is where the PR people for The Bourne Identity are supposed to give me free CDs and liquor and stuff because I mentioned their movie in my blog, and that is good advertising. In fact, I not only mentioned it, I called it "awsome."
Go on, then. Show your gratitude. I'll accept even free Bourne clip-on earrings (if they exist). I am not picky.
Monday, October 1, 2007
still at l a x plane f up
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, September 29, 4:19 PM
Sometimes the Leila Texts make me feel like I'm part of this whole big community, like we're not all so different as we feel, like I really have a lot in common with this multitude of nameless, faceless text message senders. We all sometimes get bored. We all celebrate birthdays. We all want to know what the plans are today. We all sometimes get stranded in airports. It's a small world after all.
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, September 29, 4:19 PM
Sometimes the Leila Texts make me feel like I'm part of this whole big community, like we're not all so different as we feel, like I really have a lot in common with this multitude of nameless, faceless text message senders. We all sometimes get bored. We all celebrate birthdays. We all want to know what the plans are today. We all sometimes get stranded in airports. It's a small world after all.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Happy birthday! loue, aunt jody
from an 814 phone number, Friday, September 28, 6:44 AM
I live in the EST time zone, so it can't have been any later in the morning where Leila lives. When Aunt Jody texted her birthday wishes, it was definitely 6:44 in the morning. Being awake at 6:44 AM sounds like a devastating start to a birthday. I'm glad I was able to intercept this text and perhaps allow Leila to sleep in a bit later. Think of it as my own little birthday present to her.
from an 814 phone number, Friday, September 28, 6:44 AM
I live in the EST time zone, so it can't have been any later in the morning where Leila lives. When Aunt Jody texted her birthday wishes, it was definitely 6:44 in the morning. Being awake at 6:44 AM sounds like a devastating start to a birthday. I'm glad I was able to intercept this text and perhaps allow Leila to sleep in a bit later. Think of it as my own little birthday present to her.
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