oh my lordy...seamus kissed me!
from a 703 phone number, Thursday, July 10, 9:02 PM

man, im so excited! im literally sitting her shoving down cheesecake in an attempt to stifle my joy.
from a 703 phone number, Thursday, July 10, 9:33 PM

This is probably the most exciting news I've ever heard. Or, to be more accurate, if I were the Intended Leila, this would probably be the most exciting news I would have ever heard.

I wonder for how long this 703/Seamus hook-up was in the works. Had they been flirting for weeks? Months? Years? Had Leila been saying for ages that they would totally someday get together, or will Leila be stunned by this turn of events? Why are kisses so fun?

are you still having bonfire tonight?
shay shay
from a 313 phone number, Tuesday, July 8, 8:18 PM

Some Leilas are so cool. Like this one, who's apparently hosting a bonfire party. I want to host a bonfire party. Hell, I would settle for just being invited to a bonfire party.

While in California, we went to Huntington Beach, which my guidebook promised was "the place to go" for beach bonfires. I couldn't verify this claim. If there were beach bonfires going down, no one invited me.

Ha ha luke is such a fat ass. If just ate 2 fluff and peanutbutter sandwiches with 2 sides of chips... I'm full after 1.
from a 630 phone number, Tuesday, July 8, 12:22 PM

First of all, 630, they're called "fluffernutters," not "fluff and peanutbutter sandwiches." Second of all, everyone else, when is the last time you ate a fluffernutter? Let alone TWO fluffernutters! Were you in elementary school?

(Actually, the last time I ate a fluffernutter was like three weeks ago. It was at Peanut Butter and Co., which is this restaurant that could exist nowhere but Manhattan, where you pay upwards of $7 for peanut butter sandwiches. Sure, the peanut butter's better than the Skippy that you buy at the supermarket, but really you'll paying for the nostalgia.)

love u
glad u got to visit
laura
from a 404 phone number, Monday, July 7, 8:24 PM

Coincidentally, I just came home from California, where I got to visit my friend Laura. But I know that this text is a real Leila Text, and is not from MY Laura. Not least because MY Laura doesn't use "u" as a word.

So what are we doin
from a 339 phone number, Sunday, July 6, 10:39 AM

Well, now, I don't know, 339. I am cleaning my room and finishing baking brownies. We could be doing any number of things. What are we doin? You tell me.

Wanna hit waterpk sun?
from an 808 phone number, Friday, July 4, 7:10 PM

I just spent like eight minutes googling "waterpark sun," as though that were the full name of an amusement park resort, before I realized that 808 actually means "Wanna hit waterpark on Sunday." So I don't know which waterpark she means, but presumably one in Hawaii.