Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Trick or treat smell my feet give me something good 2 eat if u dont i dont care ill pull down ur underwear

from a 360 phone number, Tuesday, October 30, 1:26 PM

Seriously, who decided it was a good idea to give cell phones to nine-year-olds?
Wed is going to suck. Bus is at 7:15am for noon flight
from a 303 phone number, Friday, October 26, 5:25 PM

Ughhhh that IS going to suck! Leila will have to wake up at like 6:45 AM, and that's still assuming she's finished all her packing the night before. I don't envy the girl. Move closer to the airport, why don't you? If it's a noon flight, you don't really need to be there before 10 AM, which means you must live nearly three hours away from the airport?!? Unless the bus is stopping many times along the ride there, and 303 person just happens to live right at the beginning of the route. Or maybe this trip is being organized by someone incredibly neurotic who insists upon their all arriving at the airport four hours before the flight leaves.

Regardless, 303 person and Leila have my pity.
FWD: FWD: Shes having the baby! the classroom is mine i am so excited
from a 765 phone number, Wednesday, October 24, 8:08 AM

Okay, here is what I'm surmising happened:

Some woman-- say her name is Ann-- is an assistant teacher to some other woman, say, Bonnie. Then Ann finds out that Bonnie is pregnant! Ann is excited because this would make her the head teacher. But then Bonnie has second thoughts. She considers abortion. Ann waits on pins and needles.

But then Bonnie decides: "Shes having the baby!" Gleefully, Ann texts her best friend, um, Cara. Cara forwards this text to their mutual friend, Diane, who works at the school with Ann, assuming Diane will be pleased for Ann.

Only here's the catch: Diane only PRETENDS to be friends with Ann. Really she HATES her, and she sees in this forwarded text message the opportunity to BRING ANN DOWN. So she forwards this text message to Leila, the SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, as a way of saying, "Look how callous Ann is! She doesn't even care that Bonnie is having a baby. All she cares about is getting her own classroom."

But that's where Diane went wrong. Rather than addressing the forwarded text message to Leila, the principal, she sent it to me, Leila, the Verizon text girl. So her little ploy to bring down Ann in the eyes of their shared boss won't work, after all! I have thwarted you, Diane!

(That is the most logical explanation of this particular text message, right?)