Hey Miss, I have down on my calendar Chelsea Handler for this Friday night with Val & friends..Do u know if this still is happening?
from a 602 phone number, Monday, May 9, 6:53 PM EST

According to Wikipedia, Chelsea Handler "is an American stand-up comedian, humorist, television host, actress, model, and best-selling author." Not to be jealous, but IS THERE NOTHING THIS BITCH CAN'T DO?

My kohls coupon expires wed lets go mon or tues
Renee’
from a 631 phone number, Friday, May 13, 3:39 PM EST

That is a good idea. I could use a new pair of shoes.

OMG! u reely got orbeez!i hate u! Ofcorse i want one!
from a 201 phone number, Sunday, May 15, 8:51 AM EST

What are Orbeez, you may be wondering. How could they make a person so jealous?

According to their website, “OrbeezTM are wet and wacky, soft and squishy, fun and funky, bouncy and beautiful. They start off hard and tiny. Add water and watch them grow to 100 times their volume.”

Does that answer your questions?

Abuelita en el hosp
from a 239 phone number, Sunday, May 8, 11:30 PM EST

Me estoy llendo al hosp
from a 239 phone number, Sunday, May 8, 11:31 PM EST

Tres confirmaron asistencia al bb swr
from a 239 phone number, Monday, May 9, 6:14 PM EST

I get that grandmother is in the hospital, and then that 239 is going to the hospital… but then this devolved into a random string of letters. Even my high-school level Spanish can’t help with this third text.

It is too late. You should be making plans to move.
from a 517 phone number, Tuesday, May 10, 4:46 PM EST

This is just about the worst text message Leila could imagine receiving from her landlord after she dallied too long in signing the lease.

Maybe we could go to the gluten free bakery and check it out
from a 541 phone number, Tuesday, May 10, 11:45 PM EST

Do you have a wheat allergy? My friend Rebecca has one of those. She spends a lot of time at gluten-free bakeries.

r u going to the shakespere play this year?
from a 505 phone number, Wednesday, May 11, 2:23 PM EST

Depends what it is. Is it a Midsummer Night’s Dream? I like that one.

Is your ass frozen to the bleacher?
from a 307 phone number, Wednesday, May 11, 5:25 PM EST

No.

Everyone needs a pen and a highlighter for bingo. u can bring snacks too or buy them there!
from an 860 phone number, Thursday, May 12, 1:27 PM EST

This sounds like one hell of a bingo game. Personally I usually show up for bingo empty-handed.

Hey the school called me to sub for stemo tomorrow. can i clean maybe twice next week?
from a 303 phone number, Thursday, May 12, 11:30 PM EST

Maybe 303 is a substitute teacher/cleaning lady? That makes sense here, right?

Hey im at the talnet show
from a 240 phone number, Friday, May 13, 7:39 PM EST

Oooh did anyone do a lip sync? Did anyone successfully burp the alphabet?

hey do you know what you can do after prom?
from a 310 phone number, Saturday, May 14, 4:37 PM EST

I’m so glad mike is helping u. I have grad party at prof’s Huntington woods home at 6:30. Getting ready
from a 248 phone number, Saturday, May 14, 5:02 PM EST

hey thanks for the fun prom night
from a 310 phone number, Monday, May 16, 6:58 PM EST

‘Tis the season for proms and graduations. I feel like half the people I saw this weekend were wearing formal dresses or caps and gowns.

Wassup Sitter. When jonathan asked me what my name was, i said i had just got there.
from a 302 phone number, Wednesday, May 4, 5:36 PM EST

And that's funny, get it? Because "I had just got there" isn't someone's name!

...Unless it is someone's name.

know ur busy but will u check see if jeff put my hours in 4 keying & also clocked n 4 10:30 everyday
from a 256 phone number, Sunday, May 8, 6:24 PM EST

You and Jeff have cheated the system for long enough. If you're not there at 10:30, you need to stop flirting with Jeff to make him say that you were. Not only is it abusing the storied time-clock system, but also it is abusing Jeff's sad unrequited crush on you.

happy mothers day
from a 732 phone number, Sunday, May 8, 11:55 AM EST

Happy Mothers day!!!
from a 323 phone number, Sunday, May 8, 12:20 PM EST

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. Best present ever is to have the kids graduating.
from an 818 phone number, Sunday, May 8, 2:37 PM EST

I WISH YOU ALL A WONDERFUL AND HAPPY MOTHERS DAY YOU ALL LEARNED FROM THE BEST! LOVE YOU ALL STEVE
from a 319 phone number, Sunday, May 8, 10:16 AM EST

And a happy Mother's Day to you, too!

I think mom and chuck r gunna get a divorse
Dr.Octagonapus!
BLAHHHHHHHH!!!!
from a 717 phone number, Sunday, May 8, 3:09 PM EST

Can i come over in about 5 min
Dr.Octagonapus!
BLAHHHHHHHH!!!!
from a 717 phone number, Sunday, May 8, 7:33 PM EST

Well, Dr. Octagonapus, that is a cheery thought for Mother's Day. I'm sure your mom is thrilled.

can i get the photos off my friends facebook page do i tag? it wont let me down load them
Sandy
from a 908 phone number, Friday, May 6, 2:19 AM EST

Yeah, I was also having this problem! Come on, facebook, stop changing shit around.

Hey can u hang out today? Cuz i am going to kyles game at butter field and after i can walk to your house
from an 801 phone number, Saturday, May 7, 9:25 AM EST

It is SO OBVIOUS that 801 is a middle school boy with a crush on Leila, only he can't come right out and SAY that he likes her, so he has to be like, "Oh, yeah, I'm just in the neighborhood-- you know, 'cause I'm going to Kyle's game, not because of YOU."

Ur funny u put popcorn popper on backwards silly
Cindy
from a 585 phone number, Wednesday, May 4, 10:53 AM EST

Stop being such a bitch, Cindy. It's not Leila's fault she doesn't know how to work a popcorn popper.

Mammogram was good:)
from a 484 phone number, Wednesday, May 4, 5:46 PM EST

Good-- that's what we like to hear!