oi honey! por favor me passa o endereco onde vc esta ficando e oendereco do Mike. mtos bjs te amo
from a 408 phone number, Tuesday, January 26, 6:38 PM

Portuguese? Or really poorly-typed Spanish.

hi leila, sorry um ka panhau telefone. :( um sta na nha doc, um tral som um skece poi kantu um sai. txomam hora ku puder.bjinhos.
from a 617 phone number, Thursday, January 28, 6:02 PM

This one is neither Spanish nor Portuguese. I know it is about something kind of bad, due to the frowny face. And I bet the word "um" means "and." Or "I." I can't think of any other words you'd use five times in one text.

...lasted this long..we could have gone on a double date!! Haha lmao yay! Now u have to introduce us!< 33 im so happy:)
from a 631 phone number, Sunday, January 24, 3:23 PM

Lot of potential explanations here. I'm choosing to go with: Leila has been waiting for some guy to ask her out for a long time, and now he FINALLY did, and Leila's friend 631 is really excited for her and can't wait to meet her new boyfriend. True/False?

Mrakovcich hi leila good morning hows it going today?
from an 860 phone number, Sunday, January 24, 8:21 AM

This girl. Fortunately there's only one. But why you'd want to spell out that entire last name instead of just pulling it from your contacts list is beyond me.

U dont like me anyway
from a 513 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 10:01 PM

Lending credence to 513's self-doubt is the fact that Leila never replied to this text message.

M Hey did you stop throwing up?
TEAM EDWARD!!!!
from a 208 phone number, Tuesday, January 26, 11:21 PM

Team Edward seems like not that contentious a position. I mean, is anyone out there actually on Team Jacob? Also, when you're already nauseated, is thinking about Bella and Edward's creepy romance really going to soothe your stomach at all?

thanks so much for inviting me to your party-jerk
from a 714 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 8:13 PM

It's cool-- I wasn't invited, either.

can u or will pick me up 8 or 8.30 at donna s? am on the plane at dallas. thnx mom
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 5:28 PM

I replied to this with my standard, "Sorry, your text came to me instead of Leila, please resend by pulling her name out of your contacts list. Do not spell it out." 425 responded with this:

can u pick me up 8 or 8.30 at donna's? willcall on way home am on the plane in dallas.lol mom
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 5:32 PM

I am charmed by the fact that she tried. She clearly rephrased and retyped this whole message. But she still did not send it to Leila, is the sad part.

whats the plan?
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 10:20 AM

if megan wants to go to polaris we can take her
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Sunday, January 24, 1:29 PM

papa is home so he can pick u up
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Tuesday, January 26, 8:11 PM

pls make sure dogs get out and go potty since it is cold they might not
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Wednesday, January 27, 5:12 PM

I hope everyone read Trevor's comment on Prema's last text messages, because I think he really neatly summarizes exactly what is wrong with the Prema-Leila relationship. (i.e. Prema is a micromanager who somehow doesn't even realize that Leila is never receiving her texts.)

hair color. valentines. craft stuff. patch material. green binding. fruit. english muffins. computer paper. sale games.
from a 970 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 12:37 PM

Best shopping list ever. Here we have a healthy-eating, dyed-hair craftster who likes sale games (whatever those are). Sounds like a cool gal.

come home said mom cause they made food and she wants u home
from a 313 phone number, Friday, January 22, 6:17 PM

I feel like there was a way to convey this same message using one-third as many words. You know?

please go by & check on aunt mary she's not feeling well also there is a present for you on my bed
from a 562 phone number, Friday, January 22, 1:02 PM

on my way
from a 562 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 12:31 PM

need anything from costco
from a 562 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 7:45 PM

You know, I wasn't going to go check on Aunt Mary, because that sounded like a "good deed." But if there's a present for me, then I guess you have bribed me into it.

medicine
from a 207 phone number, Friday, January 22, 9:37 AM

would like to invite Mike to dinner if you wish. spaghetti garlic bread. ready 6-6:30. let me know.
from a 207 phone number, Friday, January 22, 5:00 PM

Mike is one the fence as to whether to join you for dinner. Knowing that there will be spaghetti is neither here nor there. Hearing that there will also, in addition, be garlic bread, is an important factor. But what Mike really wants to know is: Will there be medicine?

would u be terribly upset if i didnt make it to the funeral home. i was getting ready 2 leave but heard roads were really bad with the fog on way 2 RB
from a 314 phone number, Wednesday, january 20, 6:33 PM

No, that's fine. Go ahead. Stay home. Never mind that this is the FUNERAL of someone NEAR AND DEAR to Leila (presumably). If the roads are bad, then by all means! Keep sitting on your couch!

FWD: FWD: FWD:After the tragic Earthquake that striked Haiti on Tuesday phone companies have agreed to donate 25 cents everytime this MSG is sent.
from a 949 phone number, Tuesday, January 19, 6:40 PM

This is NOT true and this text makes me very angry. It's clear from the three "FWD"s at the beginning that people are forwarding this message right and left, believing that they are helping to make things better in Haiti, but that is a lie and forwarding this text message has no impact on anything. If you want to donate one dollar to Haiti, don't forward this chain text to four friends. That's a placebo. If you want to donate money to Haiti, which you should, go to UNICEF and give them your credit card number.

I love sending texts, and I love reading texts, and I love writing about reading texts, but let's get real: None of that saves lives.

Dont throw ur phone!!!
DEREK=HOLLYWOOD
from a 440 phone number, Tuesday, January 19, 6:20 PM

I agree that throwing your phone is generally bad. I don't know whether or not I believe that Derek=Hollywood. I guess that seems as likely as anyone else equalling Hollywood.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala text me ur bro texts me more than u!!
from a 774 phone number, Tuesday, January 19, 3:43 PM

That's because you are boring and needy, and if Leila's bro texts you that often, I have to wonder what's wrong with him.

hey guys. so sorry but i cant print the lyrics. can u guys please do it?
from a 925 phone number, Monday, January 18, 8:40 PM

Sure thing. The lyrics are:

I'm sexy, I'm cute! I'm popular to boot!
I'm bitchin', great hair! The boys all love to stare!
I'm wanted, I'm hot! I'm everything you're not!
I'm pretty, I'm cool! I dominate this school!
Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest!

You're welcome.

I REALLY WANT TO SEE AVATAR AGAIN!
from an 843 phone number, Monday, January 16, 1:19 PM

Seriously, folks, this is killer product placement, and I am providing it all for free. You're welcome, 20th Century Fox.

Sry iff i take so long 2 txt u back. I hert my tumb in s.b. And its hard. I only have 1 finger
from a 201 phone number, Sunday, January 17, 9:16 PM

That is so sad. 201 hurt her thumb (in s.b., whatever that is?), and now she can barely communicate. It's true-- texting on keypad phones is not a sport for index fingers. Without an operable thumb, you're basically a mute.

hey never mind i cant sry ttul im so mad now sry by
from a 336 phone number, Saturday, January 16, 11:58 AM

This raises more questions than it answers. 336 can't do what? And why is she so mad? It doesn't sound like she's so mad at Leila, but will Leila know the cause of 336's anger?