Saturday, May 3, 2008

noth to pomona 5 mi ca 91 west 3 mi exit 28 lemon st towards harbor or anaheim blvd right at n lemon st 1632 lemon
from a 949 phone number, Saturday, May 3, 2:05 AM

California knows how to party!
And do you want to know what you find when you follow these directions?
is this real
from a 770 phone number, Friday, May 2, 9:31 PM

Probably for me, but I couldn't tell for sure. If you ever actually want to get a text BACK from me (thus proving to all your friends that this is, indeed, For Real, and increasing your coolness at a party or something), you need to be even more explicit than this. Say something like, "This is a Leila Text! Like on your blog! Text me back if you get this!"

Simply "is this real" could be not about Leila Texts, but rather some complicated existential question about the lines between fiction and reality, and frankly I don't feel like involving myself in that sort of debate right now.
I love u jmw0td.mgw ptajm.mwgp wgpmgmgmp wp wgpwgmwpmwpG w@gtjg.M
from a 203 phone number, Frday, My 2, 8:04 PM

Oh, I hate you. Like I have NOTHING BETTER to do than sit here and type up your random collection of w, p, g, and m's?
U ok?
from an 814 phone number, Friday, May 2, 6:52 AM

You know what always confuses me? Is how Australians and Britons say, "You okay?" as a way of saying, "How are you doing?" In America, of course, you wouldn't ask someone "You okay?" unless there was reason to suspect that she might not be... like if she looks tear-stained or ill, or if you know that something bad has just happened to her.

So if this is a text from an American, then I want to know what might have happened to Leila that would make 814 questions whether she's okay. And if this is a text from an Australian, then I want to say, Curses, you have confused me yet again.
FWD: Hi matt , can we go with 3 days and increase if need additional days? (to conserve). thx
from a 949 phone number, Friday, May 2, 12:07 AM

I wonder why Matt thought this question was important enough to forward to Leila. He also forwards it without comment (like, he doesn't say anything like, "Debbie asked me this question. Do you know how I should answer her?"), so he must assume that Leila would know exactly what to do with this message.

Frankly, speaking as a Leila, I have no idea what to do with this message. Three days of what? To conserve what? Money? I hope the intended Leila would be more on top of things than I am.
I miss u
come see me

from a 908 phone number, Thursday, May 1, 8:16 PM

Not for me. Texts like these rarely are.
Hey bring ur sleeping bag a towel and wash cloth and fun
from a 713 phone number, Wednesday, April 30, 9:56 PM

SLUMBER PARTAAAAY!!!! Though I'm a little surprised by this packing list. Mostly by the "wash cloth" bit. I mean, you can take a shower and do without a washcloth, no problem. If this were my packing list, I would definitely replace "wash cloth" with "toothbrush." But I guess we all have our own priorities.
hey Leila I got a new phone and it has a full keyboard and a camera
from a 610 phone number, Wednesday, April 30, 7:10 PM

Whoa, my friend Emily got a new phone with a full keyboard and camera earlier this week, too! But I know this text isn't from her. Because she is not from Philadelphia. Still, both Emily and 610 are now half as unique as they had originally thought they were.
Please let me sleep!
from a 914 phone number, Wednesday, April 30, 6:30 PM

No! It's 6:30 in the evening! Be awake!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

from a 646 phone number, Wednesday, April 30, 7:15 AM

from a 646 phone number, Wednesday, April 30, 7:37 AM

This is actually kind of an awesome writing style. You have to focus on it, but you can still make out what 646 is saying. It reminds me of when I first learned to write, at the age of five, and I had no concept of leaving space between different words. It doesn't come naturally, you know.

Oh, and it sounds like it might be your birthday, 646? In which case, a hearty HAPPY BIRTHDAY from all of us here... uh... on the internet.
i want 2 thank u sooo much! u rox! luv u!
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, April 29, 7:33 AM

Wow! I wonder what Leila did. Obviously something that totally rox. Way to go, Intended Leila! You are an inspiration to Leilas everywhere.
FWD: Fwd:FWD: Squeeeeeez! You've been given a hug! I WANT ONE BACK! If u get 1-3 ur cute, 4-6 ur hot. Here's one at least u know ur loved by someone
from a 765 phone number, Monday, April 28, 8:49 PM

"At least u know ur loved by someone"? Ouch.

I find it so sad and postmodern that a texted hug should be in such high demand, and that it supposedly an indicator of how attractive you are, not to mention how loved you are. I very rarely get texted hugs-- and never any that are actually intended for me-- and I don't know if this means that I am not even cute, or if it just means that I am over the age of 13, or what.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Can u send me that pic of grace smilling plz

from a 978 phone number, Sunday, April 27, 9:38 PM

I read this text message aloud to my mother, who, anxious to be of use, provided me with a number of insightful comments to use here, including, "Does that mean there are a lot of photos of Grace NOT smiling? If so, why not? Is this the only photo in which Grace smiles?"

I was like, "God, Mom, I am the blogger here! You don't even know what a text message IS!"

But, credit where credit is due: If my mother knew what text messages were, and knew how to update a blog, hers would probably be better than this one.
she wont respond
from a 763 phone number, Sunday, April 27, 7:14 PM

And neither will Leila. Tough evening, isn't it?
FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Fwd:- Fwd: This is so creepy!fwd this to 9 ppl n0t me then turn your phone off..turn it back on and see ur new wallpaper!!!
from a 609 phone number, Sunday, April 27, 5:07 PM

Jeez, is this one still making the rounds? This particular forward was all the rage a few months ago, but I really thought it had died a quiet death, as I hadn't seen it yet in 2008. But apparently it's back. Look out, world!
leila, you got me on my knees, leila=) hope clapton brightens your day a bit I
from a 518 phone number, Saturday, April 26, 6:15 PM

Sometimes people sing this song to me. Mostly strangers in bars who are making a poor, misguided, drunken attempt at hitting on me. But sometimes even actual people who I know. I usually smile at them and don't correct them, but what I always want to tell them is that my name is not pronounced like Layla.

Perhaps this Leila's name is, though. Let's hope.
checchoo scored to tie the game 2-2
from a 408 phone number, Saturday, April 26, 12:22 AM

did u watch the game
from a 408 phone number, Monday, April 28, 12:07 AM

That'd be hockey, for all of you too lazy to google "Checchoo." Thank you, Leila Texters, for your unending efforts to inform me about the world of pro sports.
'Tell your steaming drunk mother you love her before you go; she may not be there to comfort when you discover your first flash of zen. . .'
from a 916 phone number, Friday, April 25, 8:39 PM

The quotation marks indicate this line must be a quote from something. But what? Google brings up nothing. Can anyone out there name that book/movie/song/inside joke?
It would be funny! But i dont think squirrelinator would fit on my license plate..but i found by prom dress its red and makes my boobs look big! Haha :)
from an 828 phone number, Friday, April 25, 4:28 PM

This is the same 828 who has been having such an acrimonious relationship with Leila over the past couple weeks. Since I have now both texted and telephoned her to explain that her texts are not going through, I frankly cannot think how else to get this message through to her. I give up (at least for now).

I wonder where the nickname "squirrelinator" comes from. Nicknames always have amazing back stories. At least, amazing to the people who made them up. Sometimes not to anyone else.