Door open
from an 865 phone number, Tuesday, March 18, 8:39 PM
Oh, I don't know, probably 865 and Leila are house robbers. Leila stands watch while 865 jimmies open the door, and then once he's gotten it open, he texts her to let her know it's time to come running in with a sack so they can loot the place. I'm not sure if that's exactly it, but I'm sure it's something along those lines.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
My internet/computer is being wat retarded :/ good luck studying we'll talk more later babycakes! *muah!*
from a 714 phone number, Tuesday, March 18, 1:44 AM
Yet another exciting emoticon! :/ That wrestler who may or may not have been from Massachusetts could sure learn a thing or two from this text.
Meanwhile, what I notice about this text is that it was typed out on a keyboard, rather than via predictive texting or via the 'tap' method. Can you tell how we know? (The answer is the word 'wat'. You see why?)
from a 714 phone number, Tuesday, March 18, 1:44 AM
Yet another exciting emoticon! :/ That wrestler who may or may not have been from Massachusetts could sure learn a thing or two from this text.
Meanwhile, what I notice about this text is that it was typed out on a keyboard, rather than via predictive texting or via the 'tap' method. Can you tell how we know? (The answer is the word 'wat'. You see why?)
Fwd: FWD: Tears may dry, Years may fly, but my love for my girl will never die. Send this to all ur girls! Incuding me.
from a 415 phone number, Monday, March 17, 7:28 PM
This MIGHT be a sort of sweet poem to send to your girlfriend-- and by "sweet," I probably mean "retarded"-- but it loses any redeeming qualities when it's forwarded to "all ur girls." "My love for my girl will never die, and by 'my girl,' I mean everyone in my contacts list with two X chromosomes"? No, I'm sorry, you get only ONE GIRL. That's the rules.
from a 415 phone number, Monday, March 17, 7:28 PM
This MIGHT be a sort of sweet poem to send to your girlfriend-- and by "sweet," I probably mean "retarded"-- but it loses any redeeming qualities when it's forwarded to "all ur girls." "My love for my girl will never die, and by 'my girl,' I mean everyone in my contacts list with two X chromosomes"? No, I'm sorry, you get only ONE GIRL. That's the rules.
i'm warming up...opening at 220lbs :] it's cold in rhode island :P hope you're having a good day!<3
MASSmonster
from a 732 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:53 AM
So I guess this guy is a wrestler, and he was at a competition this past Sunday. By MASSmonster, I think he might mean that he's from Massachusetts (which would make sense geographically, since he's competing in Rhode Island). But he could also mean that he is a monster of mass, which would be true, since 220 pounds is an awful lot of mass to carry around.
What I like most about 732's text is that he ends every sentence with a different emoticon. There's the somewhat square smile :], the stuck-out tongue :P, and of course the classic heart <3. 571 speeds through a number of different emotions and facial expressions at astonishing speed.
MASSmonster
from a 732 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:53 AM
So I guess this guy is a wrestler, and he was at a competition this past Sunday. By MASSmonster, I think he might mean that he's from Massachusetts (which would make sense geographically, since he's competing in Rhode Island). But he could also mean that he is a monster of mass, which would be true, since 220 pounds is an awful lot of mass to carry around.
What I like most about 732's text is that he ends every sentence with a different emoticon. There's the somewhat square smile :], the stuck-out tongue :P, and of course the classic heart <3. 571 speeds through a number of different emotions and facial expressions at astonishing speed.
what u doin? i will call u at lunch luv ya givshayla a kiss for me and tell her daddy loves hers
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:31 AM
mmm cheesecake factory
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 7:20 PM
night night luv ya
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:26 PM
we're loading on the plane
from a 571 phone number, Monday, March 17, 9:30 AM
Ah, the continuing adventures of 571, a man who left on a trip on Friday morning and returned home on Monday morning. A man with a daughter named Shayla and a wife named Leila. A man who loves, among other things, drinking whiskey at 8:30 AM and eating at the Cheesecake Factory. I feel like we are so close, 571 guy. I have only one question: If you forgot your cell phone charger while on this trip (as you told me on Friday), then how the hell did you manage to send SO MANY texts?
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:31 AM
mmm cheesecake factory
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 7:20 PM
night night luv ya
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:26 PM
we're loading on the plane
from a 571 phone number, Monday, March 17, 9:30 AM
Ah, the continuing adventures of 571, a man who left on a trip on Friday morning and returned home on Monday morning. A man with a daughter named Shayla and a wife named Leila. A man who loves, among other things, drinking whiskey at 8:30 AM and eating at the Cheesecake Factory. I feel like we are so close, 571 guy. I have only one question: If you forgot your cell phone charger while on this trip (as you told me on Friday), then how the hell did you manage to send SO MANY texts?
Saturday, March 15, 2008
HELLO. THIS IS HAT AND BRIEFCASE AND BOXCAR AN CHAIR. IS THE HEN SAFE?
from a 339 phone number, Saturday, March 15, 11:52 AM
Obviously, Leila is a kidnapper, and 399 is her co-conspirator, inquiring into the status of their charge. "THE HEN" is the code name for the kidnapped child. HAT, BRIEFCASE, BOXCAR, and CHAIR are code names for other people in on this kidnapping ring.
Since Leila did not receive this text, and was thus unable to verify the safety of THE HEN, everyone else has gone into Crisis Management Mode, enacting a dangerous Contingency Plan that they had sworn never to try except in the extreme instance that Leila not text them back.
(I don't know if you've ever considered this, but it's exhausting to sit here and make this stuff up all the time.)
from a 339 phone number, Saturday, March 15, 11:52 AM
Obviously, Leila is a kidnapper, and 399 is her co-conspirator, inquiring into the status of their charge. "THE HEN" is the code name for the kidnapped child. HAT, BRIEFCASE, BOXCAR, and CHAIR are code names for other people in on this kidnapping ring.
Since Leila did not receive this text, and was thus unable to verify the safety of THE HEN, everyone else has gone into Crisis Management Mode, enacting a dangerous Contingency Plan that they had sworn never to try except in the extreme instance that Leila not text them back.
(I don't know if you've ever considered this, but it's exhausting to sit here and make this stuff up all the time.)
whhere r u how r u i miss u by!
from a 917 phone number, Satuerday, March 15, 10:53 AM
This text brilliantly, and with minimal punctuation, manages to combine some of the most commonly texted statements. Namely:
Where are you?
How are you?
I miss you.
Bye.
If only there were a "FWD" in here, then this would really be a classic example of what text messages look like.
from a 917 phone number, Satuerday, March 15, 10:53 AM
This text brilliantly, and with minimal punctuation, manages to combine some of the most commonly texted statements. Namely:
Where are you?
How are you?
I miss you.
Bye.
If only there were a "FWD" in here, then this would really be a classic example of what text messages look like.
im chillin at the airport drinkin a jack and coke
from a 571 phone number, Friday, March 14, 8:35 AM
im 36000 feet in the air
from a 571 phone number, Friday, March 14, 11:55 AM
what u doing?
from a 571 phone number, Friday, March 14, 1:34 PM
i forgot my charger so ima have to keep my phone off unless i call u to conserve energy
from a 571 phone number, Friday, March 14, 1:38 PM
I love this hour-by-hour recounting of 571's plane trip. I wonder how many more texts 571 would have sent, had he not forgotten his phone charger. This was four spread over the course of five hours. If this was an overnight trip, I feel like I could have gotten at least twenty.
God, I hate it when I forget to pack my phone charger, don't you?
from a 571 phone number, Friday, March 14, 8:35 AM
im 36000 feet in the air
from a 571 phone number, Friday, March 14, 11:55 AM
what u doing?
from a 571 phone number, Friday, March 14, 1:34 PM
i forgot my charger so ima have to keep my phone off unless i call u to conserve energy
from a 571 phone number, Friday, March 14, 1:38 PM
I love this hour-by-hour recounting of 571's plane trip. I wonder how many more texts 571 would have sent, had he not forgotten his phone charger. This was four spread over the course of five hours. If this was an overnight trip, I feel like I could have gotten at least twenty.
God, I hate it when I forget to pack my phone charger, don't you?
Thursday, March 13, 2008
FWD: FWD: In 2009 the government will start killing all mentally challenged people. I started crying when i thought of you. Run Little buddy!
from a 614 phone number, Thursday, March 13, 5:01 PM
Remember a few weeks ago when I was commenting that I receive very few political texts, and that I have no sense of what political parties Leila Texters tend to belong to, or which social issues they care about? Well, this text... doesn't change that at all.
from a 614 phone number, Thursday, March 13, 5:01 PM
Remember a few weeks ago when I was commenting that I receive very few political texts, and that I have no sense of what political parties Leila Texters tend to belong to, or which social issues they care about? Well, this text... doesn't change that at all.
FWD: I luv u. U have 20 min 2 tell 10 ppl u luv them, (including me) or 2mrw will be the worst day! I LUV U, GO!
from an 818 phone number, Thursday, March 13, 11:58 AM
I didn't forward this on to ten people, so I'll report back to let you know if tomorrow ends up being the worst day. I hope it doesn't, since I really can't afford to have the worst day tomorrow. Especially not if I'm going off to Williamsburg in the evening to stalk people at their 30th birthday parties.
from an 818 phone number, Thursday, March 13, 11:58 AM
I didn't forward this on to ten people, so I'll report back to let you know if tomorrow ends up being the worst day. I hope it doesn't, since I really can't afford to have the worst day tomorrow. Especially not if I'm going off to Williamsburg in the evening to stalk people at their 30th birthday parties.
Boomers tomorrow night for swing?
from a 970 phone number, Wednesday, March 12, 6:06 PM
I googled various combinations like "boomers swing dancing" and "boomers colorado dance club," but all that came up was a bunch of stuff about Baby Boomers, and how they love to dance. (Which is true: my parents are Boomers, and they DO love to dance.)
So I don't know, 970, are you sure "Boomers" is a real place? Or maybe it's one of her friend's names. Maybe her friend Boomer runs a Thursday night swing dance party in his house in Colorado. We can only hope.
from a 970 phone number, Wednesday, March 12, 6:06 PM
I googled various combinations like "boomers swing dancing" and "boomers colorado dance club," but all that came up was a bunch of stuff about Baby Boomers, and how they love to dance. (Which is true: my parents are Boomers, and they DO love to dance.)
So I don't know, 970, are you sure "Boomers" is a real place? Or maybe it's one of her friend's names. Maybe her friend Boomer runs a Thursday night swing dance party in his house in Colorado. We can only hope.
Howdy! This week im turning 30, so Friday night its on. Dinner @ Fette Sau@ 8pm, drinks @ spuyten duyvil @ 930, parts unknown later on. Rsvp for dinner only.
from a 323 phone number, Tuesday, March 11, 5:21 PM
OMG these places are in Brooklyn! I could totally ATTEND this guy's 30th birthday party! How amazing would that be, if I just showed up at this Williamsburg restaurant tomorrow night at 8 PM and was like, "What? You invited me. I have the text right here."
The intended Leila must also live in NYC. Do you think she could possibly be my DOPPELGANGER? If I show up for dinner and drinks, people will mistake me for her? Hilarity will ensue?
If only I knew 323's NAME! I can't just show up at Spuyten Duyvil tomorrow and say, "Hey. Is there a 30th birthday party happening around here?"
But I really, really want to.
from a 323 phone number, Tuesday, March 11, 5:21 PM
OMG these places are in Brooklyn! I could totally ATTEND this guy's 30th birthday party! How amazing would that be, if I just showed up at this Williamsburg restaurant tomorrow night at 8 PM and was like, "What? You invited me. I have the text right here."
The intended Leila must also live in NYC. Do you think she could possibly be my DOPPELGANGER? If I show up for dinner and drinks, people will mistake me for her? Hilarity will ensue?
If only I knew 323's NAME! I can't just show up at Spuyten Duyvil tomorrow and say, "Hey. Is there a 30th birthday party happening around here?"
But I really, really want to.
Monday, March 10, 2008
O too much drama to text...want to walk later?
from an 865 phone number, Monday, March 10, 10:33 AM
Yes, totally I want to walk later. You used the word "drama," and my interest has been piqued. But unfortunately I don't live all the close to you, so please can't you text about the drama, anyway? I know it would take you a lot of key strokes, and I am sorry about that, but I would be a very receptive audience, I swear it.
from an 865 phone number, Monday, March 10, 10:33 AM
Yes, totally I want to walk later. You used the word "drama," and my interest has been piqued. But unfortunately I don't live all the close to you, so please can't you text about the drama, anyway? I know it would take you a lot of key strokes, and I am sorry about that, but I would be a very receptive audience, I swear it.
hi
from an 808 phone number, Monday, March 10, 12:02 AM
What. WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT? You have the gift of LANGUAGE, the most precious gift OF ALL, and you choose to waste it on texts like this one? hi"??? Didn't your mother ever tell you: If you don't have anything interesting to say, don't say anything at all.
from an 808 phone number, Monday, March 10, 12:02 AM
What. WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT? You have the gift of LANGUAGE, the most precious gift OF ALL, and you choose to waste it on texts like this one? hi"??? Didn't your mother ever tell you: If you don't have anything interesting to say, don't say anything at all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
