Friday, January 16, 2009

Hey baby. I tried to call you but you must have had your phone off. I hope you guys are having lots of fun. I love you. Good night sweetie.
from an 865 phone number, Friday, January 16, 9:43 PM

Oh, I wish I were this Intended Leila! I hope she and 865 stay together forever.
Hi sweetie mollys number is 651 261 xxxx if u need it_-lybb
from a 952 phone number, Friday, January 16, 9:57 AM

I am a little tempted to call that number (the x's were actual digits in the text I received) and say, like, "Heyyy, Molly, it's Leila! Yeah, Lybb gave me your number. So... what's up? What's the dealio?" And just see what happens. Molly would not be able to hang up on me, am I right?
Im gonna head to bed so i look pretty tomorrow
from a 781 phone number, Thursday, January 15, 10:04 PM

Yes! I am a huge believer in beauty sleep. I rarely GET my beauty sleep. But I believe in it nonetheless.
FWD: Sorary was asking if we want to newyork with her feb 20th what u say
from a 703 phone number, Thursday, January 15, 9:45 PM

I say yeah! Give me a call. Let's hang out, 703, Sorary, and Leila. Just text me and I'll show up wherever you are, so long as it's below 14th Street. I think you know how to reach me.
Hi how r u? U r so lucky u left and went back 2 school. It is getting ugly @ work.
from a 765 hone number, Thursday, January 15, 4:31 PM

Coincidentally, my former co-worker Kathryn showed up at the office on the day this text message was sent. Kath, like this Leila, left work to go back 2 school. I kind of wanted to show her this text and pretend like it had been sent to her. But things aren't actually ugly @ my work. YET.
sunday would work better for me. are you free then?
from a 510 phone number, Tuesday, January 13, 10:36 PM

Ahhh, alas, 510, I will be in DC on Sunday. But thank you for the invitation, whatever it is you were inviting me to.
FWD: In 23 minutes someone will say "I'm sorry babe" "I love you" or "wanna go out"? Send to 9 people or bad luck!
from a 719 phone number, Tuesday, January 13, 5:53 PM

FWD:FW: Fwd:Fwd: Msg: If u believe in jesus send this to ten people and add a cross. If u dont u will b sorry!
++++++++++++ +++++++ *100%

from a 719 phone number, Tuesday, January 13, 5:59 PM

Today is hottie day and baby u bangin! Send to all ur hot friends(even me) if u get 1=ugly,3hoti 4bangin 5hoe (J O R D A N)

from a 719 phone number, Tuesday, January 13, 5:59 PM

For Christmas, my former boss Lara got her 10-year-old daughter a real cell phone with actual texting capabilities. I said to Lara, "I just want you to know that text messages like these are the only ones your daughter will be sending. That's cool with me if it's cool with you. But I thought you should be aware."

"In 23 minutes..."? "If u believe in jesus..."? "5hoe..."? Again, it's none of my business. But really.

Monday, January 12, 2009

RE: FWD: you will be kissed on Jan. 16th by a person who thinks you are perfect, and the 17th will be yo
--Cow girl--

from a 386 phone number, Monday, January 12, 9:51 PM

The 17th will be what? Can it be something good, I hope? I guess this means I'll have to leave my house on the 16th, after all. I was thinking about coming straight home from work and changing into my pajamas at 6pm and not emerging until the following afternoon. But that might make it less likely that a person who thinks I am perfect will kiss me. So I guess I need to change my plans.
FWD: FWD: Sometimes she 4gets what she is worth. Pass this on 2 every beautiful woman u know. I did :)
from a 651 phone number, Monday, January 12, 8:22 PM

Answer me honestly: Would it boost your self-esteem to receive this forward? Because I feel like, if it were a personalized text, if it were, "Leila, I think sometimes you forget what you're worth, and I wanted to remind you that you're beautiful and you're worth it"-- I think then this would be a very reassuring text. But when it starts out with two "FWD"s, then, I don't know, I just have trouble believing that 651 really means it.
leila its faith. ure leaving this wk and didn't tell me? i want to meet up with u tomorrow. let me know what timme.


from a 609 phone number, Monday, January 12, 7:21 PM

Sometimes I (like this Leila, it seems) try to skip town without telling my friends. This gives me an illusion of control over my life. But then my friends (like Kristin, it seems) feel slighted. It's hard not to be beholden to people.
Wat web do u go to put music onb ur uipod Xoxo-ANJANAE!!!!
from a 281 phone number, Sunday, January 11, 10:19 PM

There is only one web, and that is the World Wide Web, and that is also not how I put music on my iPod, so honestly I just don't know how to answer 281.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

jhey watcha doin?
from a 310 phone number, Sunday, January 11, 6:42 PM

Updating my blog. Eating Kashi "heart healthy" cereal for dinner. About to switch my laundry. Etc. It's a 24/7 party here.
send me some new pics of Jayla
from a 646 phone number, Sunday, January 11, 3:24 PM

646 is NYC, where I live. Is Jayla really that cute? Maybe I should go find her somewhere in the city and stare at her. Though I guess just because 646 is from here, that doesn't mean Leila and Jayla live here, too. Maybe they live in Oklahoma. I refuse to go all the way to Oklahoma just to see this Jayla character, who might not even be as cute as 646 implies here.
what website did you use for beauchamp homework?
from a 408 phone number, Sunday, January 11, 2:21 PM

They must have some teacher with the last name Beauchamp. Since I don't know what subject s/he teaches, I'm afraid I can't help here. Sorry, 408.
Happy new year. Hope all is well with you and yours.

from an 860 phone number, Saturday, January 10, 2:04 PM

Carmen, the world moves much faster now than it did when you a girl. We are in an era of instant communication. If you're sending your happy new years texts on January 10, you are already too late.
If i came up to yo and told you i got married who is the first person that would come to your mind that you would think i got married to
from a 719 phone number, Friday, January 9, 9:27 AM

Is this a forward, or did 719 just make this up on her own? It sounds like a forward to me, despite its missing "FWD"s are the beginning. But why would anyone send this on? Any answers seem like they would be pretty useless. It's not even "Who do you think I ought to marry, if I had to get married right now." That might be interesting to get your friends' opinions on. But rather it's "Let's say I'm actually completely insane and I went ahead and got married without telling you, even though I'm not even dating anyone. Whom would you guess that I, in my dementia, got married to?" And then, what, Leila is supposed to write back, like, "Oooh, Ted! He's cute!" Or what?
yo are we going out after u come back on the bus or what
from a 484 phone number, Thursday, January 8, 6:40 PM

yooo sry bout tonite
from a 484 phone number, Thursday, January 8, 9:49 PM

Sounds like they were going to go out after Leila came back on the bus, but then 484 bailed for some reason. Ew. I hate when people bail on evening plans. And no, an apology text alone does not make amends. Particularly if you can't even be bothered to spell out the word "sorry."
Itana gonaa get knocked out she was talkin bout us at lunchhh Xoxo-ANJANAE!!!!
from a 281 phone number, Thursday, January 8, 6:40 PM

Ooooh! She was talkin bout you at lunch? What a bitch! Sounds like there's going to be a rumble.