I have to take a shower now ill tex when i get out
from a 201 phone number, Wednesday, December 1, 9:58 PM EST

I need to be kept constantly abreast of 201's whereabouts. It will be hard for me to wait until he's out of the shower for his next textual communication.

i love you more than you will ever know be safe today mom
from a 330 phone number, Friday, December 3, 9:03 AM EST

If my mother even figured out how to text message, this is the sort of thing she would send me.

1 seaflower lane in marshfield
from a 781 phone number, Friday, December 3, 4:57 PM EST

That would be here. I have to say, I am FROM Massachusetts, and I still had to zoom way out on this GoogleMap to figure out where this location is.

Bonne nuit puppycat
from a 406 phone number, Friday, December 3, 11:56 PM EST

When genetic scientists bred a dog and a cat, they thought nothing would happen. They had no idea they were unleashing (get it? GET IT??) the beast known as the Puppycat.

Ron dixon
from a 585 phone number, Saturday, December 4, 4:59 PM EST

See, this is what I mean about the Leila Texters and sports information. I feel informed, now.

Hey Leila! Its Larisa. i wanted to know when and what time your party is cuz my mom left the invatation at my g mas and 4got it...
from a 616 phone number, Wednesday, December 1, 9:28 PM EST

I am hugely in favor of print invitations because they feel old-fashioned in a really lovely way, but it is true that the problem with print is that if you leave it somewhere, you no longer have access to that information. It's not like Larisa can just pull up the evite on her iPhone.

Hey wazzz upszzz
from a 201 phone number, Wednesday, December 1, 9:01 PM EST

Sometimes even narcoleptics text Leilas.

Hi im working 9-6 sunday that would be better for me to go to the movies but if u wanna go tonight we can : )
from a 732 phone number, Tuesday, November 30, 4:37 PM EST

Hey, what movie are you guys going to see? Can I come? I'll buy the popcorn and be really quiet, I swear you won't even notice I'm there.

Kkk,& if ya get me&kailey a gift we just want money,
from a 989 phone number, Tuesday, November 30, 3:29 PM EST

My issue here is not how overtly mercenary 989 is. My issue is that she sees no problem with starting a text message with the acronym for the Ku Klux Klan.

Hi how are you buy my book.
from a 702 phone number, Friday, December 3, 1:10 AM EST

I don't know what 702's book is, but, while we're on the topic, buy my book, too! It's called Mostly Good Girls.

Moms aunt in Canada died this morning. It will be u called mom. Ask Leila and harris to call her.
from a 240 phone number, Monday, November 29, 3:25 PM EST

My grandmother died on Monday, too. It was really sad. I think it's been a rough week for a number of Leilas.

Kathy deardon has your job and keith finally gave up on Trevor he said he will never start
from a 978 phone number, Monday, November 29, 1:33 PM EST

Trevor is a goddamn slacker. It's a JOB, Trev. In this economy, you best buckle down to work.

i don’t want 2 go 2 skool tomorrow! wah wah wah
(Merry Christmas peeps)
from a 978 phone number, Sunday, November 28, 7:18 PM EST

Not to be the Jewish Grinch here, but just because it's a few days after Thanksgiving does not make it "Merry Christmas" time. I'm hard-pressed even to grant you "happy winter" prior to December 21st.

FWD: all honestly were did u guys go last nite
K. Maher Jr
from a 732 phone number, Sunday, November 28, 7:01 PM EST

All honestly, K. Maher Jr, we went to a party. We went to an awesome party without you. The drinks were free and all those people you have crushes on were there. Celebrities were there, as well. All honestly, that is where we went without you last night.

Have u seen sing_a majig dolls? i was thinking of getting them for the little ones.
from a 614 phone number, Sunday, November 28, 12:20 PM EST

""They're cute, they're zany, they're the latest singing sensation! They're...The Sing-a-ma-jigs!" No, I did not make that up.

how was the game today?
from a 619 phone number, Saturday, November 27, 5:59 PM EST

Excuse me, 619. You seem to be mistaken. The job of the Leila Texts is to inform me about sports, not to ask me about sports. I don't know how the "game" was. That's your job.

Hey there is ice on the pond
Happy Thanksgiving
from a 978 phone number, Saturday, November 27, 10:21 AM EST

'Tis the season. Just don't skate on it and then fall into the pond and then freeze to death. I'm just saying, that's a bad idea, in my opinion.

Did u get the dress?
from an 850 phone number, Friday, November 26, 5:33 PM EST

I hope so! I love dresses. This is very important to me.

im sooo mad at willow!!!!!
~grrrr~
from a 719 phone number, Thursday, November 25, 12:00 AM EST

Honey, they stopped filming Buffy years ago. What’s done is done.

Ok so i like luke. Don’t judge me
Wats up!?
from a 513 phone number, Wednesday, November 24, 4:26 PM EST

hahahahahahaha LUKE?!? You must be a total LOSER!

I just got in the mail from JJill a $50.00 off if u spend $150 or more. Did u get one?
from a 916 phone number, Tuesday, November 23, 9:14 PM EST

916 has consistently shown herself to be really committed to J.Jill. I've never shopped there, but now I'm feeling like maybe I should?

I got Leila,s message last night about putting Riley in the Kennel. I guess that means yall want to come t Greer. We,ll be here so come on up. Love You
from an 864 phone number, Tuesday, November 23, 9:28 AM EST

That'd be Greer, South Carolina. Unclear why Leila wants to go there, but I hear it's one of South Carolina's fastest growing cities.

Hey im in north carolina
from a 302 phone number, Tuesday, November 23, 5:58 PM EST

Hey I’m in Kentucky. We are both south of the Mason-Dixon line! Let’s meet up!

been on the highway at speeds \leq walking. how’s your ride?
from a 269 phone number, Monday, November 22, 11:39 PM EST

If this is supposed to mean "speeds less than or equal to walking," then that's what my trip home for Thanksgiving was like, too!

lafleur don’t forget about alexis dr appointment call me when u can love u
from a 409 phone number, Tuesday, November 16, 9:05 AM EST

lafleur i can pick my files up from pomonis wed yee haaa
from a 409 phone number, Monday, November 22, 5:08 PM EST

Intended for this Leila. Alexis is Leila's daughter. I feel creepy how much I already know about this family.

Geiger hello sweet friend.got ur messages.soglad 2 hear from u.i miss u.have a happy t’giving & we’ll catch up soon.ly.
from a 336 phone number, Monday, November 22, 2:50 PM EST

Which Leila Geiger was this text intended for?

Do you want to go to church and then out to dinner? or, do you have other plans for tonight?
from a 515 phone number, Saturday, November 20, 12:57 PM EST

We plan to be home around 4:30. why don’t you do your shopping and be ready to go to church at that time.
from a 515 phone number, Saturday, November 20, 1:22 PM EST

I didn't know Saturday night was a popular time to go to church. What branch of Christianity is that?

FWD: no todavia no no te tienes que enojar yo no te dije que te fueras a la casa –esto m mando desir nadamas xq le dije q ya avia llegado a la casa
from a 915 phone number, Saturday, November 20, 4:13 AM EST

"Not still no no you have to anger yourself I did not say that you went to the house -this ontrol to desire nothing more xq I said to him already something arriving at the house."

I really, really need to work on my Spanish idioms.

B Guria esquecemos do remedio eita!!!
from a 774 phone number, Friday, November 19, 5:27 PM EST

Babelfish says, "B Guria we forget it eita remedy!!!" So, that sounds bad.

Erin made symphonic band and will be performing at Disneyland the weekend of May 13th
from a 702 phone number, Thursday, November 18, 6:22 PM EST

DISNEYLAND! I am so jealous of Erin right now. I knew I should have learned to play oboe or something.

FWD: Ok, thanks for letting me know. I’m putting Leila at 6:30 tonight on Addy for flat. Bring the rubber boots, it’s wet!
from a 404 phone number, Tuesday, November 16, 2:24 PM EST

"On Addy for flat"? Like Addie the American Girl doll, maybe?