Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Mission accomplished, the text went well, I'm in!
from a 202 phone number, Tuesday, December 16, 10:48 AM

I'm hoping that 202 has a crush on some guy so for her first "move" she sent him a text message, and it "went well"-- maybe he responded to her in some encouraging way?-- so when she says "I'm in!" she means that she and her crush are going to go out on a date.

Currently accepting alternate explanations, if you've got any.
MORE PIX PLZ.
from a 626 phone number, Sunday, December 14, 12L49 PM

Yeah. You're hot. Send more hot pix.
now did u get it
from a 646 phone number, Sunday, December 14, 12:21 PM

If your question is if Leila received your text message now that you have sent it a second time, the answer is still "no."

Sunday, December 14, 2008

hi im busy
Oz3baA sh3rIFf

from a 703 phone number, Saturday, December 13 8:54 PM

hi
Oz3baA sh3rIFf

from a 703 phone number, Sunday, December 14, 2:41 AM

Aaaaaaand it's NOT the last we heard from Oz3baA sh3rIFf, after all! Time to cry tears of relief/annoyance! Jesus, Oz3baA sh3rIFf, can't you take a hint? I might as well just change the name of this blog to The Oz3baA sh3rIF Texts and get it over with.
Do u need a ride?
Thursday, December 11, 6:44 PM

Yes! As always, I would love a ride anywhere if that means I don't need to take public transit. These texts from suburbia make me nostalgic for my car.
I am going to addisons til 530
from a 646 phone number, Thursday, December 11, 3:02 PM

Could be a friend's name. Could be a restaurant. Could be a store. Could be anywhere, really. "Addison's."
How d> friend party on friday in noho r u dwn. elsie's friends b day.booze ,dj, and moo....starts @10.
from an 818 number, Wednesday, December 10, 6:00 PM

I am always down for a party, friend, especially one involving booze and DJs. Not quite sure about moo. I looked it up on Urban Dictionary, but I can't imagine that 818 is asking Leila to come to Elsie's friend's party because there will be female breeders there.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

How s exam
from an 857 phone number, Tuesday, December 9, 2:20 PM

How are exams, ever? They suck.
hi i just set up voice chat on my cpu
Oz3baA sh3rIFf

from a 703 phone number, Monday, December 8, 9:21 PM

hihihi
Oz3baA sh3rIFf

from a 703 phone number, Tuesday, December 9, 9:48 PM

After more than two weeks of these frequent, thoughtful texts from Oz3baA sh3rIFf, I am finally cutting her free. I just texted her the news that her texts are not reaching Leila and that she will need to re-send them by pulling Leila's name out of her contacts list and etc. etc. I know, I know, we were all loving the Oz3baA sh3rIFf run so much, we all felt like we were really getting somewhere, really beginning to reach an understanding of her relationship with Leila... But, I'm sorry, dear readers, we must move on. That is the way of the Leila Texts.

Of course, Oz3baA sh3rIFf could turn out to be one of those obstinate idiots who keeps texting me even after I've texted her back to tell her not to. This may yet not be the last we hear of Oz3baA sh3rIFf. STAY TUNED.
Good morning! BONITA
from a 602 phone number, Monday, December 8, 12:55 PM

You @ lunch
from a 602 phone number, Tuesday, December 9, 3:25 PM

I can't tell if BONITA is 602 telling Leila that she's pretty (which would be sweet), or if it's 602's sig line (which would be self-aggrandizing).
I miss you! There is a hawaiian family singing on the unit. It;s beautiful and reminded me of you. :-)
from a 510 phone number, Sunday, December 7, 9:09 PM

I need a new pic of maya!
from a 510 phone number, Sunday, December 7, 9:12 PM

"The unit"? Is that like old-person slang for "the TV" or "the radio"?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Fwd:FWD: Fwd:Put it n ur mouth. Suck the hell out of it. Get the nut & spit it out. Gotta love sunflower seed
from a 419 phone number, Saturday, December 6, 9:12 PM

This is like the way dumber, way trashier, modern-day equivalent of "Just put your lips together and... blow." Remember the days when euphemisms had class?
me & fran r running late
from a 609 phone number, Saturday, December 6, 12:42 PM

If I had a dime every time for every time I've sent a text message saying that I'm "running late"... I'd be a very rich woman. But still a late one.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Hey you, are you going to church tonight?
from a 714 phone number, Wednesday, December 3, 4:45 PM

Are Wednesday evenings really a big church-going night? I never knew.
Do you want a cup of coffee?
from a 949 phone number, Wednesday, December 3, 4:24 PM

At 4:24 PM? Leila, you'd be up all night!
How r u feeling
from a 201 phone number, Wednesday, December 3m 4:39 AM

Pretty good, knock on wood. My roommate and Emily both have vicious colds, Kendra and Daphne both have stomach viruses, Joy spent the whole morning at the hospital, and Catherine is pregnant... but so far, fingers crossed, I am ailment-free. Thanks for your concern, 201.
we need respite for weds, sat, & mon nite. are u available any of these? tx mary kay
from a 319 phone number, Tuesday, December 2, 4:48 PM

Respite from what? Isn't a respite like a break, a reprieve? Maybe Mary Kay means respite care. That would explain why she's asking about availability. But this still leaves me with the question of: Who names their child Mary Kay? Hello. That is a make-up company.
Am home. All is well.
from a 303 phone number, Tuesday, December 2, 4:22 PM

Safely rest. God is nigh.
im on my way 2 the downstairs
Oz3baA sh3rIFf

from a 703 phone number, Tuesday, December 2, 8:36 AM

im eating cheez-its right now at 11:35
Oz3baA sh3rIFf

from a 703 phone number, Tuesday, December 2, 11:34 PM

Is 11:35 PM a normal or an abnormal time to eat Cheez-Its? 'Cause I kind of thought that was prime Cheez-It eating hour.

Also, does Oz3baA sh3rIFf never learn?
i am gonna kill baboon
from a 408 phone number, Monday, December 1, 11:08 PM

But would you miss baboon if it died tonight?