Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Brad found mazithra cheese at smiths
from an 801 phone number, Monday, February 20, 8:14 PM EST

Get to sleep crazy lady
from an 801 phone number, Tuesday, February 21, 3:35 AM EST

Noon might be out for me, bad sleep and bad shot
from an 801 phone number, Tuesday, February 21, 10:06 AM EST

Yeah, I agree: if I'm texting Leilas at 3:35 AM, no way do I want to be meeting people at noon. I need my nine hours.
Hey leila this is joe joe if you are still going to the mall will you bring me home from there I am thinking about going with aliea
from a 330 phone number, Monday, February 20, 7:06 PM EST

When I was 12 and 13 years old, I like lived at the mall. I don't know what I was doing there. I didn't really have the money to buy things. Yet I was there constantly. Now I live in New York City and don't go to the mall at all. As Bob Dylan pointed out (about me going to malls): "The times, they are a-changin'."
werlein Talk 2morrow. Am stressed by interviews wrealtors. Sophie is so competent! Legal training shows. i love & miss u!,|[||
from an 847 phone number, Sunday, February 19, 11:55 PM EST

Okay, guys, this is good to know. Next time we need some help selling a house, let's all enlist Sophie.

Now, 847, as you know if you follow the Leila Texts regularly, is someone we have been hearing from for years. We know this because she starts all her texts "werlein." For example:

From 2009.
From 2010.

She is one of my most cherished pen pals.
Just realized why I never want to play monopoly. I just got cremated by a 6 year old!
from a 314 phone number, Sunday, February 19, 6:55 PM EST

You don't like to play Monopoly? What are you, a Communist?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

How waz the dance ; }
from an 845 phone number, Saturday, February 11, 4:40 PM EST

The math is 363 #1~18 ; }
from an 845 phone number, Monday, February 13, 2:02 PM EST

If u guys can sleepover we should c if we can go 2 the movies since the thearter is down the street from my house ; }
from an 845 phone number, Thursday, February 16, 2:14 PM EST

Can u please txt me the criss words
; }

from an 845 phone number, Thursday. February 16, 8:14 PM EST

could ur mom or dad bring u at 2ish
; }

from an 845 phone number, Saturday, February 18, 9:36 AM EST

Let me know when ur leaving
; }

from an 845 phone number, Saturday, February 18, 2:32 PM EST

There was a lot of build-up to last night's sleepover. I would really like to know how it all ended up. What time did Leila arrive at 845's house? Did they get to go to the movies? Can someone please send a follow-up text?
Cn u share wordly wise with me? i 4got it :(
from an 808 phone number, Friday, February 17, 1:02 PM EST

When I was in third grade, we had to use the Wordly Wise workbooks to improve our vocabulary. For whatever reason, my whole class hated it. Even me. I was really into words, but I hated Wordly Wise.

The fourth graders also had to use Wordly Wise, and we could not stand the idea that, even when we finished third grade, we would still have to suffer through a whole other year of this thing. So I started a petition against continuing Wordly Wise in the fourth grade. Everyone signed it. Even kids who weren't in my class. I was not a popular child, so it was kind of surprising that people were willing to sign any petition originated by me. But I think it was clear that I was our only shot at undoing the injustice of Wordly Wise.

Once I had collected 100 signatures, I gave the petition to our third grade teacher, Mrs. Bond. She read it, and then she tore it into shreds. Right in front of me.

From this experience, I learned two things:

1) Public schools are not a democracy, and the Bill of Rights does not apply.
2) If you're going to present a petition, you should really make a photocopy of it first.

Until I received 808's text message, I had no idea that schools were still using Wordly Wise. I hope this Leila is having a better experience with it than I did.
ms wanker report to office principal skid mark will need your itinerary al
from an 814 phone number, Sunday, February 19, 2:40 PM EST

This is clearly a joke; nonetheless, it got me to wondering whether real people have the last name "Wanker." According to facebook: yes.
Im starting to feel crappy about money im at patricks driuers ed
from a 781 phone number, Thursday, February 16, 6:58 PM EST

I'm sorry, 781, you're just not as unique as you think you are. Most people feel crappy about money. That's how it goes.
New baby
from a 562 phone number, Thursday, February 16, 12:51 AM EST

Why haven't you called or come to see me? you used to stay with Kenny , but not with me. mom
from a 505 phone number, Thursday, February 16, 12:02 AM EST

No way. Really? Do moms talk like this? I know from the passive-aggressive mothering technique (love you, Mom!), but this is straight-up aggressive. Does that actually work?
Hey Babe if you are not too busy soon for a few minutes can you plz call my cell phone? Im stuck with a thing on the computer need help tech thanks
from an 805 phone number, Monday, February 3, 1:21 PM EST

These words are out of order, but I still understand 805's meaning. That's one of the amazing things about language.

Anyway, 805: No, I can't help you with a thing on the computer, unless it's like, "How do I make this word appear in italics?" Anything past that, you'd better just go to the Genius Bar and cry.
Thank all of you for the beautiful flowers . They really perk me up as do your calls. Please keep texting and calling as I can't walk yet and I'm bored
from an 828 phone number, Saturday, February 18, 10:24 AM EST

I considered calling 828 and chatting with her for a while, as per her request, but ultimately decided that might be construed as creepy?
Opener in mailbox is for Leanne, envelope is for you - I don't know which one of you will get to house first. I left msg for tax lady - either Tues or Thu
from a 401 phone number, Saturday, February 18, 12:16 PM EST



Thanks for that reminder, 401.
Caan you believe that?!?!
from a 609 phone number, Saturday, February 18, 1:41 PM EST

I'm not sure. No, I think? Pretty sure I can't believe it.
Do u want to meet us for dinner at fire n oak only? We r going at 7:30
from a 917 phone number, Saturday, February 18, 4:17 PM EST

Fire & Oak is a unique American Grill. Apparently they serve burgers. Maybe this Leila and 917 should meet up with this other Leila and 617 for some unique American burgers and fries?
Have u guys eaten? if not I was thinkin burgers and fries
from a 617 phone number, Saturday, February 18, 6:52 PM EST

Is this the sort of "burgers and fries" venture that also involves milkshakes? If so: no, I haven't eaten yet.
What size shoe are you in converse type jthings
from a 315 phone number, Saturday, February 18, 7:00 PM EST

I'm an 8 in Converse type things. Feel free to buy them for me "as a surprise." I have no idea what type of Converse thing to expect!
Aloha Lei, howzit going? Please give my warmest Aloha to boys and hubby! LUV U AUNTY SHARON
from an 808 phone number, Sunday, February 9, 2:33 AM EST

If I ever went on vacation to Hawaii, I would definitely take the time to text every single person in my phone book, even those with names like, "David ?" and "Dermatologist," just to say "aloha." What I mean is, what's the point of going to Hawaii if you can't rub it in?
Adreeseh khoonatoono misheh bedi beman?
from a 310 phone number, Sunday, February 19, 2:04 PM EST

Bonus points to anyone who knows what language this is. You don't even have to translate it. Just identify it.
from a 601 phone number, Saturday, February 11, 8:51 PM EST

It is a fine line between text messages and telegrams.