Ako ur dad im proud of having a big family that can understand me only sabeth who can not i love ur mam. Thou she dont love me.
from a 415 phone number, Saturday, September 11, 4:12 PM EST

Could there be a sadder statement? “I love your mom. Though she don’t love me.” What could be worse than urequited love (with Leila’s mother)?

Sorry for drunk texting not sure why i was angry last night. Have a great saturday!
from an 843 phone number, Saturday, September 11, 6:21 AM EST

I wish I’d gotten the angry, drunk text. That’s a little more fun than the sober apology.

Hey leila to let u know i hate u
from a 516 phone number, Friday, September 10, 11:56 PM EST

What a bitch.

Leila i gotta tell you something i like you alott and i no u don’t like me and i no some person is making up stuff but i no were good friends an i want to
be
from a 256 phone number, Sunday, September 19, 12:08 AM EST

I wonder what lies some person is making up to convince Leila that 256 doesn’t actually like her. I wish I could get some of those text messages.

Haha that slice of pizza made me lose one pound. Good thing i ate it
from a 440 phone number, Saturday, September 18, 10:30 PM EST

I don’t know how a slice of pizza could make you LOSE weight. Nor do I want to know. At all.

All my shit is goin in front yard
from a 219 phone number, Thursday, September 16, 8:23 AM EST

And so begin 219’s concerted efforts to become as white trash as possible.

i forgot we leave friday after work to go to pigeon forge. johnny just reminded me. can we go wed?
from a 770 phone number, Sunday, September 19, 6:58 PM EST

Pigeon Forge: like Valley Forge, only for pigeons.

Hey my mom wanted to get some party light things so she wanted to know if she could get your moms number
from a 360 phone number, Saturday, September 18, 12:29 PM EST

Why would anyone ever want to party light? I want to party hard!