Thursday, January 24, 2008

Hi how is spokane we hope u r settled and happy kty lover hr new dresser and clothes tnx luv u
from a 206 phone number, Thursday, January 24, 9:58 PM

I have never heard of anyone moving to Spokane outside of a children's historical fiction novel.
Can u sav me a seat pls
from a 917 phone number, Thursday, January 24, 7:47 AM

Poor 917 girl probably showed up to her 8 AM lecture to find that she had nowhere to sit. And then I bet 917 said, "You didn't save me a seat!"
And then Leila said, "Uh, was I supposed to?"
And then 917 said, "Yes-- I texted you to ask!"
And then Leila shrugged. "Well, I didn't get it."
And then 917 had to sit in the back of the room. On the floor.

Crappy way to start a day, you know?
what - still asleep?
from a 703 phone number, Wednesday, January 23, 8:06 PM

No. I wish.
Go 2 delmarva scroll down 2 m.l.king
from a 443 phone number, Wednesday, January 23, 7:43 PM

These are directions I can follow. is the homepage for a local Maryland newspaper. I'm not sure what on this page to be looking at, though. There's an MLK Youth Day video. Maybe that's it? It shows a chorus of African-American girls singing. OMG, do you suppose one of these girls IS LEILA? Or is 443 girl? I'm watching the video to see if I somehow subconsciously "recognize" them, but so far, nothing. Just a lot of nameless singing girls.
I had a big message for you but I accidentally deleted it so now I have to send you a bad one.
Sorry, Briana

from a 301 phone number, Tuesday, January 22, 8:19 PM

Briana, I have totally been in your shoes. Many a time. Most often with emails. It is so frustrating, when you craft the perfect text message, and then hit a wrong key, causing it to disappear into the ether. It's the modern-day equivalent of penning a masterpiece long-hand, only for the one copy to be destroyed in a house fire. Sucks.
Howd ur finals go?
from a 734 phone number, Tuesday, January 22, 12:24 PM

Ugh, I have always felt bad for students who have their final exams AFTER winter break. It seems like, how can you enjoy vacation when you know you ought to b studying? I don't know that many schools that are scheduled like that, though. Just Harvard. I wonder if the intended Leila is at Harvard. If she is, then I would imagine she's sort of smart, which makes me wonder why her 734 friend is dumb enough that she doesn't know how to send a text message without messing up. Maybe 734 isn't actually friends with Leila (because she, 734, is too dumb) but just wants to "get in good" with her. Or maybe Leila is not at Harvard, after all. Lots of variables here.
Please call this number very important info. 16319607178 Keep it real
from a 704 phone number, Monday, January 21, 2:54 PM

I did not call this number because it looked suspiciously like spam, like if it were an email it would say "Please click on this link" and you would find yourself on a pay-per-minute porn site. But if you want to call this number to find out what's actually on the other hand, please, be my guest. Report back!
FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Fwd: FWD: Fwd:-- Forward this to ten of your friends and then look at
from a 503 phone number, Sunday, January 20, 10:59 PM

your wallpaper. don't get mad this is funny=)
from a 503 phone number, Sunday, January 2, 10:59 PM

You know you have too many "FWD"s in there if they cause you to go over your maximum character allotment and sprawl into two texts. You could have saved precious cents had you bothered to erase even just one or two of those opening "FWD"s. Just saying, 503 girl.
leila whats wrong. can u call me back
from amn 808 phone number, Sunday, January 20, 10:46 PM

CALL ME11111111111
from an 808 phone number, Sunday, January 20, 10:57 PM

I was in the middle of something when I got these texts, but, what can I say, I'm a sucker for long series of 1's (used on place of exclamation points). Plus, whenever a Leila Texter asks what's wrong, I feel compelled to text back to reassure them that nothing is wrong at all. On this particular evening, that made me the girl who said to her friends, "Be right back-- I need to go find some cell reception so I can text this stranger back." My friends nodded resignedly. It all makes me feel bizarrely heroic.
nice musuc...i know were you live...ha ha ha
from a 503 phone number, Saturday, January 19, 4:32 AM

why are you mad
from a 503 phone number, Saturday, January 19, 5:32 AM

are you mad at me...seriously iam tierd of fighting
from a 503 phone number, Saturday, January 19, 5:34 AM

arnt you going to bed
from a 503 phone number, Saturday, January 19, 5:34 AM

its haley can you please stop being mean i m jusr trying to go to bed
from a 503 phone number, Saturday, January 19, 5:50 AM

Really, Haley? You're just trying to go to bed? Really? Because, you know what, me too. Or-- no, wait-- I'm trying to stay asleep, actually, because it's FIVE-THIRTY IN THE FUCKING MORNING, but I'm finding that pretty difficult, Haley, because you KEEP TEXTING ME ALL THE TIME.

I know, I know, you'll say: Leila, if you don't want to get texts all through the night, turn off your phone; unfortunately, on this particular night I was expecting a text message from a friend to wake me up-- at around 10 AM, by the way, not 5 AM-- so my phone remained on. And therefore I received this veritable plethora of texts from Haley.

503 is in Oregon, so I guess she sent her first text message when it was only 1:32 AM, Oregon time, which is totally fine. I mean, I often send texts at 1:32 AM. But if Leila is not texting you back, dear, maybe you should assume she has gone to bed? Not that she's mad at you. Just that she is sleeping.

Eventually, I could not stand it any longer. I called Haley (yes, at 5:50 AM my time) and gave her the whole shpeil about how she needs to pull up Leila's number from her contacts list and yada yada. So I guess it's true: I've now explained the Leila texts so many times that I can LITERALLY do it in my sleep.
Just woke up due 2 not sleeping last nit bidari?!
from a 917 phone number, Friday, January 18, 12:37 AM

917 is for New York cell phones, so presumably this person is in the EST zone. And he woke up at 12:37 AM? I don't understand the timing of it at all. He must have taken a nap. I often take afternoon naps. Though generally, when I nap, I try to wake up before 12:37 AM. Even in NYC, where nights get going late, waking up at 12:37 AM is not a great way to start a night of partying.
Any 1 there?
from a 914 phone number, Thursday, January 17, 5:33 PM

Please answer!!!!! its anna !its been Me the whole time
from a 914 phone number, Thursday, January 17, 5:45 PM

What u doing
from a 914 phone number, Thursday, January 17, 5:55 PM

It never ceases to amaze me the desperation that teenage girls exhibit when they don't get an immediate response to a sent text message. Maybe Leila didn't text you back because she was BUSY. Did you consider that, hmm, Anna? Maybe she was on the phone with someone else. Maybe she didn't even get your goddamn text messages because you didn't even bother to pull her name up out of your contacts list.

"Please answer" followed by five exclamation points is the text message of a girl whose parents are dying or who is trapped in a burning building. Anna, if that's not what's happening to you, then you are a little too "boy who cried wolf" for me. Chill out.
No love
from a 951 phone number, Wednesday, January 16, 9:53 PM

951 does a great job tag-teaming with the "u suck" 408 girl. United, you guys just run my self-esteem into the ground, you know?
Leila can you sign for me?
from a 732 phone number, Wednesday, January 16, 7:56 AM

No, 732 guy. I refuse to fake your signature, not least because I don't know your name.