What did u end up doing for new years evee?
from a 951 phone number, Friday, January 1, 2:25 PM

Well. I went to my friend Winnie's party, and then I went to a bar, and then I went to my friend Clare's friends' party, and then I went to my friend Lexa's party, and then I went to another bar, and then I went home. All of this took nine hours, which is a solid workday (without a lunch break!) of partying. Also every party had a crudite platter, so I ate a great deal of crudite. Thanks for asking, 951.

What did you end up doing for New Years Eve, dear readers?

U know we have no tobaco for the hookah right
from a 626 phone number, Thursday, December 31, 6:41 PM

God, it's just impossible to throw a good New Year's party these days, isn't it? Either you don't have enough mixers for the vodka, or someone ashes a cigarette in your plant, or you run out of paper towels with which to wipe up your friends' vomit, or there's no tobacco for the hookah! Might as well give up and just watch the ball drop on TV.

FWD: FWD: You have 60mins to tell 10 people “ I Love You including me, or 2010 will be ur worst year, so I LOVE YOU !!!
from a 513 phone number, Wednesday, December 30, 6:33 PM

FWD: FWD: FWD: FWDL FWD: as d new year nears close ur eyes n think of me n u will see me thinking of u. happy new year too. uncle alex
from a 949 phone number, Friday, January 1, 2:33 AM

FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Happy New Year! Be safe! Be happy! Be blessed!
from a 410 phone number, Friday, January 1, 1:11 PM

Nothing like the end of a year to inspire a frenzy of inane, sappy, poorly punctuated chain texts.

Devereaux Happy New Year!
from a 617 phone number, Thursday, December 31, 4:50 PM

Happy new year! I love you both.
from a 678 phone number, Thursday, December 31, 11:28 PM

happy new year! from brooke, john, max, jane, oliver, summer, rosie, cotton, and fruitcup!
from a 339 phone number, Friday, January 1, 12:09 AM

Happy New Year! I love you!
from an 808 phone number, Friday, January 1, 5:02 AM

Happy new year to all of you. hope all wishes come true.
from a 917 phone number, Friday, January 1, 7:30 AM

I couldn't have said it better than these Leila Texters. Happy New Year to everyone! Enjoy 2010!

And, as we move into the new year, let's reflect on this: Over 2009, I posted 710 entires to this blog, compared to 600 entries in 2008. Am I getting less lazy, are there more bad texters on the Verizon network, or are there just more Leilas out there who are ready to be wrongly texted? Think about that for a while, and we'll see what new text messages 2010 brings...

text me on my fone lol
from a 774 phone number, Wednesday, December 30, 6:07 PM

heyy u there? im with ur mom and dad rite now lol
from a 774 phone number, Wedmesday, December 30, 6:23 PM

u here?
from a 774 phone number, Wednesday, December 30, 6:27 PM

u here or wut?
from a 774 phone number, Wednesday, December 30, 8:42 PM

u there
from a 774 phone number, Wednesday, December 30, 9:17 PM

i miss u guys ur mom my mom and ur dad r having an awesome time i had my face painted its so kewl
from a 774 phone number, Wednesday, December 30, 9:24 PM

we r watching the black eyed peas taylor swift and nickelback
from a 774 phone number, Thursday, December 31, 7:48 PM

i miss u 2!!! if only u cood c this its PACKED! ppl eveywhere unbelievable
from a 774 phone number, Thursday, December 31, 8:08 PM

heyy gurl
from a 774 phone number, Thursday, December 31, 8:32 PM

hay!
from a 774 phonr number, Thursday, December 31, 9:36 PM

i miss u so much dont worry tho cause im coming tomorrow!! hee hee
from a 774 phone number, Friday, January 1, 12:40 PM

:-0
from a 774 phone number, Friday, January 1, 12:43 PM

hay gurl im on my way home and if i get home early i will come to ur house and pick up my bros lol! luv ya miss u 21
from a 774 phone number, Friday, January 1, 6:47 PM

hay gal wuz up im comin 2bnight idk if the boys r staying over
from a 774 phone number, Friday, January 1, 8:20 PM

As you probably know, I usually really enjoy receiving messages from strangers. But 774 demonstrates everything that is wrong with the Leila Texts. If all Leila Texters were like this girl, I would have switched my service to AT&T long ago.

saw a missed call at midnight is everything ok?
ho ho ho happy holidays.
prema!
from a 740 phone number, Thursday, December 31, 7:05 AM

I hope Prema! knows she has to change her sig line as soon as the clock strikes midnight tonight. Do we think she’ll go back to “Prema to most, mom to 3,” or is she going to take this sig line thing in a whole new direction? 2010: New Year, New Sig Line?

2009 i$ n3@rly 0v3r $3nd th1s t0 th3 p30pl3 th@t m@d3 y0u $mil3 thi$ y3@r h@v3 @ h@ppy n3w y3@r @nd th@nks f0r m@king m3 $mil3
from a 916 phone number, Thursday, December 31, 12:41 AM

To help those of you not fluent in l33t: $ means S, 0 means O, 3 means E, @ means A, and 1 means I.

Though I have to say—and I say this as someone who is fluent in l33t, and who loves l33t, very dearly, as much as any real language—I think it is possible to go overboard. And I think 916 has crossed that line. Sorry.

Turn it down a wee bit plz… Thanks
from an 805 phone number, Wednesday, December 30, 1:34 AM

Yeah, Leila, it’s 1:34 AM. That’s THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Keep it down in there!

can u add me on myspace
from a 908 phone number, Tuesday, December 29, 8:30 PM

If you were ever wondering, "Who the heck still uses myspace?" the answer is: 908.

hey
-i'm not short, i'm fun-sized!
from a 423 phone number, Tuesday, December 29, 8:19 PM

This is political correctness gone awry. No, 423, you're not fun-sized. You're just short. It's okay; I'm not rosy-cheeked. I just turn bright red. None of us look perfect. It's fine.

heyy u there?
from a 774 phone number, Tuesday, December 29, 7:13 PM

r any of u people here!!!!! seriously!
from a 774 phone number, Tuesday, December 29, 7:14 PM

Just as soon as I get rid of MaYa, I become subjected to 774 chick. There is no rest for the weary.

how was it? all ok? hving a good time? lvu
ho ho ho happy holidays.
prema!
from a 740 phone number, Monday, December 28, 8:40 PM

Now that someone has suggested that Prema's Leila might be pregnant, I have a totally new perspective on this woman's texts.

Party pooper
from a 540 phone number, Monday, December 28, 4:41 PM

U have to rate me on hotness
from a 540 phone number, Monday, December 28, 6:01 PM

Do I? Do I have to?

this is gonna sound terrible, but would u do what we did last night with someone while we were together? cause even if we didnt kiss u know we did stuff
from a 203 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 10:26 PM

I love this text. This is amazing. Obviously, Leila is cheating on her boyfriend with 203-- well, maybe not quite cheating, since they didn't kiss, but they did do stuff. And 203 thinks this is great, only now it has occurred to him that if Leila would sort-of cheat on her boyfriend with him, then she might also someday sort-of cheat on him with someone else. That is the problem with cheating, folks!

So 203 is worried. And he wants to know if Leila would ever treat him as poorly as she's treating her boyfriend. And he wants to ask. But how? Can he sit down with her and have a conversation about it? No, too forward. Can he call her and ask her? Absolutely not-- how awkward. I know! (203 thinks.) I will TEXT her! That is the perfect way to get at the root of her feelings! There's no way she can lie or dodge the question in a 160-character text message!

I make this point all the time, but now I will make it again: The things people are willing to say in text messages!

U wanna stay the night tonite and feed babies???
from a 270 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 5:53 PM

Kayla said all her work clothes and shoes are locked in the apartment , she won't be in uniform.
from a 270 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 5:54 PM

The three question marks makes feeding babies sound really awesome, a la Tom Sawyer's fence-painting. But ultimately, no, 270, I'm going to pass on the baby-feeding. Sorry!

heyy gurl lol how was ur sleep ova
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 12:26 PM

wuts ur cell phone number
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, December 24, 9:12 PM

u here?
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 9:19 PM

keep texting me because my moms watching a scary show and i dont want to c it so keep texting me
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 10:44 PM

heyy gurl
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 10:48 PM

so wuts up and wut do u want to talk about?
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 10:49 PM

i have to go to bed sorry bye!
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 11:01 PM

774, please don't apologize for having to go to bed. Really, I have never been happier to see someone turn off her phone for the night.

I got u 20 dollars
from a 626 phone number, Saturday, December 26, 7:13 M

Gambling winnings?

how far along r u
ho ho ho happy holidays.
prema!
from a 740 phone number, Saturday, December 26, 5:33 PM

How far along is Leila in what? Maybe they are both reading the same book and Prema wants to know how far Leila had read?

Also, the ho ho ho thing? Getting a little creepy.

Im so sorry thats never happened to me before who would have thought hot sauce does that
from an 804 phone number, Saturday, December 26, 3:46 PM

hahaha who would have thought hot sauce does what? Love this text.

I love.my. phone. And u:-) :-) :-)
from an 847 phone number, Saturday, December 26, 12:38 AM

:-)
from an 847 phone number, Saturday, December 26, 12:53 AM

I bet Leila gave 847 a new cell phone for Christmas. That's a sweet gift. It's a pity 847 can't figure out how to use it.

RE: Fwd: MERRY CHRISTMAS. May the reason for the season be in your hearts today and always. I love you
from a 425 phone number, Friday, December 25, 11:33 AM

can u give me her #? and merry christmas
from a 425 phone number, Friday, December 25, 12:43 PM

hi what are u doing right now?
from a 425 phone number, Friday, December 25, 3:32 PM

Hi
-MaYa-
from a 425 phone number, Friday, December 25, 4:20 PM

yes! the cosmos gave me a stoner roomie! REJOICE!!!11!11!
from a 425 phone number, Sunday, December 27, 10:32 PM

Guys. Here is what you have to understand here. This weekend I received five text messages from the 425 area code. AND NONE OF THEM ARE FROM THE SAME PHONE NUMBER. More to the point, only one of them is from MaYa! (I know, we thought MaYa had disappeared forever-- but, surprise! She has a slow learning curve.)

What is going on in Washington state?

At first I thought maybe these were all from MaYa, just using different phones. Like maybe her thought process was, "Clearly, texting Leila from my phone is not working. I know-- I'll try texting from Grandma's phone!" But look at the content: MaYa might say "hi what are u doing right now," but I doubt she'd forward on a chain text. Her messages tend to be boring, yes, but at least she always writes them herself. And she certainly wouldn't thank the cosmos for a stoner roommate. MaYa is a child. She doesn't know what stoners are.

So this means that multiple different people from Washington-- not a very populous state, I would like to add-- were texting Leila this weekend. The question is: Were they all texting the same Leila?

Wat r u doing tonite...and wat r u doing tomorrow
;) b3k@ ;)
from an 808 phone number, Thursday, December 24, 7:32 PM

Wat size r u s m l...
;) b3k@ ;)
from an 808 phone number, Thursday, December 24, 10:38 PM

Any linguist who worries that semi-colons are falling out of favor need look only to Becca's signature line to feel reassured.

in steam, shower, ceragem now. don racing around 4 xmas, & he gave me the usual remedies 4 repair, nothing will stop US!
from a 310 phone number, Thursday, December 24, 1:04 PM

Ceragem International, Inc. is the largest provider of high quality "Thermal Massagers" in North America, in case you were unaware. (I was unaware.) Otherwise, not really sure what's going on here. "The usual remedies for repair"?

what up bday girl! sorry i didnt know . my mom put my name on the flowers
from a 301 phone number, Wednesday, December 23, 6:57 PM

Look, if your mom has already put your name on a bouquet of birthday flowers to Leila, you might as well just claim credit. You're not morally obligated to be like, "Hey, Leila, I know it seems like I remembered to buy you a birthday present-- BUT ACTUALLY I DIDN'T."