Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Im going to hebrew school
from a 310 phone number, Monday, October 8, 9:39 PM

Oh, man, that sucks. I'm sorry. I have been in your boat, child, and it is no fun. Just keep your head down and eat a lot of kosher candy. That's all the advice I've got for you today.
It's Stephanie. For cleaning today key is under mat.
from a 203 phone number, Tuesday, October 9, 8:43 PM

Is Stephanie texting Leila with this information because Leila is Stephanie's house cleaner? I don't know many people close enough to their house cleaners to text them the location of their hidden house keys. My mother has house cleaners, but honestly I doubt she knows their cell phone numbers at all.

I wonder how much Stephanie pays Leila to clean her house. More or less than $85 per week, do you think? I should ask her and then use that information to reply to the 909 person from last month who wanted to know if $85 per week is good for a house cleaner. I think that would be a real service that I could provide.

Funny, isn't it, how many text messages revolve around house cleaning?
Where the address
from a 409 phone number, Tuesday, October 9, 2:23 PM

Um, 10 Elm St., some city in southeast Texas, right?

Well, okay, maybe not street number 10. Maybe not even Elm Street, either. But probably some city in southeast Texas. I looked it up.

Does that help you navigate any, 409 guy?
Good luck at practice
from a 646 phone number, Tuesday, October 9, 6:06 PM

What a sweet text message! Thank you! Thank you for your good luck wishes! (Again, unless you are a creepy ex who's just looking for any desperate excuse to send Leila a text message.)

I wonder what Leila practices. Soccer? Violin? Debate? I hope it's something cool. Like basket-weaving. Does one practice basket-weaving? Is that the terminology?
Dumb ass
from a 248 phone number, Wednesday, October 10, 11:04 AM

Maybe 248 thought Leila didn't respond because she was offended. Maybe when he sees her later, he'll be like, "Hey, sorry about the text I sent you earlier today. Obviously you're not a dumb ass. I was just kidding."

And she will say, "What?"
come here
from a 763 phone number, wednesday, October 10, 4:22 PM

No. Maybe. Where's 'here'?

Oh, wait, I just looked it up. Minnesota. Definitely no, then.

Monday, October 8, 2007

c Just poured 1 gal distilled h20 in fountain will need more tomorrow
from a 310 phone number, Sunday, October 7, 1:09 AM

This sounds like an intense science project. This obviously belongs in the "Materials" section of a lab report. As in:
1 beaker
1 fountain
a centrifuge
1 gal. distilled H2O

However, I still don't understand what the "Method" section would be. Or, more to the point, the "Hypothesis." Because my working hypothesis right now is, "If I pour 1 gallon of distilled H2O in the fountain today, then I will need more tomorrow."
from an 805 phone number, Sunday, October 7, 11:06 PM

Shut up.