I LOVE YOU MOMMY
from a 915 phone number, Friday, October 30, 5:55 PM

So sweet!

hey, sorry. i had a girlscout meeting. Whats up?
from a 973 phone number, Friday, October 30, 5:24 PM

I hope this was a successful meeting, in which 973 served God and her country, helped people at all times, and lived by the Girl Scout Law.

Anser leila
-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Thursday, October 29, 8:27 PM

Hi
-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Thursday, October 29, 9:57 PM

Hi i am playing LPS
-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Friday, October 30, 7:18 PM

Hi wut are you doing
-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Friday, October 30, 7:21 PM

How can one girl send so many text messages without a single one of them being interesting??

Are you girls walking tomarow night or what? Hah, I'm a texting junkie now!
from a 208 phone number, Tuesday, October 29, 12:04 AM

Oh, I don't think you're really a texting junkie, 208. Trust me, I have seen texting junkies in action. They text Leila ten times an hour. That is not you. Not yet.

i put the movie in your purse, please return today
Charley
from a 601 phone number, Wednesday, October 28, 7:36 AM

Yeah, or else there will be overdue fines! And then Leila and Charley will have a FIGHT!

hey, wut don't u like?...lol...i need more sentences!
from a 781 phone number, Tuesday, October 27, 3:39 PM

This sounds to me like 781 had to interview Leila in French class today, and now her homework is to write up some French sentences about what Leila likes and does not like. Only they spent all of class dicking around (as you do, when your assignment i to work in pairs), so now 781 has to text Leila to find out what the heck she should include in her homework.

That is probably the most parsimonious explanation.

got your voicemail. stuck in a classroom. i will bring leila's fins to hood. traffic will suck driving home in the rain...
from a 301 phone number, Tuesday, October 27, 3:25 PM

It confuses me when Leila Texters refer to Leila in the third person. Why not just say "I will bring your fins to hood"? For that matter, why does Leila have fins in the first place?

Need to get your truck done before you wreck what was just done
from a 410 phone number, Tuesday, October 27, 9:19 AM

410 really doesn't have much faith in Leila's driving skills, does he?

i loooooooooooove you guys, i have a tournament a soccer tournament
from a 423 phone number, Monday, October 26, 6:13 PM

"A tournament? What kind of tournament? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Oh, wait-- hold up-- she has qualified this statement! A SOCCER tournament! Okay, phew, the world makes sense again."

FWD: 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2 or 6.3
from a 443 phone number, Monday, October 26, 2:07 PM

These are obviously options for things. But what? They're a little low to be gymnastics scores. They're way too low to be temperatures. And why are 5.3 to 6.0 being discounted out of hand? Thoughts?

What is a charter school
from a 978 phone number, Sunday, October 25, 10:18 PM

Isn't this what wikipedia is for?

gotta bulk up
from an 814 phone number, Sunday, October 25, 5:17 PM

Maybe you should talk to Chunky-Man. I bet he could help you bulk up.

what r u wearing?
" chunky-man "
from a 713 phone number, Sunday, October 25, 2:17 AM

At 2:13 AM, there is only one thing Chunky-Man could mean by this text, and it's not, "What are you wearing when we volunteer at the soup kitchen tomorrow?"

Also: "Chunky-Man"? Eww.

Yes to hellraiser. You're special. THIS is my first text!
from a 208 phone number, Sunday, October 25, 12:45 AM

Sorry you wasted your first text on me, 208. Awkward.

Omg leila.... The pianist we're listening to did the pride and prejudice sountrack!!! You should be here! :( he's incredible...
from a 512 phone number, Saturday, October 24, 10:21 PM

In my day, I have met many Pride and Prejudice devotees, but I don't think any of them have been obsessed with the film or TV series because of its soundtrack. Is that really the best part? I always thought it had something to do with the pretty dresses, or the fact the the protagonist snags a rich guy who's kind of a dick to her.

U r a butt so suck urself jk lol
from a 425 phone number, Saturday, October 24, 1:16 PM

"I just said some kind of horrible things to you, but then I immediately mentioned that I am "just kidding" and even "laughing out loud," so you can't possibly take offense." That makes sense, right?

Just wanted to let you know that dad was admitted to the hospitak this morning call me sue
from a 218 phone number, Thursday, October 22, 1:11 PM

Because I am a very busy (read: horrible) person, I didn't tell Sue that Leila didn't get her text message until the following morning. I hope Sue didn't think that Leila failed to reply because she just cavalierly didn't care about their dad. I'm sure she cares.

heyhey did u go 2 mock trail yesterday
DiGiorgio #18
from a 315 phone number, Wednesday, October 21, 7:43 AM

Ah, a mock trial kid. This was never me. I was a debate kid. Which is... um... cooler?

by any chance are my keys in the girls bag
from a 562 phone number, Monday, October 19, 10:28 PM

r u on vacation
from a 562 phone number, Saturday, October 24, 1:19 PM

No, I am not on vacation, and, no, your keys are not in the girls' bag. You have simply lost them. And Leila.

FWD:Are we playing maj? i can play
from an 803 phone number, Monday, October 19, 8:47 PM

Because, see, this is what happens when we let grandmas have cell phones: I start receiving text messages about mah jong.

My grandma took my phone away. Why arent you pickin up?
from a 631 phone number, Sunday, October 18, 11:03 PM

What, did you steal your grandma's phone to text Leila?

make sure u wear ur besti necklace tomorrow 2 school! :) :) Andrew will b so jealous!!
from a 973 phone number, Sunday, October 18, 7:35 PM

| 13 + -4 | box inbetween | 7 |
from a 973 phone number, Monday, October 19, 5:03 PM

I'm guessing that Leila and 973 are in maybe seventh grade? Because I think that's roughly when I learned about absolute values. Also, seventh grade is right around the time when a best friend necklace can totally destroy someone else. Poor Andrew.

hey...cheeks...it's mommy using destiny's phone...r u having fun?
( :De$t~Le@h; )
from an 805 phone number, Sunday, October 18, 2:03 AM

There will come a time-- perhaps even in our lifetime-- when the semicolon's only purpose will be as a the eyes in a winking smily face.

anda corre y corre Leila anda durmiendose erik anda tose y tose y junior tambien yo dumiendome no a cer nqda .FamiliaJaime.
from a 712 phone number, Saturday, October 17, 6:32 PM

This text message at least has spaces between the words. But that still does not really help me.

walk run and run Leila walk sleeping erik walk cough and cough and junior too I am sleeping not to be nothing
.FamilyJaime.

WHAT.

You left your monkey.
from a 310 phone number, Saturday, October 17, 3:10 PM

I guess 310 really means "money." But I HOPE she means "monkey." I would like to believe that somewhere out there is a Leila with a pet monkey. I take comfort from that.

hey, r u there? hello?! i wanna know wut u know! lol...
from a 781 phone number, Saturday, October 17, 2:26 PM

I want to know wut Leila knows, too! 'Fess up, Leila.

We are blessed!!!
from an 813 phone number, Friday, October 16, 9:44 PM

Did something in particular happen to make you feel this way, 813, or is this just your standard way of being?

This is Leila's favrit project! She and Sarah r workin sooo hard! Get some more poke players! luv u!
from a 916 phone number, Friday, October 16, 7:21 PM

I wonder if Sarah sent this? To herself and to Leila? Maybe they just really like talking about themselves in the third person?

gdw wat tp
Sarahs bank
from an 843 phone number, Friday, October 16, 4:14 PM

Hi sup
***Redneck***
from an 843 phone number, Tuesday, October 20, 7:47 PM

No idea.

Leilatedioelmandadolapaty?contamesi?
from a 310 phone number, Friday, October 16, 3:50 PM

As previously mentioned in this blog, I am not exactly the world's foremost expert in languages. And this is even harder when Leila Texters don't include spaces between their words. Here's what I think this one is:

"Leila te dio el mandado la paty? contame si?"

Which would, to translate further, probably be:

"Leila, I gave you the something the something? Something me, yes?"

Oh, screw it.

I tried but I couldn't get you anything sorry. I have beer you can drink though.
from a 334 phone number, Thursday, October 15, 8:31 PM

Beer?! I don't want beer, bitch. I told you Malibu!

im in my friends car
from a 562 phone number, Thursday, October 15, 6:07 PM

mom when u get to the gym come in i have a suprize
from a 562 phone number, Thursday, October 5, 11:56 PM

562 is California, so, even though my phone thinks that this girl was at the gym at midnight, she was actually only there at 9pm. Which is a totally reasonable time for your mom to pick up up.