Oh dear lord make it stop
from a 617 phone number, Wednesday, April 22, 9:32 PM

Yet another beneficiary of Massachusetts who does not seem sufficiently appreciative of her good fortune.

=) I ROCK =]
from a 408 phone number, Wednesday, April 22, 8:55 PM

Hubris.

sucks how u were in mass today...
from a 207 phone number, Wednesday, April 22, 7:45 PM

Not really. Because Massachusetts is a wonderful, glorious state where dreams come true. How could being there ever suck?

hey i went to the gift shop nicks on the ride now
from a 978 phone number. Wednesday, April 22, 2:30 PM

Gift shops? Rides? Do you think 978 and Nick are at an amusement park? I HOPE they are!

ritas actn funny
**Cynthia**
from a 540 phone number, Tuesday, April 21, 5:47 PM

Funny how? I can't diagnose this (and neither would Leila be able to) without a little more in-depth description of Rita's symptoms.

don't you have pei fen?
from a 415 phone number, Tuesday, April 21, 4:46 PM

I googled this, and it seems like there are just some folks named Pei Fen. So what is 415 asking? Like, "Don't you have a person named Pei Fen, Leila?" No. I do not.

train leaves at 1027
from a 978 phone number, Tuesday, April 21, 2:42 PM

That's just a few minutes from now. If Leila runs, she can still make it.

Is Lisa and Bernice luncheon tomorrow or wed?
from a 661 phone number, Monday, April 20, 9:03 PM

You know my standards are low when I say, genuinely: Nice use of capitalization, 661!

Fwd: Fwd: A blessing is coming 2 u in the form of money. Dont ask questions just 4ward to 8 people & trust god. I did. You only get one chance! x
from a 513 phone number, Monday, April 20, 6:39 PM

I'm sorry. A blessing... in the form of money? Are you really allowed to know what form your blessing will take? Does knowing that it's money make you more likely to forward this text? Isn't that kind of materialistic? Also, "dont ask questions"? Is this money going to arrive in some immoral way, but Leila should just accept it and not ask questions?

It is pass time do u stil want it
from a 404 phone number, Monday, April 20, 10:28 AM

when do you think you will be home?
from a 404 phone number, Monday, April 20, 5:21 PM

Do we think "pass time" is a thing, or do we think 404 means "past time"?

Also: IT IS MY BIRTHDAY! For at least another 40 minutes. (I am not a subtle or humble birthday girl.)

Hey leila i know this is a weird question but is ur network Verizon?
>*michelle*<
from an 805 phone number, Friday, April 17, 8:41 PM

Now, I don't know what network Leila is on. But I do know that >*michelle*< is on Verizon. Because otherwise her text messages wouldn't come to me.

ok....so....Jack.....where is this going....serious? fun?....should we all meet each other? I'm just curious....
from a 207 phone number, Friday, April 17, 6:11 AM

I think you should meet Jack even if this is NOT serious. Why not? Does Leila just date so many goddamn dudes that you need to have a policy of meeting only the serious ones? And what if Leila doesn't even know yet where this is going? What if she thinks it's going to be serious, but Jack thinks it's only fun? What's with all these defining-the-relationship questions, 207?

hey guest what i look like a sheep
from a 609 phone number, Tuesday, April 14, 12:58 PM

hey whatz up
from a 609 phone number, Tuesday, April 14, 7:14 PM

I have twice now texted this kid to inform her that her texts are not reaching Leila. At this point I can conclude only that 609 is in fact trying to reach me, because she wants me to know that she looks like a sheep.

Danielle & Brian r still gonna be at the lakehouse tonite. So we rescheduled 6-30 tomorrow. Let me know if it works.
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, April 14, 11:53 AM

Isn't it a bit early in the season for lakehouses? This is a 917 number, which means NYC, and, trust me, I'm in NYC and I would not want to be on a beach today. And I am generally very pro beach houses.

Happy Easter to you & Mama Leila ! Sammy & Swift say hi!
from a 215 phone number, Sunday, April 12, 10:29 AM

And happy Easter to you, dear Leila Texters!

Leavingnebraska
from a 206 phone number, Saturday, April 11, 11:23 AM

206 is not a Nebraska area code (it's in Washington state, which I believe is within a thousand miles of Nebraska, though I have never been to either one). Darling 206, what were you doing in Nebraska? What does anyone do in Nebraska? I don't mean to be bratty and East Coast snobbish here, I am asking innocently: What is there to do for fun in Nebraska? Should I vacation there? Do I have any Nebraska readers to help me out here?

did u get the message i forward to u
from a 609 phone number, Friday, April 10, 12:04 PM

hey buddy whatz up
from a 609 phone number, Friday, April 10, 3:24 PM

hey u going skating tonight
from a 609 phone number, Friday, April 10, 6:46 PM

hey u going skating tonight let me know
from a 609 phone number, Friday, April 10, 7:03 PM

This kid again. Amara! We did not go skating in Saugus this weekend! FAILURE.

Were by the dress rooms says mom
Wilson
from a 989 phone number, Thursday, April 9, 12:52 PM

"Mom says we're by the dress rooms. I'm just taking her word for it. Personally, I look around our location in this store, and I have absolutely no way of telling if we're by the dress rooms or not. Because I am not a woman."

Hey i dont know if i can go tomorrow but ill know if i can go after school so can you wait til then for an answer?
from a 774 phone number, Wednesday, April 8, 9:31 PM

I don't know if I can wait. Maybe. Go where?

Car on 6th @ 15th
from a 201 phone number, Wednesday, April 8, 11:06 AM

Could be a text occurring right down the road from me. I live very close to the intersection of 6th and 15th. Of course, could also be a text occurring in any U.S. city with gridded streets. The only way to tell would have been for me to race down to the corner of 6th and 15th to see if there was a car there or not. But I am sorry to say that I fell down on that job.