Thursday, August 7, 2008

mortazavi heyy girl.
from an 804 phone number, Thursday, August 7, 7:23 PM

Wait, there are two girls named Leila Mortazavi! How am I supposed to know which one is our Intended Leila?
from soccer can u come. jesse and ciara come this week but they not nice to me. dont ask. i have no friends their so i need u o come tomaro.
from a 949 phone number, Thursday, August 7, 4:13 PM

This text is sad. I can't decide what the saddest part is: that 949 believes she has no friends, or that she cannot form an English sentence with all the components present and in the right order.

from a 702 phone number, Wednesday, August 6, 9:53 PM

L'chaim, Kenzie.
FWD: Buddy is ok leila plz walk @ 830
Go Dawgs!

from a 404 phone number, Wednesday, August 6, 8:53 PM

More from this dog owner. Why does she never text about anything other than their damn dog Buddy? Also, when she says "Go Dawgs," does she mean dogs, like Buddy?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Its great i have a po ol tell everyone h
from a 602 phone number, Wednesday, August 6, 12:21 AM

You have a POOL? Did I read that right? 602, that's more than just great, that is AMAZING! Have you even been in today's weather?
FWD: Zan cumin 2 say hi. Plz unloj frnt door.
from an 805 phone number, Tuesday, August 5, 1:00 AM

Can't Zan just knock when he gets there, so that Leila doesn't have to leave the front door open? Or maybe Leila lives with her parents and they're worried that, if Zan were to knock on the door, he would wake them? I never had that problem in high school. I had a room on the first floor, so my friends would just knock on my window. Those were the days.
Chevy Chase movie marathon tomorrow in? You better be!
from a 580 phone number, Monday, August 4, 1:43 AM

I actually don't think I've ever seen a Chevy Chase film, so I do wish I could attend this little marathon. You know, when I was a kid, I got so damn confused by how Chevy Chase could be both an actor and a city. To be honest, it still confuses me sometimes.
hey do you think when the school starts can i get rides with you in the morning? ill pay you for gas and everything thank you so much
from a 626 phone number, Sunday, August 3, 2:17 PM

This seems like a pretty big request to make via text message. I mean, maybeLeila and 626 are like best friends, in which case Leila would have texted back, "Of course! I would be delighted. Like you even have to ask." But if their friendship were anything less close than that, and I were Leila-- well, I am Leila, but, you know-- I would be like, "Don't take advantage of me!"

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

3 cm and counting. they will admit me at 4 to5 and i enter "active" labor at 6cm. mom is on her way down tomorrow.
from a 336 phone number, Tuesday, August 5, 2:02 PM

Oh my God. I didn't read this text very closely when it came in because I was in the middle of something at work, but HELLO, this woman is telling Leila that she is IN LABOR. 336 is GIVING A BIRTH, and Leila doesn't even know because she DIDN'T GET THE TEXT.

This is way way more dramatic than 14-old-girls' text messages about how they hate one another for stealing boyfriends.
Are you there yet?
from a 406 phone number, Saturday, August 2, 9:16 PM

Where are you?
from a 406 phone number, Sunday, August 3m 9:22 PM

Seriously, 406, you need to be just a little less neurotic.
mortazavi lilian! its leila. text back
from an 804 phone number, Saturday, August 2, 5:16 PM

I don't get it. If I received this text, that means it was sent TO a Leila, not FROM a Leila. Maybe this was one Leila texting another? But that seems unlikely. Leila is an uncommon name. Personally I have never texted someone else named Leila. Maybe 804 was playing "it's opposite day"?
-- If u open this u will have the most amazing relationship by the middle of August if u don't forward this to ten ppl u loose that special someone
from a 509 phone number, Thursday, July 31, 3:22 PM

FW: FW: Msg: Fwd:Fwd: If yu open diz yu will have da most amazin relationship by da middle of Aug. if u dont fwd diz 2 10 peeps u will lose the one u <3
from a 719 phone number, Friday, August 1, 10:04 PM

Sorry, I don't buy it. Mostly because of this text about having an amazing relationship by mid-July, which turned out to be false. If it was wrong the first time, it will be wrong again. Boy who cried wolf, text who cried relationship, etc.