something happens to us call the police someone is here telling us about his lifestoruy
from a 256 phone number, Tuesday, June 24, 12:03 PM

I assume this was merely a figure of speech, like, "Oh my God, this guy's lifestoruy is sooo boooring, call the cops!" But if it turns out I'm wrong, and something awful happened to 256 as a result of hearing someone tell his lifestoruy, and Leila didn't know to call the police because she never received this plaintive text message... well, I will feel pretty damn guilty.

its thomas Call me.
from a 704 phone number, Tuesday, June 24, 2:24 AM

Hey how ya doin?
from a 704 phone number, Friday, June 27, 9:58 PM

I cant wait 4 you 2 get into town
from a 704 phone number, Friday, June 27, 10:00 PM

Hey you there?
from a 704 phone number, Saturday, June 28, 8:37 PM

I hope Thomas and Leila are like BEST FRIENDS, because otherwise the amount that he texts her would just be creepy.

I will b at the college this afternoon to take test 2 & 3 l
from a 443 phone number, Monday, June 23, 11:05 AM

I will be studying for weather do u need help with any chaps it would help me to review if u have stuff to catch up on or study temp and weather john
from a 443 phone number, Monday, June 23, 11:14 AM

My son checked at woodys for apt upstairs he said it unliveable and used for storage it smells like fish sorry dont giveup we will find something
from a 443 phone number, Monday, June 23, 11:26 AM

Hi r u ok do u need help with math or homework b tween work sidework music and this insane physics time pressure is getting rough john
from a 443 phone number, Wednesday, June 25, 10:16 AM

More texts from John, the guy who is trying to find a new apartment in Rising Sun.

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around what sort of college John goes to, what sort of person he is, and what sort of relationship he and Leila have. In terms of their college, why do they have classes in weather and temperature? I assume "chaps" are "chapters," but what is "sidework"?

Because John is in college and looking to rent a cheap apartment, I would assume he's young. But apparently he has a son old enough to check on apartments and offer opinions on them. So I don't know how that works.

As for the John-Leila relationship, it seems like they are close enough that they are trying to move in together. So then why does John text her only about school stuff, and why does he feel compelled to sign some of his texts with his name, as though she wouldn't have his number stored in her phone? Those behaviors are not indicative of a close relationship.

John is obviously a very complex man. Please weigh in with opinions and insights.

Hi whats up
from a 208 phone number, Sunday, June 22, 3:05 PM

Oh, you know. Same old. Listening to mash-ups, watching a rainstorm out my window, updating my blog, considering eating macaroni, waiting for Stef to call... Standard Sunday afternoon fare.

those are better I'm tired!
from a 928 phone number, Sunday, June 22, 2:24 PM

I was not tired at 2:24 PM today. That is because I slept for thirteen-- count them, thirteen-- hours last night. 928 obviously did not think to do that.

hi hows it goin
from an 805 phone number, Sunday, June 22, 5:14 AM

At 5:14 AM? It was going just fine, in that I was unconscious. Thanks for asking.

Hi I'm having fun!
from a 518 phone number, Saturday. June 21, 7:53 PM


Hi leila bday girl
from a 518 phone number, Saturday, June 21, 7:55 PM

The order of these texts confuses me. On someone's birthday, shouldn't the first thing you do be reassure them that you remember it's their birthday? Once you've established that, then you are free to move on to other topics, like how you're having fun, etc.

C&l 97848692**
from a 978 phone number, Saturday, June 21, 2:37 PM

(last two digits deleted in a half-hearted attempt to preserve someone's privacy.)

C&l = Charlie and Lola, do you suppose?

Texting is my favourite and my best!
I'm just not keen on texting!
I completely know about texting!

heyy whatsupp. i love yahh. (:
from a 352 phone number, Friday, June 20, 10:11 PM

325 lovess Leila... Andd also repeatingg the last letterr of wordss.

N east main st 2nd flr 1 br hot water and heat inc 700/mo 410 287 5678 rising sun 2
from s 443 phone number, Thursday, June 19, 9:50 PM

Rising sun 2br 540/mo sec 443 350 0055 m_f 8:30_5pm I TOLD ERIC WHO WORKS AT WOODY S TO ABOUT APT JK
from a 443 phone number, Thursday, June 19, 10:00 PM

Hi leila i was wondering if u could show me the cool book that u had last nite after we play music
john
from a 443 phone number, Friday, June 20, 12:44 PM

Contrary to popular (i.e. my) belief, 'rising sun' does not necessarily mean 'House of the Rising Sun,' which is obviously a place where you would NOT want to live. Turns out 'rising sun' is also the name of a small town in eastern Maryland.

Rent in Rising Sun sounds pretty cheap. Should I move there, do you think?

I made it! Hot here!
from a 201 phone number, Friday, June 20, 7:06 PM

'Here' obviously does not mean 'New York City,' because that's where I am right now, and, yeah, it's pretty warm here, but definitely not hot enough that it would be the only thing you would comment on in a text message. Unless you just arrived here from, say, Alaska. But 201 is not an Alaskan area code.

INTERESTING FACT: Did you know Alaska has only ONE area code? I just learned this as I was double-checking where 201 is. All of Alaska is 907.

Jenny s b day today
from a 201 phone number, Tuesday, June 17, 11:53 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Jenny! You see? Someone remembered!

Leila joon miss you love mom
from a 781 phone number, Sunday, June 15, 10:44 PM

Hey, my mom's phone is 781, too! This text message is not from her, though. In case you were unclear on that.

congrats
*RiTa_cAtAnO*
from a 951 phone number, Friday, June 13, 4:35 PM

hey wat are you doing yo
*RiTa_cAtAnO*
from a 951 phone number, Sunday, June 15, 5:06 PM

This girl here. To spare you the effort of having to click on the link to Rita Catano's myspace profile, I'll just tell you here that her myspace username is ~[FRESH_SQUAD]~*Baby Sexy*. She could mean this ironically, but I get the impression she's serious about it.

Rita Catano is obviously into asterisks.

Hey dont ferget da goodz yo knohumsayin go lakerz yo bring it bring it
from an 818 phone number, Thursday, June 12, 10:33 PM

God this Leila Texter must be so cool. I mean like really insanely cool. Look how he spells "know what I'm saying." Look how he uses the letter "z." I would date him if I could, but we all know he would never look my way.

Dr reilly...no weekends!
from a 201 phone number, Tuesday, June 10, 9:10 PM

Compass at 6 on 70 TH OFF AMSTERDAM
from a 201 phone number, Friday, June 13, 3:50 PM

That would be here. Looks pretty nice, actually. I would love a chocolate-peanut butter torte.

Musta na si shadow? Wala na bang galis?
from a 423 phone number, Tuesday, June 10, 7:06 PM

Hey, you, guy who translated for me last time I got a text from this phone number. Can you help me out again?

Of course, you could tell me this means pretty much anything, and I would probably believe you. "Can you see my shadow? Want to bang my brother?" Tagalog is not my first language. It is not even my twentieth language.

any news on my flute?
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, June 10, 6:16 PM

Give me an example of what news on a flute would look like. "Flute Gives Aid to Third-World Nations"? "Flute Kidnaps Seven-Year-Old"?

U want my schlong!
from an 860 phone number, Sunday, June 15, 12:19 AM

Ahhhhhhhh oh my god, ew, graphic!

FWD: Fwd:FWD: Bet u wont send this: When Jesus died on the cross, He was thinkin of u. If u care, send 2 10ppl n c what he does 4 u.
from a 714 phone number, Sunday, June 15, 2:01 PM

You bet right, 714. But isn't betting a sin?