Heyyy dude

what5s up diggyhhdig. Kliterallym. U hdobt knkiw whi yiu are but i reli like ukn.
from a 908 phone number, Wednesday, June 9, 7:25 AM EST

Possibly this says, "Hey dude. What's up, diggy dig. OK literally, I don't know who you are but I really like u."

Possibly.

Fwd : FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Ur so beautiful.(: The boy u luv will show how much he needs u in bout 2hrs. But u hav to tell 10 GURLS they are beautiful.!
from an 801 phone number, Wednesday, June 9, 8"04 PM EST

I hate that the only reason a girl would tell another girl that she is beautiful is in order to attract the attention of the boy she luvs. Can't you ever just want to boost your friends' self-esteem? Does there have to be a payoff (in the form of boys) in it for you?

I thrue up like 20 minutes ago im not kiding
from a 951 phone number, Saturday, June 5, 10:16 AM EST

No one accused you of kidding, 951. I did not think you were kidding.

And DONT COME HOME LATE Put rocky and his Food inn
from an 818 phone number, Saturday, Juna 5, 2:03 AM EST

818 is a broken fucking record, and she will never learn how to spell the preposition "in."

Marni wants to hang out so she cant know im coming over lol i pretended im too tired to hang out
from a 408 phone number, Friday, June 4, 11:11 PM EST

Oh my God. I hate that this text message exists, because this is what I'm always terrified is actually going on whenever my friends can't hang out with me.

ME: (on the phone) Hey, you want to hang out tonight?
ONE OF MY FRIENDS: Oh, I totally would, but I'm wicked tired.
ME: Don't worry about it. Have a good night!
THE REST OF MY FRIENDS: (who are with my one friend): LOL Leila will never catch on, will she?

THANKS FOR FEEDING INTO MY INSECURITIES, 408. Bitch.

Jaafari FWD: Fwd:Fwd: LASTDAY!!! fwd this to everyone that gose to springer and you will have a suprise you will find very exciting happen to you today!!
from a 513 phone number, Thursday, June 3, 7:36 AM EST

Is the surprise "school's out for summer"? Because that doesn't surprise me, based on the bit where is says "LASTDAY" and all.

girl im so done with this facebook note that aisha put up....when i throw this pussy you better not start duckn....what!
from a 301 phone number, Tuesday, June 1, 6"01 AM EST

yes but i know him i'm sure he does not want this 2 get out or 4 tracy 2 find out
from a 301 phone number, Tuesday, June 1, 4:02 PM EST

Firstly, I really want to know what piece of information he does not want to get out. Secondly, "when i throw this pussy you better not start duckn....what!" is going to be my new life motto.

U totally missed it. Patrick fell off the side of the top of the slide and landed on his head
from a 443 phone number, Monday, May 31, 8:42 PM EST

I can't tell whether the intonation here is supposed to be like, "Haha! Dude, you totally missed it-- Patrick fell off the slide and landed on his head, what a SPAZ!" Or whether it's like, "You totally missed watching your son, and so he fell off the slide and got a concussion-- nice fucking going, Leila."

Your an idiot
from a 774 phone number, Monday, May 31, 5:40 PM EST

youuuuuu smelllllllllllll nastyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from a 760 phone number, Saturday, June 5, 12:12 PM EST

I am criticized on all fronts. It's exhausting.

Please record Joy Behr at 9p on 202 or 204. Dolly is suppose to be on it. Also Cakeboss new episode tonight. Thanks Mom
from a 727 phone number, Monday, May 31, 9:11 AM EST

Is there anything worse than a mom who has DVR but doesn't know how to use it?

So, did any of you see either of these shows? Were they good?

hey girl since tony jus goin out 2morrow night do u think on ur was bak from work u can meet me for sushi and it'll jus be me and u for a girl dinner.
from a 931 phone number, Friday, June 4, 4:54 PM EST

feel really bad jus met the mom u would really like her she's normal the dad is still weird though lol.. but it wasnt that bad..i guess kids r ok
from a 931 phone number, Saturday, June 5, 9:53 PM EST

I like to know what 931 is doing every weekend night. Last Friday some dude showed up and it sucked. This Friday she (hopefully) met Leila for a girl dinner. Tonight she babysat. Weekendz! w00t!

hey ..i think u are full of crap. sending messages to your name doesnt work because u never answer when i send them to "leita" only when i send to ur #!
from a 360 phone number, Sunday, May 30, 10:45 PM EST

So this was kind of a weird exchange. I couldn't tell if this was a person trying to reach some other Leila, or if it was a person who reads this blog who was accusing me of being "full of crap" and just making up all these strangers' text messages. So I texted back, "haha what?" And then got this in reply:

well if it works how come u never answer you booger?:) hows married life? maybe ur just too busy knockin boots
from a 360 phone number, Sunday, May 30, 10:47 PM EST

So now I know this was definitely for some other Leila, because I am not married, and also I am not that busy knocking boots.

my aunt died last nite
from a 267 phone number, Sunday. May 30, 1:24 PM EST

& what a BEAUTIFUL day 4 a wedding !!!
from an 813 phone number, Sunday, May 30, 1:27 PM EST

Rites of passage occurring just allll over the place on the Leila Texts. Whew. It's a good thing I don't send greeting cards whenever something like this happens; it would leave me no time to blog!

hey chick ru out or drinkin at home
from a 931 phone number, Sunday, May 30, 10:42 PM EST

guess who jus txt me...yup u prolly guessed right...he said he' sorry bout fri nite ughhhh.. jus was starting to for get bout him
from a 931 phone number, Tursday, June 3, 1:08 PM EST

So 931 is referring to this Friday night, when, as we may recall, SOME GUY showed up and it, quote, "sux." So now I really want details. What did he do on Friday that sux so bad that he needs to apologize for it now? And will 931 ever forgive him? Stay tuned!

Put rocky and his Food inn
from an 818 phone number, Friday, June 4, 1:03 AM EST

And DONT COME HOME LATE
from an 818 phone number, Friday, June 4, 1:04 AM EST

818 is demanding an insanely high level of responsibility from Leila. These are just unrealistic expectations. I'd rebel.

Hey watz up cody is trin 2 fill austin tiddies and it iz kinda nasty
MRS. BEIBER
from a 205 phone number, Friday, June 4, 1:26 PM EST

Wow, that's pretty exciting, that I just got a text message from Justin Bieber's mom. I feel so well-connected. I feel like one less lonely girl.

your not having a phone i can call you on is extremely frustrating. r u mad at me? u don't answer.the phone and seldom your email!11mom
from a 425 phone number, Friday, May 28, 10:38 PM EST

This seems like the email that every mother wants to send to her daughter. Like all the time. I think mothers expect their children to be a lot better at responding to calls and emails than we actually are.

WeLl kamren got th3 back flip and her showing it off and making my phone look like a piece of shiv
Th3 B3st!
from a 413 phone number, Friday, May 28, 7:33 PM EST

Apparently this is a phone, not a gymnastics trick. Who knew.

TRANSFQue haces leyla trabajando o en casa con los nino
from a 760 phone number, Thursday, May 27, 7:51 PM EST

Thank God, another opportunity for me to show off my uncanny Spanish translation abilities. "What does Leila working or in the house with the boy." YOU'RE WELCOME.

R u still there.
Rocket power
from a 505 phone number, Wednesday, May 26, 4:44 PM EST

Do we think 505 actually forces Leila to call him "Rocket Power"? Do we think that's a problem for their friendship?