" The secret to success in life is to take the opportunity when it comes"...mona vie is the opportunity...run with it.
from a 571 phone number, Thursday, February 4, 10:09 AM

Not the first time I've received what's basically a text message advertising a fruit juice, but this one is from a different text message. Seems like ALL the Leila Texters want me to drink mona vie these days!

Hey, let me know if you get this, my phone is not sending texts for some reason
from a 757 phone number, Wednesday, February 3, 6:16 PM

This would be an intriguing mystery, except that we all know exactly the reason why 757 believes that her phone isn't sending texts.

U there? r there a lot of people there yet?
from a 716 phone number, Wednesday, February 3, 5:48 PM

R u guys still taking abby 2 vet?
from a 716 phone number, Wednesday, February 3, 6:46 PM

Hey sista we rnt coming in way 2 cold 4 my liking plus we just got done working @ moms
from a 716 phone number, Saturday, February 6, 6:55 PM

716 reminds me of some people who I know, who I resent. People who will use any excuse to not go to a thing. They always want to know if there are a lot of people there, because if there aren't, then maybe they don't have to show up, either. They are always backing out of things because it is cold, or rainy, or they are tireder than expected. These people piss me off. And maybe 716 isn't like that, but I'm taking this out on her, anyway.

Buenos dias mi muchachita Preciosa como armanecio esta manana espero que como ciempre muy Bien. solo quiero saludarla k tanga vuen dia.
from an 805 phone number, Wednesday, February 3, 12:58 PM

Good day my precious little girl how are you feeling this morning I hope that like always you are feeling very well. I only want to say hi and that I hope you have a good day.

Something like that. Nothing very exciting. The most exciting bit by far is that I had to translate it.

we got the oakland contract
from a 510 phone number, Tuesday, February 2, 5:05 PM

BOOYAH. The Oakland contract, bitches. I'm going to go drink some Absolut and play some golf, because my work here is done.

daddy wonts 2 know if ur husbeen is up if so ask him 2 call daddy
~$~{Gracies Georgis}~$~
from an 864 phone number, Tuesday, February 2, 7:20 AM

Probably, there are more direct ways for Leila's dad to talk to Leila's husband than for him to ask Gracie to text Leila to ask her husband to call. Probably.

ay te puse una targeta
from an 828 phone number, Sunday, January 31, 2:06 PM

The people who read this blog always rock the translations so hard, that it's not really worth it for me to even try. But here's my best show, anyway:

"ay I put on you a taregt."

WTF. That is clearly wrong.

were going to KAC call us in advance so i can pick u up unless u hv a ride. doing anything tonighht?
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Saturday, January 30, 1:49 PM

This is, I believe, the first time I've heard Prema imply that Leila might have the ability to do things (like secure a ride home) without Prema's direct involvement. Is Prema perhaps, a tiny bit, cutting the cord?

r u goin skatin?

]: Bite Me :[
from a 214 phone number, Friday, January 29, 7:26 PM

I know it's been a full year since this happened, but I wish 214 could hang out with that 609 kid who always wanted to go skating.

Can u txt me if u will make it 2 my wifes showr at1230 not ll00 n tell me how many includin yrself? I appreciate prompt response so i can gt enuff food.
from a 203 phone number, Friday, January 29, 6:41 PM

Call me a traditionalist, a stick in the mud, what you will, but I believe that baby shower invitations should be sent out many weeks in advance. Via mail. And RSVPs should also be sent weeks in advance. Via mail. They should not be sent via incorrectly addressed text messages, because then no one will come to your wife's shower. Because no one will know it is happening. And that's just sad. The poor woman can't drink liquor or eat sushi, and now you're dooming her to a friendless shower? Hasn't she suffered enough?

oi honey! por favor me passa o endereco onde vc esta ficando e oendereco do Mike. mtos bjs te amo
from a 408 phone number, Tuesday, January 26, 6:38 PM

Portuguese? Or really poorly-typed Spanish.

hi leila, sorry um ka panhau telefone. :( um sta na nha doc, um tral som um skece poi kantu um sai. txomam hora ku puder.bjinhos.
from a 617 phone number, Thursday, January 28, 6:02 PM

This one is neither Spanish nor Portuguese. I know it is about something kind of bad, due to the frowny face. And I bet the word "um" means "and." Or "I." I can't think of any other words you'd use five times in one text.

...lasted this long..we could have gone on a double date!! Haha lmao yay! Now u have to introduce us!< 33 im so happy:)
from a 631 phone number, Sunday, January 24, 3:23 PM

Lot of potential explanations here. I'm choosing to go with: Leila has been waiting for some guy to ask her out for a long time, and now he FINALLY did, and Leila's friend 631 is really excited for her and can't wait to meet her new boyfriend. True/False?

Mrakovcich hi leila good morning hows it going today?
from an 860 phone number, Sunday, January 24, 8:21 AM

This girl. Fortunately there's only one. But why you'd want to spell out that entire last name instead of just pulling it from your contacts list is beyond me.

U dont like me anyway
from a 513 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 10:01 PM

Lending credence to 513's self-doubt is the fact that Leila never replied to this text message.

M Hey did you stop throwing up?
TEAM EDWARD!!!!
from a 208 phone number, Tuesday, January 26, 11:21 PM

Team Edward seems like not that contentious a position. I mean, is anyone out there actually on Team Jacob? Also, when you're already nauseated, is thinking about Bella and Edward's creepy romance really going to soothe your stomach at all?

thanks so much for inviting me to your party-jerk
from a 714 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 8:13 PM

It's cool-- I wasn't invited, either.

can u or will pick me up 8 or 8.30 at donna s? am on the plane at dallas. thnx mom
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 5:28 PM

I replied to this with my standard, "Sorry, your text came to me instead of Leila, please resend by pulling her name out of your contacts list. Do not spell it out." 425 responded with this:

can u pick me up 8 or 8.30 at donna's? willcall on way home am on the plane in dallas.lol mom
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 5:32 PM

I am charmed by the fact that she tried. She clearly rephrased and retyped this whole message. But she still did not send it to Leila, is the sad part.

whats the plan?
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 10:20 AM

if megan wants to go to polaris we can take her
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Sunday, January 24, 1:29 PM

papa is home so he can pick u up
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Tuesday, January 26, 8:11 PM

pls make sure dogs get out and go potty since it is cold they might not
prema to most, mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Wednesday, January 27, 5:12 PM

I hope everyone read Trevor's comment on Prema's last text messages, because I think he really neatly summarizes exactly what is wrong with the Prema-Leila relationship. (i.e. Prema is a micromanager who somehow doesn't even realize that Leila is never receiving her texts.)

hair color. valentines. craft stuff. patch material. green binding. fruit. english muffins. computer paper. sale games.
from a 970 phone number, Saturday, January 23, 12:37 PM

Best shopping list ever. Here we have a healthy-eating, dyed-hair craftster who likes sale games (whatever those are). Sounds like a cool gal.

come home said mom cause they made food and she wants u home
from a 313 phone number, Friday, January 22, 6:17 PM

I feel like there was a way to convey this same message using one-third as many words. You know?