Lets her know she s not missing anything
from a 865 phone number, Tuesday, February 12, 9:30 PM

When someone says you're not missing anything, a lot of the time, you actually are. Have you noticed that?

cell im here with money
from a 703 phone number, Tuesday, February 12, 5:38 PM

Well all right. I wasn't going to come see you, but if you're here with money, I suppose I can be bothered.
My love is easily bought!

now we can sit here and talk about Nicole and she'll never know.
from a 618 phone number, Wednesday, February 13, 4:01 PM

That would have been a good plan, 618 girl, had your text actually reached Leila (who, I imagine, was sitting about five feet from you when you sent this). I bet 618 was very bewildered when her gossipy little plan failed to come to fruition.

I NEED UR HELP THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT!
from a 408 phone number, Wednesday, February 13, 10:13 PM

I know I'm paranoid, but what with the all-caps and everything, this just reads like someone who's trying out the Leila Texts and wants real bad for me to call them back, to prove that the Texts actually work. I know, I know, it's probably actually a text from someone who GENUINELY NEEDS Leila's help, and someone probably died because I was too wary to call this number, but, well... Don't entrust something so "REALLY IMPORTANT!" to text, okay?

u look soooo cute in your new coat
from a 949 phone number, Thursday, February 14, 1:27 AM

Aww thanks! I love these sorts of supportive texts. Some Leilas have got great friends.

Willburton inn in manchester
from a 201 phone number, Thursday, February 14, 2:09 PM

Wilburton Inn is "Manchester Vermont's 30 acre grand Victorian inn. High on the crest of a hill overlooking Vermont's Green Mountains, the Wilburton Inn is the largest private estate in Manchester Village." It looks pretty damn classy. I wonder what 201 is doing there. Getting married, maybe? It seems like a good getting-married place.

Happy valentines Day Love Gerry
from a 603 phone number, Thursday, February 14, 9:24 AM

Happy valentine day
from a 978 p[hone number, Thursday, February 14, 9:51 AM

I love u
from a 914 phone number Thursday, February 14, 3:25 PM

This was it for the Valentine's Day wishes. It's a little of a disappointing showing. I mean, I got way more misdirected "Happy Thanksgiving" texts back in November. Are so few people really in love with Leilas? I don't accept it.

Flowery elephants
from a 914 phone number, Thursday. February 14, 5:28 PM

Slap
from a 914 phone number, Thursday, February 14, 5:32 PM

More flowery elephants
from a 914 phone number, Thursday, February 14, 5:36 PM

I would love to be able to understand this inside joke. I bet Leila would have found it hilarious.

Msg: I+L+o+v+e+y+o+u send 2 everyone u love whether its real love, homie love, friend love, or family love, if you get 5 back, your loved! Happy V day!
from a 415 phone number, Friday, February 15, 8:25 AM

Valentine's Day is one of those holidays that loses it relevance pretty quickly. While a belated birthday gift is acceptable, a belated Valentine's Day gift really is not, and a Valentine's text coming on February 15 is a little awkward.

Also: Who knew anyone still used the word "homie"?

this jude wat u doin
>!YUNG DOUGI3!<
from a 954 phone number, Saturday, February 16, 12:06 AM

Young Dougie must be pretty cool, since he uses a "3" in place of an "E." l337, and all related number-for-letter substitution, is inherently cool.

hola sweetheart it AJ *Amie*Bamie*
from a 541 phone number, Saturday, February 16, 11:28 AM

As in "Aly and..."? (One can always dream.)

Hey leila it is Alex. How are you doing buddy. I hope you have fun this weekend at thr superbull party. Please take alot of pictures of that hot guy.
from a 503 phone number, Friday, February 1, 8:29 PM

Hey it is alex again. Just letting you know that you are one of my really great friends.
Luv ya
Alex
from a 503 phone number. Friday, February 1, 8:38 PM

Hey girl it is alex. Did you see the snow outside? Maybe we should hang out later on today!
from a 503 phone number, Saturday., February 2, 1:19 PM

Hey it is alex again. call me later on when you get the chance.
Luv ya
Alex
from a 503 phone number, Saturday, February 2, 1:21 PM

Here is my only question: Why does Alex feel the need to identify herself at the beginning of every text message ("Hey it is Alex")? Can't Leila just save Alex's number into her phone? I mean, at this point, EVEN I recognize when a text message is from Alex.

It's like when people start their emails by saying, "Hi Leila, it's Jane Smith." And I'm like, "Really. Because you know, your email address is jane.smith@gmail.com."

Si me case ? no este bichito es tullo cuando tu quieras
from a 631 phone number, Friday, February 1, 2:29 PM

If I'm married? This bichito is not yours when you want.

(I know I have some fluent Spanish speakers reading this blog. Help a girl out, will you?)

Yooo u comin th cammano's class?
~JeNnI~
from a 973 phone number, Friday, February 1, 9:58 AM

Yooo mad bored cona lmaoo
~JeNnI~
from a 973 phone number, Friday, February 1, 10:05 AM

Yet another trademarked sig line! Those little tildes and the alternating capital and lower case letters really serves to draw JeNnI's text messages together into a cohesive package. I rarely sign my texts at all. I obviously need to work on my personal branding.

Quick word of note, howevver: JeNnI, "lmao" means "laughing my ass off." Preumably, "lmaoo" means something like "laughing my ass off outrageously." You cannot be "mad bored" if you are laughing so hard. Think it over.

hey dorkiss kiss cause you like to kiss peeps and you like to or wish you could make out with chris brown(chris breezy) ***A.E.C***
from a 541 phone number, Thursday, January 31, 1:22 AM

Hey little person...I LOVE CARSON! ***A.E.C***
from a 541 phone number, Thursday, January 31, 1:27 AM

hey whats up with you today? I love texting on this phone and I could text forever on it!!!!! ***A.E.C***
from a 541 phone number, Thursday. January 31, 2:54 PM

A.E.C has waaaaay more energy than I ever do. A.E.C also has this "sig line" with the little asterisks and so on, which I think gives her text messages a real "trademark."

Do you know who Chris Brown is? I did not until I googled him. Here are two fascinating sites I unearthed:

a discussion among preteen girls about how much they love Chris Breezy
Chris Breezy performing a song and dance number on FOX

Leila wishes she could make out with him, you know.

his pp r a piece of shit
from a 917 phone number, Wednesday, January 30, 9:56 PM

What are his "pp," that 917 thinks they're so shitty? His people? Papers? Principles? What are other words with two "p"s in them?

Let's meet.
from a 404 phone number, Wednesday, January 30, 4:25

I imagine 404 will interpret Leila's failure to respond as a tacit "Let's... not."

Can you practice @ lunch today?
from a 734 phone number, Wednesday, January 30, 9:07 AM

I kind of miss the days of lunchtime practices. It was always a nice break from classes to go, like, have a practice debate round. I wish people would do that with me nowadays, but nowadays I rarely even take lunch, let alone a lunchtime long enough to practice anything other than eating.

Wer is it
from a 917 phone number, Monday, January 28, 1:19 PM

Where did you last see it? Have you checked all your pockets?

Hi leila i m sad to know u r not well hope u recover quickly Luv u
dad
from a 301 phone number, Monday, January 28, 12:14 PM

This text comforted me as I, much like the intended Leila, have had a touch of a cold this past week. I sort of wish she could have received this so she could see what a nice guy her dad is, but still I'm not above appropriating well-wishes directed toward someone else.