So somehow i convinced jason to spend all day saturday watching the twilight series including breaking dawn. care to covert joey with us?
from a 631 phone number, Wednesday, November 30, 9:27 PM EST

The only way I would agree to attend this would be if we spent the whole day playing Forever Young Adult's Twilight Drinking Game.

haha i no except now i cant breath cause my 160 pound bro sat on me i cant get...i got taped shut
from a 330 phone number, Tuesday, November 29, 6:34 PM EST

Right, that sounds like a healthy sibling relationship. Mostly the bit where he tapes her shut.

FWD: Why grassy assy young neice of mine opps
from a 619 phone number, Tuesday, November 29, 4:02 PM EST

"Grassy assy"? Is that like getting a grass stain on your ass?

sorry i called u during school....i butt dialed u
from a 330 phone number, Tuesday, November 29, 3:37 PM EST

"If you were wondering, I didn't actually want to speak to you."

hey remember you're getting breakfast tomoorow. don't get anitas- mary is the only one who eats oit and shes not getting drunk tonight i don't think.
from 703 phone number, Tuesday, November 29, 3:25 PM EST

hahaha Anita's sounds like a disgusting restaurant, if all it makes is hangover food, and even then hangover food that is acceptable only to one person (Mary).

Come down
from a 347 phone number, Tuesday, November 29, 6:59 AM EST

347 sent this text message four minutes later than last time. Sounds like someone was running late for school.

I put a request off in your box this AM, its for the end of February but i wud like to book airline tickets asap. i know ul get to it as soon as u can
from an 808 phone number, Monday, November 28, 2:07 PM EST

What am I, your secretary? Book your own goddamn plane tickets.

Okay, fine. I guess it's possible that Leila is 808's secretary. But still.

You ok? Dinner tonight?
from a 562 phone number, Monday, November 28, 11:36 AM EST

562 is such a 619 wannabe.

I just got reading glasses
Angel pup
from a 480 phone number, Saturday, November 26, 8:53 PM EST

If u asl they're thick cat eyed
Angel pup
from a 480 phone number, Saturday, November 26, 8:54 PM EST

To quote my favorite, Dorothy Parker: "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."

We sent $260, mtcn 945 491 xxxx. go right away to see amy, leave some money for ur kids so u can see how amy s doing.
from a 702 phone number, Monday, November 28m 5:57 PM EST

Txt me bck f u get my mssge. Txt samson, u all look 4 a neurologist in batangas &
from a 702 phone number, Monday, November 28, 5:59 PM EST

Batangas is in the Philippines. It seems to me like Amy might live in Batangas and is having some major health crisis that requires a neurologist, and 702 is encouraging Leila to leave her kids behind and head off to Batangas to check on Amy. If that's all true, that does not sound like an ideal state of affairs.

how was dinner? i am just about to leave farhad.s house
from a 619 phone number, Sunday, November 27, 11:30 PM EST

how about nice bean burrito for dinner. what tune you arte coming home?
from a 619 phone number, Monday, November 28, 8:51 PM EST

"Hi, my name is 619, and I exclusively like to text about dinner. That's it. All other topics of texting conversation bore me."