Ignorethis
from a 505 phone number, Wednesday, December 9, 11:10 PM

Right, guys. Ignorethis. Just pretend like you never read this blog, mmkay?

Hi Im tired what do you think santa will bring you
-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Tuesday, December 8, 10:08 PM

I know I hate on MaYa a lot, but sometimes I get texts like this and I feel kind of fondly toward her.

I'm sorry I'm not feeling good. Wish I was
from a 270 phone number, Tuesday, December 8, 8:09 PM

i am ok honey. dr. just thinks i slept on my arm wrong. have fun doig good.
from a 415 phone number, Wednesday, December 9, 12:26 PM

Lots of aches and pains out there in the world of Leilas' friends today. Must be flu season. And sleep-on-your-arm-wrong season.

U gonna be out later
from a 540 phone number, Tuesday, December 8, 3:35 PM

Can u come back outside i be there at the hill in two min
from a 540 phone number, Tuesday, December 8, 5:38 PM

When I got this first text, I thought 540 meant like out out-- you know, like out partying. But the second text made me realize she just meant "outside." I don't know what happens in this social scene outside, or why you would want to make sure beforehand that Leila will be there. I guess everyone has different afterschool activities.

Did you I'm me? I think I saw it but I had already clicked turnoff
from a 562 phone number, Tuesday, December 8, 2:44 PM

If you think the difference between "your" and "you're" is complicated, don't even try the difference between "I'm" and "instant message."

I have Marriott's 20% disc if you include my name in the bill. Let me know..also they will need the acct.#.
from a 702 phone number, Monday, December 7, 10:47 PM

I have Marriott's 20% disc if you include my name in the bill. Let me know..also they will need the Verizon acct. #.
from a 702 phone number, Tuesday, December 8, 4:04 PM

This is almost the exact same text message sent twice, nearly a full day apart. The only difference between the first and the second version is the inclusion of the word "Verizon." It's like 702 wondered, "Why hasn't Leila let me know yet? Wait, I bet it's because I didn't specify that I meant the Verizon acct. #! I will fix that right away!" What a shock that Leila still hasn't replied, huh?

leila amoo jan nobari will pick you and katie up at three tirty calll me important for time
from a 781 phone number, Monday, December 7, 12:35 PM

Apparently "amoo" means "uncle" (why this is in Urban Dictionary is beyond me-- it's Farsi, guys, not street slang). So I guess this means that Uncle Jan Nobari will pick Leila and Katie up. If Leila ever gets her act together to call 781, which, face it, she won't.

Hailey-tell the girls to smile big. The other girls e not doing that. Show lots of spirit too. Some of the other teams r not doing that.
from a 904 phone number, Monday, December 7, 10:44 AM

Cheerleading competition?

hey wat up leila ps it is me leila sending u this from auntys
from an 808 phone number, Sunday, December 6, 8:31 PM

Meta.

Last year I spent 3 to 4 days looking for you hoping to find you and make it look like a coincidental meeting. I thought you would want to know.
from a 626 phone number, Sunday, December 6, 4:31 PM

I love this text message! This text message is perfect and I wouldn't change anything about it. 626, you were right: I would want to know.

This is Stacey ... testing to see if you get this.
from a 310 phone number, Sunday, December 6, 3:07 PM

I assume this isn't from my friend Emily, even though she dressed up as Stacey McGill for Halloween this year. Because then she would have addressed her text to C-L-A-U-D-I-A, not to L-E-I-L-A. Yes, we're friends and babysitters from the 00s who dressed up as friends and babysitters from the 80s. So what.

Sis . I can't come miranda just called I gotta go, gotta meet jen at north marshall to get kids.
from a 270 phone number, Saturday, December 5, 10:43 PM

Did u get my last message
from a 270 phone number, Saturday, December 5, 10:46 PM

Nope. She did not get your last message.

328 8th ave. N Auburn, WA 98001
from a 206 phone number, Saturday, December 5, 4:26 PM

2900 nutley st fairfax
from a 716 phone number, Sunday, December 6, 12:33 PM

According to google, the first one is just a home address. The second one appears to be the location of a park and ride facility. Ah, addresses! What fun.

do i pick u up or???
Prema to most , mom to 3
from a 740 phone number, Friday, December 4, 4:15 PM

If we judged exclusively from this woman's text messages, we would conclude that she is a mom to 3 but that her ENTIRE LIFE revolves around those three kids. I guess she must have a daughter named Leila, since the only thing she ever texts me is like, "When should I pick you up?" or "Am I picking you up?"

my grandmother was leila.
from a 609 phone number, Friday, December 4, 10:41 AM

That's such a weird coincidence, that your grandmother was named Leila, and this girl you're trying to text is named Leila, and I am named Leila... That's a surprising number of Leilas implicated in this message!

hi
-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Thursday, December 3, 10:47 PM

I do not now
-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Monday, December 7, 1:06 AM

I am going to start a spin-off blog. And it's going to be called The MaYa texts. And it is going to be the most boring blog in the world.

The next time this girl texts me, I am going to call her back. I swear. I'm going to do it.