Thursday, December 6, 2007

Hi.. u ok? call when u r off the phone. love mum
from a 718 phone number, Thursday, December 6, 8:28 PM

A note to my mother, if she reads this blog: See? It's not that hard. Other mothers can figure out how to text message. You can manage it, too.

Of course, this mother did it wrong. And her text message went to me, a total stranger, as opposed to her daughter, Leila. So perhaps you should not look to her as a technologically astute maternal role model, after all.
Wat u doin?

from an 828 phone number, Thursday, December 6, 3:48 PM

From here on out, I will sign all my text messages ~*PRINCESS*~. Just so that people know who they're dealing with. They'll be like, "I'm sorry, what are you? A My Little Pony?" And I'll be like, "Evidently, yeah."
FWD:Happy sister day! You may or may not have my blood but you have my heart. Send 2 all your girls (even me!) and if you get 5 back, you're LOVED!:)
from an 858 phone number, Thursday, December 6, 6:21 PM

Happy sister day! You may or may not have my blood but you have my heart. Aww.
from an 858 phone number, Thursday, December 6, 9:33 PM

I can just picture 858 wondering, "Why hasn't Leila returned that chain text to me yet? I sent it to her THREE HOURS ago! Could it be that she's busy? Could it be that the text message mistakenly went to THE WRONG LEILA? Nah. I'll just text her the same thing again, only I'll change around the words slightly. Yeah. Good idea."

I am sick of sister day, and it's not even a real holiday. Today is, however, the third night of Hannukah. Anyone want to send me any Hannukah chain texts? That person who, a few weeks ago, was sending chain texts about saying tefilot for a brain-dead Israeli infant? No? Anyone?
haha denile! seeing if you wanne hang out tomorrow..stop clearing all my calls!
from an 858 phone number, Tuesday, December 4, 11:40 PM

I originally read "denile" as a name, like "Danielle," and I was like, "Uh, the girl whom you're texting is not named Denile... She's named Leila..." But then I realized that 858 actually meant denial. Presumably as in, "Stop clearing all my calls, you're in denial that I'm calling you."

It's a good thing I just get misdirected text messages, and not misdirected phone calls, too. How annoying would it be if I got a bunch of calls from this 858 girl being like, "Answer your phone! Stop denying me!"
Hey let's not do it until friday i have a whole Shit load of college stuff to do and if you wait i will get us more. What we have now is not enough
from a 703 phone number, Monday, December 3, 2:52 PM

The college stuff I understand, since college applications are due at the end of this month and, if you haven't written all those essays, you really need to get on that now. But I still don't know what exactly it is that 703 and Leila aren't going to do until Friday. Whatever it is, it requires a lot of something, since what they have now is not enough. A lot of something that 703 has access to. I envision it as being maybe an art project that involves a lot of seashells, and at some point between now and Friday, 703 is going to take a break from her college apps to go seashell collecting.

It's probably not really seashells, though. That's probably just my imagination.
hi you. xo
from a 561 phone number, Monday, December 3, 10:53 AM

can we skype? i want to talk..
from a 561 phone number, Tuesday, December 4, 7:36 PM

Although I hate texts that say merely "hi," somehow the "xo" makes it better. You know, like maybe 561 person loves Leila?

The reference to skype I find intriguing. I only skype with my friends who live out of the country. I can't think why you'd want to skype with someone who lives in America. Why can't 561 person just stop using his cell phone to TEXT Leila, and start using his cell phone to CALL her?
Im so bored! u betta keep that promise member u said u was gonna straiten that hair of urs. tell ur mom i said HOLA!
from a 214 phone number, Sunday, December 2, 12:36 PM

It's so funny that Leila would make a PROMISE to straighten her hair. I mean, I promise lots of things-- I promise to wash the dishes, or I promise to get some information to my boss-- but never have I said, "I PROMISE to straighten my hair," and had a friend respond, "All right, you betta, I'm holding you to that." More likely, my friends would be like, "If you want. Whatever."