Sunday, December 16, 2007

Hi Leila
How are you
WHen you are done in the bathroom do you want to go in your room so we can text

from a 949 phone number, Saturday, December 16, 2:54 PM

Yeah, girl. That sounds like a fun exercise. Why don't you and Leila go into her room, and then you can send her text messages, which she won't receive them, because I will instead, only you won't know it, and then... Well, I guess that's about all that will happen. So definitely, fun, go do it.
from a 714 phone number, Saturday, December 15, 10:47 PM

Does anyone else think this looks like ToysRUs?
sorry bout yesterday really bad day and now im fighting with daniel
from a 313 phone number, Saturday, December 15, 6:36 PM

u trying to get me back
from a 313 phone number, Saturday, December 15, 7:02 PM

This was where I had to call back 313 girl and reassure her that I have no idea what she did yesterday to Leila that she's now apologizing for, but I'm sure her saying sorry will clear things up, because no, Leila isn't trying to "get her back"; Leila simply didn't receive her texted apology, that's all.

I wonder how many friendships' fates actually rest in my hands. Being the recipient of the Leila Texts can be quite the responsibility.
sebbih goulilou all u have is a fat ass and large hips
from a 702 phone number, Saturday, December 15, 2:23 PM

I take this as some sort of criticism, except for the first two words, which may be critical? But mostly read like nonsense. And it's hard to take someone seriously, when they tell you that you have a fat ass and large hips, when they preface this statement with faux-Swahili.
Hello? where r u? mummies nervous plz call
from a 718 phone number, Friday, December 14, 10:00 PM

This now makes me wonder where Leila was, that her mummie should have gotten nervous. Was Leila supposed to be home by 9 PM, and then she didn't call to say she'd be out later? But why WAS she out later? And why DIDN'T she call? I hope Leila wasn't doing drugs. Or getting pregnant.
ill be at U31 buddys spinning..gaslamp killer..u and some girls should come out
from an 858 phone number, Friday, December 14, 9:38 PM

Question: Is "Gas Lamp Killer" his friend's DJ name? And, if so, WHY? I mean, I am all for DJ names, especially ones that include the word "killer," but... How can you kill a gas lamp? Am I just so square that I can't understand these things?
Ou est tu?
from a 718 phone number, Friday, December 14, 7:11 PM

The Leila Texts may actually turn out to be very useful for building my French vocabulary, too.
Leelo en voz baja: Virgencita, t amo mucho y necesito para siempre estes en lo mas profundo d mi corazon,no m dejes de tu mano,cubre con los benediciones
from a 951 phone number, Friday, December 14, 4:39 PM

a mi familia,hogar, empleo,finazas,suenos,pro yectos y amigos. pasa esta oracion a 7 pers. excepto a mi, recibiras un milagro manana no lo ignores
from a 951 phone number, Friday, December 14, 4:40 PM

Thank God I took Spanish in high school:

Text 1: Read this softly: little virgin, I love you a lot and I need for you always to be in the profoundest of my heart, do not leave me from your hand, cover with the benedictions.

Tex2: To my family, home, employment, finances, dreams, protectors, and friends. Pass this oration on to 7 people excepting me, and you will receive a miracle tomorrow that you cannot ignore.

The Leila Texts may actually turn out to be very useful for building my Spanish vocabulary.
i bet ill show up and ya'll are gunna be sleepy..and crashed out
from an 858 phone number, Friday, December 14, 3:58 AM

You are correct in your bet, 858 guy. I WAS sleepy and crashed out when you sent this text message. Because it was 4 AM IN THE GODDAMN MORNING ON A GODDAMN WEEKNIGHT.
Hi give me a call please thank sandra
from a 505 phone number, Thursday, December 13, 12:14 PM

I did give Sandra a call. Because, you know, she asked me to. And I do my best to follow orders.

Unrelated: I'm going to be out of the country, with no access to my cell phone, during the last week of December. I'm genuinely worried about how many text messages are going to accumulate without my being around to delete them. My saved text messages inbox is already at 85% capacity. What happens when you go over your limit? The best I can hope for is that people won't text anyone named Leila during that week. I don't know if I can bank on that.
Hey wats up
from a 301 phone number, Wednesday, December 12, 6:10 PM

I'm sitting in my living room, eating Annie's macaroni and cheese in my pajamas, so, honestly, not that much.