I wonder why 301 needs another copy of her birth certificate. Maybe she is getting MARRIED! That would be an exciting reason.

Skatetown USA is "the Tri State's Premier Roller Skating Facility." And when you visit their website, it immediately starts playing a pump-up skate-time jam by Taio Cruz. Consider yourself warned.

You can leave Ryan at home, but I should warn you that my babysitting rates are pretty steep. Especially when Brent's not there.

I hope it's something like a pretty news dress, and not something boring like new covers for my patio furniture. Or maybe if I had patio furniture, that wouldn't seem so boring.

Okay yes I will go out with you. As any of my exes can tell you, I am a sucker for poetry.

Christopher is truly a wunderkind.

Are we ordering pizza?! For $3 each, we should each get two slices. I am so ready to eat my two slices.

"Why? I don't know, just 'cause. Not because I stole $20 from my mom's wallet and blamed it on my brother or anything like that."

Thanks, that was all it took to cure Leila's seasonal affect disorder.

I LOVE HOT CHOCOLATE! And french toast. And bagels. Man, I really did miss out.

Okay, guys, I just got an iPhone, so I am attempting to make this a "modern blog" filled with "modern text messages." It's tough going, though. I can't even figure out how to talk on my iPhone, let alone edit images and then type up snarky commentary about them. Just bear with me while I get the hang of this.

It's a brave new world.

Hi! kathy hill just called me to confirm her second consult visit for tomorrow at christophers. Is it okay for her to come. I know we were going to
from a 781 phone number, Wednesday, February 29, 6:45 PM EST

Finish the eval. Should i change her visit with her?
from a 781 phone number, Wednesday, February 29, 6:46 PM EST

How awkward to schedule two dates on top of each other. What a social faux pas.

Emergency rm w mb. Fell backwards. Hit head. Cat scan ekg. All ok i think. Precaution. Xoxm
from an 847 phone number, Thursday, March 1, 11:55 PM EST

werlein Mb lving emerg hosp post backward fall. We r pooped. Xox m
from an 847 phone number, Friday, March 2, 2:34 AM EST

I hope MB is doing okay. That sounds like a scary fall.

P.S. This is from the same 847 as always, obviously.

So srry for the lotion its ok
from s 541 phone number, Sunday, February 26, 11:41 PM EST

LAUGHMYF*****a**off
from a 541 phone number, Saturday, March 3, 1:48 PM EST

Heather asked if i like you i said as a friend yes
from a 541 phone number, Saturday, March 3, 1:55 PM EST

Still more from this guy. Who now, we learn, likes Leila "as a friend." Sorry to break this to you, but friends don't text friends every seven minutes. I think Heather is on to something.