Friday, April 4, 2008

Hi
aLiSa

from a 406 phone number, Thursday, April 3, 10:04 PM

Hi back at you.
lEiLa
wasnt sure if you wanted to hang after work.u sound tired...all good things
from 646 phone number, Thursday, April 3, 9:58 PM

milton If I go on at 930 mqybe u can lleeve a bit early.some new songs 4 Leila...
from a 646 phone number, Friday, April 4, 7:38 PM

I'm all the more convinced that it's this girl. Not only does she live in New York (and 646 is a NYC area code), but also she has facebook wall postings implying that she works at a bar, which would make sense, if she's at work at 10 PM on a Thursday.

I want to know more about this "some new songs 4 Leila" business. I love new songs.
whats up
from a 707 phone number, Thursday, April 3, 6:53 PM

Sorry dude, already went over this.
Hi leila i am bored no one can have a play date i am so bored
from a 914 phone number, Thursday, April 3, 3:25 PM

I do remember this about being a child: That, if you couldn't find a playdate (and too often I couldn't), your afternoons seemed simply interminable. What are you supposed to do? Read until bedtime?
FWD: Todays chinese menu is: Chu sum twat, Suk mi cok, Lik sum clit, Tung sum ho, Gulp sum cum & Cho kon it! keep di menu going! Tank u cum again!
from a 928 phone number, Thursday, April 3, 2:31 PM

Oh my God, are you SERIOUS? What the hell sort of household were you brought up in, that you think this is clever or even acceptable? All you did was say some dirty words but take out key consonants. It's nowhere near as intelligent as that time Michael Showalter kept saying "Can Mike hunt?" on Stella and thus the word "cunt" was being repeated over and over on TV (and, let's be frank, that wasn't even all that intelligent).

What's Chinese for "You are a racist"?
HiLeilaHow
from a 973 phone number, Wednesday, April 2, 7:57 PM

Sorry, was that supposed to be... "Hi Leila how are you"? Or "How..." something else? Lost in translation!
What going with you
from a 206 phone number, Wednesday, April 2, 1:26 PM

Well, I'm contemplating taking a nap, but chances are looking slimmer and slimmer as the evening progresses. What going with you, 206?
Spasibo. Ruslana.deykun@gmail.com. A moy sister mozhno priglasit? Ne pozhaleesh.
from a 650 phone number, Tuesday, April 1, (;46 PM

I know like zero things about languages, but I THINK this is a transliteration of Russian. Can someone confirm/deny/translate appropriately? We all want to know what this says.
Hey wats the homework 4 math its dami
from a 908 phone number, Monday, March 31, 5:44 PM

R u up nena
from a 908 phone number, Tuesday, April 1, 7:39 AM

908 does not pay much attention. For starters, 908, I assume your teacher wrote the math homework on the board. Perhaps you should have copied it down? Furthermore, dear, typing in L-E-I-L-A does not send a text to "Nena." As you might expect, it sends it to "Leila." More focus, please.
lol...thats funny
from a 571 phone number, Monday, March 31, 5:18 PM

that turkey.....ummm i talked to marry and she showed me your email address on the book and its wrong thats why u didnt get her email.
from a 571 phone number, Tuesday, April 1, 9:58 AM

lol he wont even take off his jacket
from a 571 phone number, Wednesday, April 2, 7:16 PM

571 seems to LOL a lot. She must have very well-defined stomach muscles.

I'm particularly interested in the "lol he wont even take off his jacket" text. I'm picturing a guy awkwardly standing in 571's foyer, and her LOLing and texting Leila, and him getting supremely uncomfortable and being like, "What? What am I doing? What are you texting?"
hope your having fun....i have my son and i cant dance tonight...hopefully i will be there next weekend.
from a 415 phone number, Monday, March 31, 12:12 AM

how was sunday? do you ever go to salsa at cocos in petaluma?
from a 415 phone number, Tuesday, April 1, 1:13 AM

CoCo's Club the best Place of Petaluma. You're welcome.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

2 1 sharks thornton done 2 straight going for three next period. shane doagh scored phoenix
from a 408 phone number, Sunday, March 30, 9:47 PM

Joa Thornton plays for the San Jose Sharks. That would be ice hockey, in case you didn't know. Meanwhile, neither "Shane Doagh" nor "Shane Doagh + Phoenix" brings up anything useful on Google. 408 must have mistyped his name.

I'm shocked that Leila cares about these sorts of details, but I guess the moral of that story is that Leilas care about all sorts of things.
I GOT A DOG! I'll send u a pic!
from a 917 phone number, Sunday, March 30, 10:07 AM

More updates from the American Idol lover whose Leila was in Jamaica. (By the way, if you missed my earlier posts about her, go back and read them-- one of the people who reads this blog commented with a brilliant insight into 917's psyche.)

Anyway, I'm glad to know that, what with 917's favorite AI contestant getting voted off the show, there's still SOMETHING good in her life. I hope a new dog begins to fill the hole in heart that American Idol created.
I love you - are you warm?
from a 206 phone number, Sunday, March 30, 2:00 AM

At 2 AM on a Saturday night, I'm envisioning a couple cuddled together under blankets, sharing an intimate texting moment. I can't help it; it's the hopeless romantic in me.
We get three hrs. And it goes from 7 to 9 30. Check ur email i got one from sarah carey.
from a 339 phone number, Friday, March 28, 12:24 PM

There are 435 Sarah Careys on facebook, so THAT hint doesn't help much. Something that goes from 7 to 9 30 I assume is dinner, but I really don't know what "we get three hrs." means. We get three hours... to rehearse? To sleep? To primp? To study? Personally, I didn't get an email from Sarah Carey; maybe it would have helped, if I had.
whats shayla doing
from a 571 phone number, Friday, March 28, 10:40 AM

Slightly more interesting than all those texts that ask "what are you doing"; unfortunately, harder to fake an answer to.
i guess not
from a 646 phone number, Friday, March 28, 2:11 AM

Hahahaha this is from the same person who, four hours prior, had texted, "Hi rosebud,,love monkey..muffin quest .dream eyes.... Do you love me...." I love it. He's like, "Look, I gave you FOUR HOURS to tell me that you loved me, and if you can't even write back the single word 'yes,' well, I just give up on you. I've had enough."

Poor 646. Don't despair! Leila could love you yet.