Thursday, July 24, 2008

hi mom what r u doing
from a 303 phone number, Thursday, July 24, 9:28 PM

Updating my blog. Oh wait, sorry, I'm not your mom.

Here's a question for you all: Do you have your mom listed in your phone's address book under her first name (as 303 apparently does) or under "M" for "Mom"? Mine is under "M": frankly, I assumed everyone's was.
comin out?
from a 301 phone number, Thursday, July 24, 8:18 PM

I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear.
Waaa! i just saw the midnight showing of the dark knight on imax. fucking amazing
from a 650 phone number, Thursday, July 24, 5:57 AM

I don't even need to look up this area code to know that 650 does not live (as I do) on the East Coast. That is, unless the Dark Night movie is nearly six hours long. Which I really, really hope it is not.
FWD: FWD: FWD: A 6yr old girl needs a heart transplant the phone companies have agreed 2donate 5cnts every time this msg is fwd.
from a 610 phone number, Wednesday, July 23, 6:53 PM

I was with my friend Kath when I received this text message. "Oh my God," Kath said when she read it, sounding severely concerned about the health of this 6yr old girl. "Are you going to forward that??"

I was like, "Kathryn. NO. Be less gullible, will you, please."
hi do not loock
from a 407 phone number, Wednesday, July 23, 4:46 PM

Is that "do not look"-- in which case, do not look at what? Hopefully not this text, because, sorry, it's too late for that.
Or is it "do not lock"-- in which case, do not lock what? The door, probably. But which door?
Walk buddy b4 bed plz
from a 404 phone number, Wednesday, July 23, 9:07 PM

Have u Walked buddy b4 bed?
from a 404 phone number, Wednesday, July 23, 10:29 PM

W? R u?
from a 404 phone number, Wednesday, July 23, 10:33 PM

W? Is debit card?
from a 404 phone number, Thursday, July 24, 11:41 AM

That second text-- "Have u Walked buddy"-- is enormously clarifying. I understand now that when she said "Walk buddy", 404 didn't mean that she wanted Leila to accompany her on a walk-- she meant that she wanted Leila to walk a dog named Buddy. I feel much better having puzzled this out.

Unfortunately, we now have a new quandary; namely, what are these W's with question marks after them? I know sometimes people will text "Leila W." and then "W" will end up in the text body (instead of in the "address to" line)-- but "Leila W?" That is not an initial.
hey grl miss you
end to kno when
you return

from a 404 phone number, Tuesday, July 22, 9:38 PM

hi i have had a medium good day. best part was i got a haircut yea
from a 404 phone number, Thursday, July 24, 6:26 PM

Actually a different 404 number from this 404. But don't worry, there will be updates about that other 404 in just a moment.

I wonder if these two 404s are trying to reach the same Leila?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Le, Humphrey got sick again. what's the vet's number?
from a 703 phone number, Tuesday, July 22, 5:22 PM

Okay, that lends some clarity to this text. Apparently Humphrey is not a character from Gossip Girl but, rather, a dog. At least, I assume he's a dog. He could just be a dude who gets sick and needs to go to the veterinarian.
Can you please tell Tamara to mail the pdfs to my home account? Palmer will be pissed if we screw this up.
from a 408 phone number, Tuesday, July 22, 3:20 PM

I called this guy back because this sounded important and I didn't want Palmer to get pissed. When I explained to him, over the phone, about how his text message came to me and how he couldn't type in "L-E-I-L-A," he sounded pretty bewildered when he replied, "Sorry, I thought that was how it worked."

I don't know if dude has never texted before, or if he has but usually that name-spelling thing works for him, or if none of his texts have ever reached the intended recipients and he just never knew it before now, or what. As usual, I wanted to ask, but, as usual, he was so flustered/confused that our conversation ended before I was able to ask, "Wait--Sir!--Why did you think it worked that way?"
redhassan bigred

u uknow whats funny? u always say "bye" twice.

from a 775 phone number, Tuesday, July 22, 2:26 PM

You mean like "bye-bye"? Because that is actually an expression that people use sometimes.
R u ridin w kelsey home?
from a 404 phone number, Monday, July 21, 9:13 PM

Same person who was looking for a walk buddy and whose dining room has no boxes in it. Not sure how Kelsey fits into that equation.
from an 813 phone number, Monday, July 21, 5:53 PM

Did you know that last entry was my five HUNDREDTH post to this blog? Wow. That is like epic amounts of posting. And epic amounts of text messages.

As for this particular text message... Whatwhatwhat?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Hey leila
how r u?
and how is massachasettes

from a 248 phone number, Sunday, July 20, 1:37 PM

I'll grant you that "Massachusetts" is a tricky word to spell, but 248 was way off. That said, the nice thing about "Massachusetts" is that you can get half the letters wrong, yet people will still know what you're talking about. Masacshussettes. You can still read it, can't you?

Anyway, this text was eerie because I WAS in Massachusetts for the weekend. So is 248 someone I know, just failing to identify themselves? Or were there TWO of us Leilas in Massachusetts this weekend? Is Massachusetts big enough for the both of us?
Walk buddy?
from a 404 phone number, Friday, July 18, 9:31 PM

a dining room with no boxes hey!
from a 404 phone number, Sunday, July 20, 4:21 PM

Hey, indeed. I assume 404 just moved houses and has now finished unpacking his dining room. Which is awesome progress, by the way. That doesn't help explain why he wanted a "walk buddy," but I don't care.
are you going to grandma's

from a 951 phone number, Friday, July 18, 5:41 PM

what do you want to do????,....

from a 951 phone number, Friday, July 18, 9:30 PM

the reason why i called you is because i was gunna go over but my mom said that i have to take care of the baby but imma go oveer later

from a 951 phone number, Saturday, July 19, 6:27 PM

are you at home?????

from a 951 phone number, Sunday, July 20, 3:22 AM

I am so over *RiTa_PiTa* and her excess question marks and her family drama. I called her yesterday and was like, "Stop it. Stop stop stop." She didn't ask me how I was getting her text messages, or how I knew she was trying to reach her Leila. So either she was too overwhelmed by my call to ask questions, or she just doesn't have much curiosity.
i ordered cheese fries. bring danny by and we'll have a feast with seamus and humphrey
from a 703 phone number, Thursday, July 17, 7:57 PM

Since a character in Gossip Girl is "Dan Humphrey," I immediately assumed this text was some sort of oblique reference to him. But I guess it's more likely that Leila actually knows guys named Danny, Seamus, and Humphrey-- though where she found them is anyone's guess.
hey la.. this is my number... I'm working on getting a new one...

from a 210 phone number, Wednesday, July 16, 10:39 PM

I've never been a big nickname person, but there are those (mostly my godmother and my first-year college roommate) who call me "Lei." But there has never been anyone, ever, who has called me "La."