Friday, July 4, 2008

are you coming to tio ito's game today

from a 951 phone number, Friday, July 4, 1:20 PM

Why does this chick sometimes go by *RiTa_PiTa* and sometimes go by *RiTa_cAtAnO*? If I weren't paying such close attention, I might mistake them for two separate people, both of whom have an eerie fondness for alternating lowercase and capital letters.
i love you i hope you know that
from a 724 phone number, Thursday, July 3, 5:53 PM

Yes, I do know that, thank you, 724. It must have been the two other "i love you" texts this week, but somehow that message has really sunk in.

Leilas = the most loved people in the country? T/F?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Quique B Day
from a 352 phone number, Tuesday, July 1, 6:25 PM

Hola Dios los bendiga te enbie el dinero de avon call me Luv u mom
from a 352 phone number, Wednesday, July 2, 6:54 PM

Rather than rely on my high school level Spanish, I have turned to Babelfish for help. Unfortunately, Babelfish is not so great at translating misspelled Spanglish. It had no translation for the "Quique" text, and was only slightly more useful for the second one, interpreting it as "Hello it blesses them to God sends the money to you of avon call me Luv u mom." I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that's not what Leila's mom intended to say.
Did you remember your clothes?
from a 580 phone number, Monday, June 30, 9:36 PM

Oh riiiiiiight, I knew there was something I forgot. Wearing clothes. Good one.
i love u
from a 502 phone number, Monday, June 30, 11:49 AM

i love you
from a 704 phone number, Monday, June 30, 4:12 PM

OMG, how weird is it that I got two texts on the same day that expressed that exact same sentiment, but they are from two different people, addressed to two different Leilas, none of whom (presumably) know one another? That's pretty cool, right? Leilas cultivate love.

from a 719 phone number, Sunday, June 29, 6:41 PM

YES. I cannot WAIT to have the best relationship ever! This gives me only two short weeks, but I know it will happen--text messages NEVER LIE!

I would, however, like to know why -%*Lil_LOV3R*%- never uses capital "i"s. Is this a stylistic choice, like e. e. cummings, or is her phone just missing that character?
Am not finding deposits in qb what am i doing wrong txs - ! Ginger
from a 516 phone number, Saturday, June 28, 6:03 PM

I assume Ginger doesn't mean "quarterback," but I don't know what type of deposits she's looking for. Calcium deposits? Rent deposits? Context is everything.
R u going 2 heritage fest 2day
from a 630 phone number, Saturday, June 28, 12:31 PM

Most likely this heritage festival in Downers Grove. The dates are right, as is the zip code (630 is for Chicago suburbs).

Unfortunately, I cannot determine from this charming local news story exactly what heritage Downers Grove is celebrating. African American? Hispanic American? Irish American? Downers Grove American? If you attended this particular festival, please enlighten me.
hey did u get this message
from a 352 phone number, Friday, June 27, 9:04 PM

No. Or, like, I did. Leila did not.
FWD: Squeeeeeeeeze!! You've been given a hug. I WANT ONE BACK! If u get 3 ur cute..6 ur hott.. 9ur sexy.. START HUGGIN!
from a 612 phone number, Friday, June 27, 10:46 AM

At this point, I think I have received this text from so many different strangers that I am now beyond "cute" and into "hott." Let's hope 13-year-olds grow tired of this forward before I move into the realm of "sexy."
The creepy message
from an 847 phone number, Thursday, June 26, 11:52 AM

Where is the creepy message? What is the creepy message? This particular message is not creepy in and of itself; at least. it's no creepier than any other message from a stranger to a Leila.
hello wat are you doing

from a 951 phone number, Wednesday, June 25, 7:20 PM

Still this girl, who still does not know/care how to spell "what."
I can't believe I didn't get the job! Great, now I'm depressed...
from a 407 phone number, Wednesday, June 25, 2:42 AM

Did you know you can send a text message as "urgent"? I didn't know that either, until I received this one. It had a little bullet next to it, and when I opened it, it said, in red letters at the top, "URGENT MESSAGE." It's like putting one of those red exclamation points on an email.

No disrespect to 407, but I have to say, out of all the misdirected texts I receive, this one does not seem to be among the most urgent. I'm not sure why it is the only one to date to get that distinction.

Also, 407, if you can figure out how to mark a text as "urgent"-- which can't be that easy, since I don't know how to do it-- then why can't you also figure out how to text the correct Leila?
something happens to us call the police someone is here telling us about his lifestoruy
from a 256 phone number, Tuesday, June 24, 12:03 PM

I assume this was merely a figure of speech, like, "Oh my God, this guy's lifestoruy is sooo boooring, call the cops!" But if it turns out I'm wrong, and something awful happened to 256 as a result of hearing someone tell his lifestoruy, and Leila didn't know to call the police because she never received this plaintive text message... well, I will feel pretty damn guilty.
its thomas Call me.
from a 704 phone number, Tuesday, June 24, 2:24 AM

Hey how ya doin?
from a 704 phone number, Friday, June 27, 9:58 PM

I cant wait 4 you 2 get into town
from a 704 phone number, Friday, June 27, 10:00 PM

Hey you there?
from a 704 phone number, Saturday, June 28, 8:37 PM

I hope Thomas and Leila are like BEST FRIENDS, because otherwise the amount that he texts her would just be creepy.
I will b at the college this afternoon to take test 2 & 3 l
from a 443 phone number, Monday, June 23, 11:05 AM

I will be studying for weather do u need help with any chaps it would help me to review if u have stuff to catch up on or study temp and weather john
from a 443 phone number, Monday, June 23, 11:14 AM

My son checked at woodys for apt upstairs he said it unliveable and used for storage it smells like fish sorry dont giveup we will find something
from a 443 phone number, Monday, June 23, 11:26 AM

Hi r u ok do u need help with math or homework b tween work sidework music and this insane physics time pressure is getting rough john
from a 443 phone number, Wednesday, June 25, 10:16 AM

More texts from John, the guy who is trying to find a new apartment in Rising Sun.

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around what sort of college John goes to, what sort of person he is, and what sort of relationship he and Leila have. In terms of their college, why do they have classes in weather and temperature? I assume "chaps" are "chapters," but what is "sidework"?

Because John is in college and looking to rent a cheap apartment, I would assume he's young. But apparently he has a son old enough to check on apartments and offer opinions on them. So I don't know how that works.

As for the John-Leila relationship, it seems like they are close enough that they are trying to move in together. So then why does John text her only about school stuff, and why does he feel compelled to sign some of his texts with his name, as though she wouldn't have his number stored in her phone? Those behaviors are not indicative of a close relationship.

John is obviously a very complex man. Please weigh in with opinions and insights.