What was 4 social studies homework
from a 650 phone number, Tuesday, March 31, 9:15 PM

Points to anyone who has a theory as to what role the numeral 4 plays in this message. I guess if you remove the first letter from the word "four" you wind up with "our." Does that explain it?

Has she said.
from an 832 phone number, Monday, March 30, 5:11 PM

No. Has she said what? No, I doubt it.

Its mary jane pls tell mr c cant b thr 2day in hosp since saturday w herniated disc thx
from a 201 phone number, Monday, March 30, 9:25 AM

Oh, no! Feel better, 201. And I'm sure Mr. C will understand your absence-- that is a damn good excuse for absence.

Thanks for dropping the girls off last night!
from a 646 phone number, Sunday, March 29, 4:26 PM

You're welcome! It was the least I could do.

This is a toast to us! For those who love us, the bitches who hate us, and the lucky muthafukas who get to fuck us! Toast me back!
(IM THE BITCH)
from a 513 phone number, Saturday, March 28, 12:53 PM

If the people who fuck 513 and Leila are muthafukas, does that mean that 513 and Leila are both muthas?

hey whatz up .are you wearing make up tonight
from a 609 phone number, Friday, March 27, 5:01 PM

Ideally, if you're wearing make-up properly, people won't even really notice it. Ideally you'll just look like a prettier version of yourself. So you shouldn't have to inquire into whether your friends are wearing make-up because you're afraid that you might be the only one-- if you do it right, people will process your make-up-wearing only on a subconscious level.

It kind of reminds me of this text of yesteryear. Teenage girls spend a lot of time worrying about this.

sorry 2 cut u off earlier. this is trip 2 in 12 hrs. she's havin vomiting n diareah(?). not sure if they'l keep this time.we'll see.
from a 520 phone number, Thursday, March 26, 2:43 PM

Oh, no. Whoever 520 is talking about, I hope she feels better. Vomiting and diarrhea are painful, especially if they're bad enough that you have to go to the hospital (or the vet?) twice in twelve hours. Heal quickly!

Oh, and, yeah, 520 is right: Diarrhea is a hard word to spell. I actually had to look it up in Meriam-Webster's. It'd make a good (if humiliating) spelling bee word.

Hi baby boomer and secret prayer partner.how r u? we're fine.
from a 973 phone number, Thursday, March 26, 1:23 PM

Is Leila's 973's partner in secret prayers? Or is she his prayer partner, secretly? Either way, are they in some secret cult (of Baby Boomers)?

Learn how to send pics txt
from a 541 phone number, Thursday, March 26, 1:43 AM

You're the best!
from a 541 phone number, Thursday, March 26, 1:48 AM

I wonder if Leila is the best because she learned how to send "pics txt"?

Flo i switched to verizon and now have unlimited txtng. I did this for you, for us
from a 516 phone number, Wednesday, March 25, 8:02 AM

Flow powww i swear i can text now are u getting thissss dooset daram
from a 516 phone number, Wednesday, May 25, 11:51 AM

Oh my gosh, I love the melodrama. "I did this for you, for us." It sounds so sincere, so somber. Who would ever guess that what 516 did for Leila was, uh, switch phone services? Now, if that is not true love, then what is.

i keep calling but no one is answering
biohazard
from an 831 phone number, Tuesday, March 24, 9:10 PM

Huh, that's weird. Have you tried... texting?

hey bffs by the way what are you wearing tomorrow for the meeting with the scrapbook let me know asap
from a 609 phone number, Monday, March 23, 7:24 PM

Whenever Leslie and I show up to work wearing similar outfits, we like to pretend that we planned it the night before via text message. This amuses us. But it amuses me more to think that some girls actually do that.

Good morning my dead khale. How is your day?
from a 949 phone number, Monday, March 23, 1:47 PM

Do we think Khale is her last name? I couldn't immediately find a Leila Khale on facebook (though, to be fair, I wasn't trying all that hard). I guess it could also be a nickname. I did find that Leila Khaled is a member of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine... but I assume that is a different individual.

I am bringing you cookiess
from a 916 phone number, Monday, March 23, 12:03 PM

God, I wish you would.

What is your fav song?
from a 952 phone number, Sunday, March 22, 5:21 PM

This is the hardest question in the world. Answering any math question is easier than answering this. Does 952 really expect Leila to have one answer here? Does 952 really have an answer? Does anyone with any taste in music actually have one favorite song?

This is the answer I'll give. I can think of dozens, if not hundreds of songs I love desperately. This is just one of them. TURN UP THE VOLUME BEFORE LISTENING.

Your turn, readers. I am kind of interested to know what some of your favorite songs are. But if you claim to have only ONE favorite song... then I am suspicious of you.

hey leila. this is cameron. im going to come over in about 10 minutes.
from an 805 phone number, Saturday, March 21, 2:43 PM

What a surprise it must have been for Leila when Cameron showed up unannounced at 3 PM. Let's hope Leila wasn't in the shower.

can u come 2 my house tomorrow @ 10 to 12 o,clock. u can come in ur pj's
from a 973 phone number, Saturday, March 21, 12:30 PM

No, I cannot. If I'm going to stay in my PJs, I'm going to stay in bed. And if I'm going to go to your house, I'm going to at least throw on a pair of jeans... but, let's get real, I won't be at your house from 10 to 12 tomorrow. I will be asleep.

happy nourooz! with lots of love, armita
from a 714 phone number, Saturday, March 21, 2:13 AM

Translation: Happy Spring!

buffa leilaaaa im not getting home till sat nighttt so just make plans ill see u around 10 ish :(
from a 203 phone number, Friday, March 20, 7:02 PM

This chick here. Too bad, I was kind of hoping 203 was calling her "buffa" just to indicate that they are bffs. We do this a lot at my office, call people our "buf-fa-fas." Right, I know, we are trendsetters.

Im doing this purely cuz it is a healthy lifestyle!
from a 719 phone number, Friday, March 20, 1:35 PM

What a cruel world, where 719 has to defend via text her decision to be a freegan.