I AM FEELING LONELY AND ABANDONED BY U GUYS.
IS EVERYTHING okthere?

gramma
from a 973 phone number, Tuesday, July 19, 7:28 PM EST

In short: Leila just got cut out of Gramma's will.

Phone bill came
from a 478 phone number, Sunday, July 17, 10:21 AM EST

Shit. Time to pawn some bracelets, I guess.

m On our way home. Should be there about 830 lin n jeff
from a 312 phone number, Saturday, July 16, 7:28 PM EST

m We r home finally thx for watching lacy will catch up w u tomorrow lin n jeff
from a 312 phone number, Saturday, July 16, 11:42 PM EST

So I think that Lin and Jeff are a couple, and Lacy is a dog, and Leila was watching her while Lin and Jeff were on vacation. Option B: Lacy is a cat.

nazemi is this leila nazemi?
from a 408 phone number, Friday, July 15, 3:34 PM EST

No.

No frenz 2 the rescue....i do hope it was worth it
from an 805 phone number, Thursday, July 14, 2:36 AM EST

"I hope flirting with that creepy older man in exchange for a drink was worth it when none of your friends came to your rescue and you wound up having to make out with him at the bar."

Dont forget ur bathing suit today go swimming with us!!!!
from a 607 phone number, Wednesday, July 13, 7:58 AM EST

This makes way more sense than that weird text message about boots. It is July. It is hot. Let's all go swimming.

Forgot to ask, did you see the space launch?
from a 614 phone number, Saturday, July 9, 11:14 PM EST

Presumably this is referring to the July 8 space shuttle launch. If you didn't get to see it yourself, here it is on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3deA3BXAnHs.

What boots?
from a 501 phone number, Monday, July 4, 7:51 PM EST

Yeah, seriously: WHAT BOOTS? It is July. It is way too hot for boots of any variety.

Jusg re-watched bros bloom. fell asleep again. still dont quite get it.
from a 224 phone number, Friday, July 1, 10:11 PM EST

IMDB says "The Brothers Bloom are the best con men in the world, swindling millionaires with complex scenarios of lust and intrigue. Now they've decided to take on one last job - showing a beautiful and eccentric heiress the time of her life with a romantic adventure that takes them around the world." I probably would not understand it, either, 224. I am bad at understanding heist movies. But at least I might be able to stay awake.

Can u buy me 3 or 4 packs of cigs? Will pay u back in a few days. Seneca full flavor 100s is only 3.84 at Tobacco Barn. Carl
from a 409 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 8:04 AM EST

I like to believe that, by being the wrong Leila to receive this text, Carl did not get three or four packs of cigarettes, and thus I have saved at least one man from lung cancer.

Hey so I got canceled on 2nite for bbysittin, Need a sitter?
from a 480 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 3:48 PM EST

Just think how much easier the Babysitters Club's job would have been if cell phones had been invented. For one thing, they wouldn't have had to always meet in Claudia's messy-ass room, just because she was the only one with her own phone line. For another, their clients could have scheduled sitting jobs all the time, instead of just having to call between 5:30 and 6:00 on Mondays and Wednesdays (and probably getting a busy signal). They could have run the whole business through an online sign-up form. The books would have been extremely more boring, but those seven girls would have totally raked in the cash.

hi remember to be ready by 130 please eat a bowl of cereal or some toast ok?
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 4:03 PM EST

"Not only do I want you to eat breakfast, but I want you to eat specific types of breakfast. Please eat a bowl of cereal or some toast. But do not DARE to eat some eggs or fruit. Do not even test my patience like that, Leila."

Mark loves you!
from a 267 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 9:02 PM EST

OMG, is it not so embarrassing when Leila finds out about your secret crush on her?

Were we supposed to do the stpry thingy over the weekend and are you coming to the movies
from a 347 phone number, Sunday, July 24, 7:10 PM EST

I assume this is a typo of "story thingy." But if you were supposed to do it over the weekend, 347, you are a little bit late.

hi leila how are you we canceled michelles part and we ar going to do it tommorow can you come please?
from a 949 phone number, Sunday, July 24, 7:25 PM EST

Bummer for Michelle. Having her part cancelled, and all. Or possibly her party? Canceling a party sounds even worse.

Community courier ad: new 2bdrm apt on horse farm. coatesville pa
from a 484 phone number, Monday, July 25, 8:49 PM EST

Buy it. BUY IT! It is an apartment on a HORSE FARM! Think how goddamn halcyon that would be!

Hey whatz up
Pandas are my life!
Jenny
from a 516 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 1:16 PM EST

Hey how are u
Pandas are my life!
Jenny
from a 516 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 1:29 PM EST

Hey leila how are u
Pandas are my life!
Jenny
from a 516 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 1:37 PM EST

hey leila are u going to church ttomorrow maybe after we can do something together
Pandas are my life!
Jenny
from a 516 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 1:41 PM EST

Hey leila whats up
Pandas are my life!
Jenny
from a 516 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 1:54 PM EST

hey leila call me on my cell
Pandas are my life!
Jenny
from a 516 phone number, Saturday, July 23, 2:47 PM EST

Hey leils running late sorry leaving in few minutesz ill call u when we are almost in town
Pandas are my life!
Jenny
from a 516 phone number, Monday, July 25, 3:12 PM EST

Really, Jenny? Are you sure that pandas are your life? Are you sure your life isn't "texting Leila to see what's up"?

And now for a collection of recent text messages about various health conditions:

Had a tooth pulled this am how was yr visit with Alesia
from a 651 phone number, Monday, July 11, 2:00 PM EST

li'l just now came out of surgery... everything went well. they pulled out 2 teeth and wired his jaws... they need to keep an eye on his breathing...
from an 808 phone number, Thursday, July 14, 2:26 AM EST

Mom okay. Cardiac cath went good. Waiting for surgeron to discuss plan of care with us
from a 678 phone number, Tuesday, July 19, 7:56 PM EST

had mystery stomach pains all night-not sure why. will be home for morning-maybe all day. txt you later when i know better.
from a 617 phone number, Wednesday, July 20, 7:21 AM EST

If I had to pick one of these health issues, I would go with the pulled tooth. To be honest, though, none of these options sound very pleasant.

And now for a short collection of recent text messages about pets:

Thanx again guys...sorry to freak out...shes just a baby and i can bear to lose another pup prematurely.
from a 412 phone number, Monday, July 18, 12:24 AM EST

Better not forget a bigger cage for your bird prolly be cheaper down that way
from a 218 phone number, Wednesday, July 20, 6:40 PM EST

This is like the week of depressing texts. First we have the girl who has never read a book in her LIFE, and now we have puppies dying? What's next, rainbows that infect you with cancer?

wazzz up my homie???? i just read my first book ever not even 4 school i never really read the books i just asked people what it wz about
?Zniflower?
from a 302 phone number, Wednesday, July 20, 6:46 PM EST

As a young adult author and editor, I find this text message INCREDIBLY DEPRESSING. That said, I am quite curious about what book has caused 302 to break her never-reading streak. Ten bucks says it's The Hunger Games.